This...is crackfic. Crazy fanfic. It isn't glamorous, or smart, or well written. It's the most demented type of fanfiction, and it could kill you. What's really bad is nobody knows how much it takes, so everytime you read one like this you risk having your brain explode. It isn't worth it.
Look, everyone wants to be cool, but doing it with crackfic isn't just wrong...it could be grammatically wrong.
Okuu was guarding the nuclear reactor core, like always. Nothing interesting used to happen, but she didn't mind, if nothing happened it meant no foreign substances invaded the reactor, and that was her main concern on her job.
But her little nuclear mind got suddenly messed up the one unlucky day when a purple brick fell on her head. Sure, it didn't harm her physically; her skull was thick and her skin durable, she was pretty much a solar godess of destruction, a tiny brick wouldn't be enough to harm her. But just as a tap in the head is enough for plenty of heroes to make them lose their memories, it was enough to make her lose her mind, just like back in the whole geyser incident with the souls; boy, wasn't that fun?
Her head hurt a little bit, and her brain...well, atleast she was using her brain.
''Uh, what happened? What was I doing?''Thought the raven out loud
She tried to recall her job, and quickly remembered some important bit: She had the duty of getting rid of any foreign substance in the generator, but something wasn't right
''Foreign substance detected, searching threat'' she exclaimed like a robot going through the motions.
She blasted the brick to kingdom come and flew away. In her mind now, all of Gensokyo was the generator, and she had to crush anything that could threaten it's existence, starting with whoever threw that brick. A bit radical and quite bonkers, but I guess she was justified, cause getting hit with a brick hurts like heck.
She had come out, she could smell the air...it smelled like air. But she wasn't trying to find interesting odors, she was set to find that blasted brick-thrower and get rid of her (Or him, but it was most likely a her), the only question was ''Where to look for the culprit?''
''The person who threw that foreign substance must be able to throw things, so he's got arms...that doesn't help much''
She was right, it didn't help much, in fact, the culprit could have used psychic powers instead of arms to throw that brick. Taking into account that it could almost be anyone in Gensokyo, she decided to go down and take a look at the forest below her, as she had seen a small girl there, and there was no way on earth she could talk to her or fight her while soaring the air like she was doing.
Upon reaching ground level, but not touching the earth with her feet, she got to see the girl more clearly. Her blueish green hair and tiny little antenae made it clear that she was an insect, and her cape looked a bit like a pair of insectoid wings, along with her were numerous bugs who made her company. She was Wriggle Nightbug, the not-very-important firefly; Utsuho had no idea who she was, of course.
''Who are you?'' Wriggle asked, somewhat shaken by the raven's sudden appearance.
''Possible threat detected, engaging target!''
Without letting poor Wriggle say a thing, Okuu shot a big laser from her control rod. The firefly girl barely dogded the laser beam before complaining.
''That's not nice! You come out of nowhere and start shooting at me and I'm the threat?''
Utsuho put down her control rod and started explaining ''Somebody has thrown a foreign substance into the reactor, risking its functionality. You don't look very trusty with all those bugs around you''
With that said, she went back to her fighting stance, shooting at the firefly with a blatant disregard for her surroundings. Wriggle gathered as many wasps as she could and hid between the trees to make her advesary lose sight, and while the bird was looking at her surroundings to find her, she released the swarm.
The wasps actually worked pretty well at pestering Utsuho, but before they could do serious harm to her, she used a spell card that made her burn with fury and a pillar of fire raise from the ground, taking care of all the pesky bugs. It wasn't all over for Wriggle though, and she took advantage of the situation to close in just as the spell card finished and strike her with a few projectiles, knocking her down.
But the bird got back up on her feet quickly and rushed towards Wriggle, ignoring the damage she took by the rest of bullets and kicking the firefly with her elephant's foot right in the stomach, she sent her flying backwards until she hit a tree. Not yet done for, Wriggle tried calling forth more insects to assist her in the fight, but the only ones who came to her help were a few fireflies, she certainly was in a bad situation.
''Wait, you're a firefly?'' Asked Okuu, having just come to such a realization.
''Of course I am, how does that matter?''
''Huh, I guess it couldn't be you.''
''What?''
''Your light is insignificant compared to the sun, there's no way you could do anything against the power of solar radiation'' Utsuho flied away, knocking Wriggle to the ground without even meaning to while taking off.
The firefly girl felt really offended by such comment, and furious about her species being looked down upon so much. Despite all her previous attempts at giving the bugs a good rep, they still were treated like garbage, and she couldn't really change things due to her lack of power.
''Why does everyone treats us this way, chasing us around, trying to kill us with their insecticide? Bugs shouldn't suffer like this, they'll all see. But, it's becoming increasingly obvious. I can deny it no longer! ...I am small. I need someone big to help me out. I need...SpongeBob! Wait, that doesn't make any sense, who's SpongeBob?''
And she sat down to think, not to figure out who SpongeBob was and why that name came to her mind, but think about who could be willing and big enough to help her out.