The Worst Journey of my Life

Yo what is up everybody. It's THG or(as I also like to be called) TheNyanDog. So yeah I know this is going to be one of those cliché stories of Human in Equestria, how he's the chosen one, and he goes out with Rainbow Dash and etc. However, I am not a brony, so I thought to challenge myself by writing a story for something that doesn't interest me, it's hard to explain. Let's just say that I am 50/50 on this. But anyway, BACK TO THE DISCLAIMER. MLP:FiM belongs to Hasbro and some girl named Lauren I guess, maybe. I don't know. P.S. This is my first story so give me all you got on your reviews whether it's bad or good, so BRING IT.

Warning:

There will be EXTREME butt hurt and fourth wall breaking moments. Viewer Discretion is advised.

John Marvin High School

09:00 Hours

Final Exams

You know those stories in movies and books where there is always some sort of high school drama conflict between the guy who has the girl or boy that you are in love with, but at the end you humiliate the guy and get the one you love? Well, let me just explain it with two little letters on this little theory. B.S. It's complete horse crap, do you want to know why? Because I am in my junior year, and I still did not get a girlfriend yet. And to top it all off, I have my regents today. The good thing that comes out of this, is that I can go home, play Team Fortress 2, Black Ops 2 Zombies, and watch all my favorite comedy movies. I'm sorry but I don't think that I introduced myself. The name's Pardo. Nelson Pardo the III. I am 16 years old, love to play football, video games, and I like to watch comedians such as Katt Williams, Daniel Tosh(AN. From the show Tosh.0 . Call it gay and I'll snap your neck like a twig) and Dane Cook. I also have a secret that I can't tell anybody. I'm a martial arts master, ninja, and super powered. All in one person. As much as I want to use it for the final exams today before summer break, I'm going to have to be normal, and get at least 80% on my test good.

Location: John Marvin High School

12:56 Hours

As I was finishing with my test, I suddenly had the urge to take a leak. Even if was considered as a ninja, I will never be able to master my bladder control. Hey, when you got to go, you got to go. After asking permission to use the bathroom, I sped my way down the hall as quick as I can. Passing anyone in my way with ease. I was running so fast, that not even Scout from TF2 could catch up to me. "Damnit, Damnit, Damnit, DAMNIT", I screamed in my head because I had to go REALLY badly. "Yes, I made it before I pissed myself", I thought when I made it to the urinals. During my "business" however, a deep voice spoke somewhere in the bathroom saying "My my, what an interesting choice to have in my little game" the voice said. "Aaaaaghh!" I thought. "Who's there?" I said to the voice. "I'm the one who likes to play games…and no not the Jigsaw B.S. More Like a test" the voice said. "Still Seems like some sort of SAW rip off to me" I said to the voice while smirking. The voice however spoke in a smart ass way "Very funny young one. Now let's see if you think that THIS is funny. Mwaaahahahahahah!". Before I could reply by asking what he meant by that, a white light engulfed me into eternal darkness, before I blacked out.

Location: Unknown

Time Unknown

Wake Up little toy. A voice is the only thing i hear at the moment,so i thought i was in bed.Wake up, it said with a bit of annoyance and irritation in its tone. So i muttered to whoever was talking to me and briefly muttered a simple no shut the hell up and let me sleep. Now at that time your probably thinking "the hell is he doing" right? Since the voice was getting very annoyed with me as well at that point. So you know what he did? Well, what it sounded like first was a microphone or a headset being plug-"wait wait what sound did I thin-" "WAKE UP YOU CONDESCENDING LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT"AaHHAAOOOOOWWWWWW." OH MY GOD. THIS FUCKING HURTS MY EARS. JESUS CHRIST IN A HAND BASKET. Aughh .MULP. Ok, ok, sorry about that readers. Im just now realizing what Archer feels when a guns shoot right next to his ear. But whatever, right now? Its time to go fuck someone up. "Alright, so before we continue on to save Narnia..." I paused for dramatic effect while I was patting the dust off my jeans. "(sucks in air before saying anything, and I mean a LOT of air)...WHAT IS YOUR GODDAMN PROBLEM WAK-...Ing...me up? Hello?" No answer was returned to me. "Hellooooooooo?" However, instead of hearing a "yes" in a response, the only thing that I got back was a few screeches in return. " What was that?" I asked to no one in particular, hoping to get a response in return. Which I didn`t get thank you very much. Now that I think about it, "Where am I...and how did I get here?" " I believe that I can answer both questions with answers you are seeking young one". Wait a minute, that voice, the cocky tone, it was...IT WAS... "YOU". "YOUR THE ONE WHO WOKE ME UP, WEREN`T YOU?" "Yes yes, tell me that you are going to inflict as much pain as you can on me blah blah blah. The point is that YOU would not wake up mr...", "..." ,"...". Oh for the love of... YOUR LINE IS "Names are for friends, so I dont need to give it to you" you fucking idiot. " What... OH oh my line. Yeah sorry eh hehheh. But yeah, names are for friends, so I dont need to give you one", I said like I knew what I was doing. I dont know why but I think I heard someone mumble baka in the background, whoever that is. "Well, anyway, the answer to the first question is that you are in the EVERFREE FOREST." The what?". "The Everfree forest is the locatiom of where you are at, however I will not tell you what world you are in or the fact on how you got here. The only thing that you need to understand is that you must find a strange looking orb. This orb will be a solid color of only one color, however this will be a most difficult quest to find such a thing. You must find 7 of these orbs in order to save your planet. I will only wish you the best of luck, for you will be in need of such a thing." Huh, so what I need to do is find seven orbs and then I can go home?" "Yes human, to start your journey, go down this road and keep heading straight. From then on, you will see blue flowers. Find them, then sleep on it." Why do you want me to sleep on some flowers though?" I ask the mysterious voice. "Would you rather sleep on the ground with who knows what?" He responded sarcastically to me. But then again, he does have the right idea. Flowers are comfortable to lay on actually. But wait, he was awfully vague when he was telling me which flowers to go on. But I`m pretty sure that its nothing. So as to get some more sleep tonight, I head down the directions I was told to follow. Not too long after, I found my destination and wasted no time in falling on the bed. But for some reason, these flowers gave me some weird reactions in my...well...EVERYthing. But I paid no mind to it whatsoever. Not knowing the predicament that I was getting myself into.

A/N Well guys. First Chapter is finished. I managed to finish it with my Kindle so hell yeah. Remember, reviews and comments is nice for me to read. so please at least give me r best shotshot. MAHALO.