Good afternoon, Batman! Welcome to my house! I know it's probably not as cool as the Batcave. Of course I've never seen the Batcave because nobody has except for superheroes and villains and the cast of The New Scooby-Doo Movies. I liked when Scooby tried to get all in the front and find out where the Batcave is, but you wouldn't let him. Then he was all in the back being annoying. You and Robin are kind of like Han and Chewie and the Batmobile is really your Millennium Falcon, right? I bet it could make the Kessel Run in, like 8 parsecs. Anyway, when that happened, I guess Scooby and Shaggy and Velma and Daphne and Fred were kinda like Obi-Wan and Luke Skywalker and C-3PO and R2-D2 and Leia. Well, except when that happened to you, Joker and Penguin had the Batmobile all stolen and you were driving the Mystery Machine, so my analogy falls apart there. Oh, that reminds me! Do you wanna watch Star Wars? I still have an old VHS copy, from before they made it all different. Okay, here we go. This is my favorite part, when they go to the Mos Eisley Cantina. I think if I lived in Star Wars, I wouldn't want to go there. I'd rather go to the bar in Total Recall. Not the one Arnold goes in, but the one the cab driver talks about and says is way nicer. I'd just want to know if it really was, or if that was another lie like when the driver said he had kids. I like to think in Star Wars they watch Total Recall, because in our world, Hoth and Bespin are pretend and Mars and Earth are real, so it's probably the other way around if you live in Star Wars. Also, you'd see small moisture farmers having adventures in the news all the time, so seeing a large construction worker have adventures would be escapist fantasy. You and Arnold both fought the Predator, but it was way cooler when you did it. Also, Arnold looks and sounds a lot like Mr. Freeze, so if you and he both fought the Predator, it might be weird for you because it would be like fighting the Predator alongside Mr. Freeze, even though that kind of makes sense because you and Mr. Freeze would be on the same side and you were always about bringing the good back in Mr. Freeze. Oh, but the problem would be his cold suit would have to work way harder because the Predator is usually in the jungle where it's all hot. It's hot where Luke lives too, but it's a desert and not a jungle, so you'd probably never see Luke fight the Predator. Han travels to a lot of different planets and also he's way more badass than Luke so it stands to reason he might fight the Predator at some point. Han is different from you, though, because he doesn't care about your rebellion and is just in it for the money and you care about people and saving the day. Oh man, this is the part where Darth Vader cuts off Luke's hand and then reveals he's his father. That'd be nuts if the Joker ever cut off your hand and revealed he was your father, right? I think he's much younger than you so he'd have to get your mom pregnant with time travel and there's few things less crazy than a time travel pregnancy. Ah, it's the Emperor! He scares me quite a bit! I like when Darth Vader throws him off the balcony because then I don't see him anymore and I stop being scared. You throw bad guys off balconies a lot, so maybe you are more like Darth Vader than you are like Han, only you don't kill people. Also, I like Jar Jar Binks.