Title: A Bit of Fun
Author: readbycandelight
Rating: T
Summary: In which Darcy makes Dr Banner and Steve Rogers uncomfortable while also catching the eye of a certain someone who happens to like her 'bit of fun.'
Author's Note: This scenario popped into my head this morning so I thought I'd try my hand at an one-shot drabble thingy, something I've never attempted before. Thank you so much for reading! I hope you like, because Darcy Lewis was definitely a fun character for me to work with :D
A Bit of Fun
"I'm bored," Darcy intoned, staring forlornly at the Are We Alone? documentary that Jane, Dr Banner, Steve Rogers, and, weirdly enough, Loki, were all watching from various seated positions in the shared Avengers common room.
She turned her attention to her rag-tag companions, noting that they didn't seem too distressed by her boredom situation. Steve and Dr Banner were seated on either sides of her on the spacious couch. Which, she had to admit, was a calculated move on her part — she'd snugly wiggled in between them just so she could watch the two timid men squirm as far away as humanly possible from her while still politely staying on the couch. A little evil? Yes. But it was vitally necessary for her to do such things if she was to keep her boredom at bay. Anyways they were alright now (at their safe distances away from the curvy, hell-fire personal assistant) with amused expressions on their faces, which Jane shared from her own easy chair, as they all stared forward at the screen like they were in on some big secret which the scientists and actors in the documentary were unaware of. Which, well, they were in on a big secret that the documentary didn't know about because not too long ago The Avengers had to assemble to kick some serious alien ass.
Speaking of which, some of that alien ass was currently sitting in his own easy-back chair watching the documentary right along with them. Darcy cut her gaze over to Loki. He was in the farthest chair in the darkest corner of the room. She noted that he looked ridiculously tall, over-dressed, and menacing in the comfy chair, like maybe he was, oh, she didn't know — an alien prince from a realm far, far away? she thought sarcastically. Darcy still wasn't too sure why exactly he was here. Thor and Jane had explained to her that part of his punishment for his crimes against earth was to live among the people he had tried to defeat. Darcy supposed that seemed character building when written down on paper, but seeing him in real life just sitting in front of the boob tube…yeah, it didn't look too much like a punishment.
Or maybe it was… She scrutinized his features, taking in the haughty twist to his lips and the disgust glittering in his jade green eyes as he stared at the television set. He looked both utterly bored and disarmingly revolted by what he was watching. She could practically hear him screaming in his mind, 'Dear Loki, why do I have to put up with such brainless peasants!?' …Because in Darcy's head Loki prayed out to himself. He seemed like the type of god that would do that. She amused herself for a couple of more moments by imagining what his inner monologue must be like while he watched the screen full of uninformed humans speculate on - gasp - what's out there.
She smiled a little. He might be a psychotic alien, but at least he was as bored to tears as she was.
"You know," she burst out, when she'd finally grown bored with her new game. "I used to think Morgan Freeman was omnipotent, because he's God and all, but this documentary has made me lose all faith in him. He should already know that we're not alone. Just like we all, in here," she motioned in a circle with her right pointer finger to emphasize her point, "know that aliens exist. So can we do something less redundant now?" she pouted.
This time she had everyone's attention. Jane and Dr Banner, who were in on her 'Bruce Almighty' pop culture reference, had turned to her with amused expressions on their faces. The super soldier and the Asgardian, however, were looking at her as if she had turned into a snail that meowed like a cat.
"Morgan Freeman is God?" Steve asked, his handsome, all-American face scrunched up like he was questioning all of his long-held beliefs.
No one answered him. Instead, his uncertainty hung in the air as Jane smiled wryly at Darcy and asked, "Alright, Darcy, then what do you want to do?"
It was really hard for Darcy to keep a straight face as she executed her diabolical plan that she had set up from the very moment since she'd sat down on the couch - but she managed, because she was badass like that. With a dark, deadpan expression on her face, she slid both of her hands out to the sides of her until she was kneading a toned upper thigh of both Dr Banner and Steve.
"Corrupt the innocent," she intoned, her eyes locked on Jane as she gave the men's thighs a good squeezing.
Both Dr Banner and Steve shot up from the couch simultaneously, as if burned, putting as much distance between themselves and Darcy as they possibly could, their virtues a-fluttering. She could have sworn she even heard an 'eep' from the Cap.
"Darcy." Jane instantly went into lecture mode. "That was rude. You know Dr Banner has a blood pressure condition, and Steve is a very nice young man with good moral values. Why would you do such a thing?"
"Ah come on," Darcy said in a fit of hysterics. "It was just a bit of fun!"
"But seriously? Is Morgan Freeman God?" she heard Steve furtively asking Dr Banner as they rushed out of the exit to the room with burning cheeks. This sent Darcy reeling further until she was laughing so hard tears sprang to her eyes.
"My work here is done!" she proclaimed triumphantly, as she spread herself out on the couch, her arms braced behind her head.
Jane just shook her head disapprovingly, leaving her troublesome assistant to gloat.
Throughout all this, Loki had sat in his dark corner, the look of pure boredom slowly shifting into interest as he watched the impish little mortal's antics… 'Well that had certainly been…mischievous,' he thought, his gaze flashing with approval as he mapped out her form with his eyes. A slow, crooked grin spread out across his pale, aristocratic features. 'Yes. She would definitely be 'a bit of fun," he decided, already thinking of the ways he was going to corrupt her.
Darcy abruptly stopped laughing when she saw the intensely gleeful expression on Loki's face — an expression that was directed solely at her. "What?" she asked defensively, not liking his creepy alien vibes.
"Oh, nothing," he said in his cultured accent. The ominous grin never left his face. "I was just thinking that this realm might actually have its charms after all."
Finis?