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Mars

Chapter 1: Love him

Their breath was short and harsh as they lay exhausted in the sticky sheets. She was on her side and he lay proudly on his back as though he was worthy of praise. After a brief moment of self-satisfaction he realised that his mate had not yet spoken to him so he turned his head and looked at her soft, white body. She was so fair, amazingly fair. He moved close to her and stroked her hair that ran down to the small of her back in delicate ringlets.

"You know I have never seen a woman with hair like yours. It is golden like the sun." He smiled as he petted her and she grew cold at his touch. "Out of all my mistresses, I think I may like you most of all." He pressed his lips against her shoulder and kissed it. She moved slightly, but he did not notice. It was true what he said, he had never seen a woman with golden hair, but this was mainly because she was of Swedish nationality but sold as a maid at a young age to one of the senators, who taught her Latin and good manners. How she ended up in the prince's bed, she did not have a clue - it was another of life's little tricks. She had not yet decided on how she felt about the matter, but she was only seventeen. In our day it seems a very young age to be touched, but in Ancient Rome life was very different. "And your eyes, they are so blue - like the ocean." The ocean, it was a distant memory. "And your lips, they are plump and red like cherries." He was looking at her face now. Cherries were a luxury she only enjoyed whilst in his quarters. There was no doubt about it - he treated her well, when his mood was good. "Do you love me?"

This was the question she dreaded being asked. As soon as the words left his mouth she went stiff and rigid and the warmth in the room had vanished along with the air. This he did notice and his anger began to simmer slowly as he awaited her response.

"I don't know." She finally muttered, pulling the sheets close to her body.

"You don't know?" he sneered. "What do you mean - you don't know?"

"I don't know what love is your highness, how am I to know if I have experienced it?" She didn't look into his eyes, she was afraid to.

"Yes, well..." He seemed to be calmer. "I know that feeling - not knowing what love is. That is the product of loneliness and neglect, and if you have not been loved you won't know what it is. Maybe we could love each other." He was distant, as if he was talking outside of the room. "I don't love you, you know. I just like you especially. But you react to me differently to the other girls. They are fierce and rough, whereas you are soft and kind. It's a different feeling." He moved away from her again and lay upon his back..

"Indeed, you are the only man I have ever been with who even knew my name." She sighed. The senator was the only other man who she had been with, but it was a different situation. He abused her. He called her simply 'girl' but she was more than a girl was and that's how she felt with Commodus - like a woman.

"It's strange as I know not the names of the other women!" He chuckled to himself in an almost manic way. "But your name I always remembered. Amorina. It always reminded me of the sea, and how Venus came to shore in that shell. You're how I imagine her. You're like Venus - in human form." It was a compliment, to be compared to the most beautiful person, goddess in the world. "I always imagined myself as Mars. Strong and full of courage. Is that how you see me?"

"No." She stated clearly. "You have a gentle nature and the God of War does not. You have qualities of all of the gods, especially Bacchus, as you hold cheer in your face."

"Yes, well, I'm not really one for drinking. I believe I am more like Mars." He turned and pressed himself lovingly against Amorina's back. "What do you believe are the great virtues?"

"Well..." She paused, unsure of how to answer, as she never dreamed this question would arise. "Faith, because we all need something to fight for, have we no country nor family. Hope, as without hope we would achieve nothing. Charity, as people are starving and need bread. Fortitude, as a strong mind is a capable one. Justice as all things should be fair. Temperance because overindulgence can be fatal and, well...prudence as we all need to be cautious.." As she listed each one his grip on her grew tighter.

"Do you realise I have none of those, except charity for my people and the hope that my father will love me." He laughed slightly under his breath. "You could be in cahoots."

"Your father does love you Commodus." Amorina said, turning to stoke his cheek.

"He has a strange way of showing it. Do you know that he always wished my sister had been a boy? He never hugged me once. I've lived a very empty life." It was strange how he opened up when his clothes were removed, as if they were some sort of regal shield.

"I will hug you if that is what you wish." She purred, desperate to console him.

"Love me." He almost whispered it and Amorina wasn't sure if he was actually speaking to her. "Please." He seemed so boyish, young and vulnerable. He wasn't asking her to make love to him, this was completely different. He wanted her complete attention, body, mind and heart. He wanted to be loved. He was so amazingly lonely.

"I don't know if I can." She was scared, petrified of where this was leading. She didn't know exactly what he wanted from her, except that he wanted to be loved. But was it her love he actually wanted?

"Then don't." He said is bluntly with no emotion whatsoever.

She took this as her cue to leave and began to clothe herself in her white toga. He wouldn't lay his eyes on her as she pulled back her hair and secured it in place. She walked out of the room without so much as a goodbye or thank you.