Magica's Trial
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
Thanks to " Which Witch is Which? " by Erin T. Aardvark, who mentioned some sort of witches' council in that story. It gave me this idea.
Thank you very much. I hear US # 398 will have Launchpad in it after all. Also Ugly Twerp. Drop the "Launchpad is an idiot" routine, and I'll not only call UT by his given name once again, I'll write a story in which they work together , Launchpad designing the plane itself and UT the computer guidance system and the gizmos and gimcracks.
Launchpad: "Stop trying to explain how your stupid time machine works or I'll try to explain how planes fly AGAIN!"
Since I doubt Boom is the slightest bit willing to stop treating Launchpad as if he were a moron (even if they could make money by doing so), I feel safe making such a promise.
Magica DeSpell stood before the witches' council. Good Witches sat on the right side of the dais, Evil Witches on the left. (1) Judge Endora stood in judgment over the proceedings.
"Magica DeSpell, you are accused of wasting, Time, Energy and Magic trying to steal a DIME from a MORTAL! Of going so far as to use MUNDANE, TECHNICOLOGICAL (2) means to obtain that Dime! How do you plead?" Judge Endora asked.
" It's NOT an ordinary dime! It has great magical power I could tap into! I could greatly increase my powers, if it were mine!" Magica replied.
"You've been trying to steal that Dime since before I was born." the half-witch Sabrina, sitting on the Good Witch side commented.
"Longer than I've been alive." Wendy, who sat beside her added. (3)
"What difference does THAT make? We witches live a long, long time! I will get that Dime, someday! And still have forever to use it in!" Magica swore.
"You must prove to us that the Dime is magical. If it turns out to be a normal dime, we will punish you for abuse of power." Judge Endora ordered.
"But even IF you could steal the Dime, using it to do magic would prove nothing, you are a powerful witch and have used technological trickery to do "magic" before. A witness is needed. A mortal witness who can testify to the Dime's power. You must find such a witness and bring them here." Judge Endora ordered.
"Scrooge McDuck himself could testify to it's power, he has used it to become the richest duck in the world." Magica cackled, already planning to steal him and his Dime.
"Won't prove anything. Mortals trust in "magical" or "lucky" items that are perfectly normal all the time. Mortals make fortunes all the time, some thur cheating some thur talent, some by both." Helga the troll witch,(4) who often sold fake magical items to mortals, said.
"His nephews..." Magica sputtered...planning to steal HDL and ransom them for the Dime.
"What do kids know? Of course they BELIEVE it's magic or lucky! Their uncle taught them to believe that!" Lilith, possibly the oldest witch alive (she was around before Eve), replied.
"Gizmoduck" Magica said, grasping.
"Robot. Nothing but a robot." M, one of Shakespeare's witches said, incorrectly.
"You need a mortal who can testify to the Dime's power. Not a machine." C, another of Shakespeare's witches, said.
Magica searched her memory until, out of sheer desperation, she said:
"Launchpad McQuack!"
"Who?" asked Beth, the third of Shakespeare's witches.
"Launchpad McQuack is this crazy pilot who works for Scrooge McDuck! He's tried to stop me from stealing the Dime many times. Launchpad's helped Gizmoduck protect it, he's helped Scrooge get it back! Launchpad's been a royal nuisance to me ever since he started working for Scrooge McDuck!" Magica said.
"Why would a PILOT try to prevent you from stealing Scrooge's Dime? That's not his job!" M asked.
"Tell HIM that! Launchpad is always protecting that Dime and anything else Scroogie values...his money, his nephews..." Magica replied.
"But he's not related to Scrooge? So it's no skin off of his beak, one way or the other?" C asked.
"You'd never know that from the way he acts, but no, he's no relation to Scrooge. Launchpad has no reason to care, but he does." Magica asked.
"Magic COULD cause that. Bring this crazy pilot here. He can testify to the Dime's power. He OUGHT to be a disinterested third party. Remember, if we find that it's a normal dime, we will punish you for abuse of power." Judge Endora ruled.
So Magica decided to pilot-nap Launchpad and bring him to bear witness to the Dime's power. Magica would of threatened Launchpad into doing so, IF that would do her any good.
()() But I know they will cast a Truth spell on him, so he can ONLY tell the Truth as he sees it. If I threaten him, the witches council will hear of it. And he will STILL give his honest opinion as to wheither the Dime is magic or not.()() Magica thought.
But FINDING Launchpad proved harder than she thought. Launchpad has a tendency to travel quite a bit, he's also very busy. And you know how it is when you're looking for ANYTHING, don't ya? It hides on you.
So it wasn't until she checked on our house that she found Launchpad. It had been a rare, quiet day and he was playing with our kids and doing Dad stuff. I was there, being Mom. But when I went in to get lunch for a backyard picnic... Magica's struck.
Magica swept down on her broomstick, grabbed Launchpad, tossed him on the broomstick and flew off. LJ (Launchpad Jr), Harry, Sheila and Dora naturally cried. I came out to see what the trouble was...and saw Magica high in the sky, flying off with Launchpad.
"There, there, now. Dad will be back soon. I hope." I said to the kids, so THEY wouldn't worry. I absent mindedly fed them while I tried to think what to do. Then, the phone rang. I herded the kids indoors and answered the phone.
"Launchpad! Magica's stolen my Lucky Dime! Get here at once!" Mr. McDuck bellowed.
"Sorry, Mr. McDee! Magica's just stolen Launchpad! And I bet it has SOMETHING to do with your Dime! If Mrs. Beakly will baby sit my kids, I'll help all I can!" I replied.
"Of course she will! Get over here so I can figure out what trouble Launchpad's gotten himself into THIS time!" Mr. McDuck snorted.
Now that the problem of "what do I do with the kids" had been solved, I rushed to help Launchpad. If that meant rescuing Mr. McDuck's stupid Number One Dime, FINE!
Meanwhile, Magica flew Launchpad to the witches council and dropped him plop! in front of Judge Endora. Judge Endora cast a Truth spell on Launchpad.
"Now you can only tell the Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth." she said.
"I usually do. On the rare occasions I deceive anybody, I do so by forgetting to mention something, by keeping my mouth shut. Why did I admit that?" Launchpad replied.
"Because the spell I cast requires you to tell the Whole Truth. You can no longer lie by omitting inconvenient facts. I know the easiest and safest way to lie is to tell only part of the Truth, to omit certain facts that would change the whole picture, if known." Judge Endora answered.
"Why am I here? What do you want of me?" Launchpad asked.
"You are here as a witness. Answer our questions and we will return you home, unharmed. Magica De Spell is on trial for wasting Magic. Tell us, is Scrooge McDuck's Dime an ordinary Dime?" Judge Endora asked.
"Heck, no! There's GOT to be SOMETHING special about that Dime. I don't think it works for anybody but Mr. McD, though. It's earned him his fortune of umpteen zillion dollars, even if Mr. McDee doesn't always admit that. But it's not just that. Mr. McDee is , like, 103. " Launchpad began.
"In perfect health and vigorous. And he recently discovered this elixer that makes anybody over 100 young again...even if they still look pretty much the same. so he's liable to stay vigerous and healthy till forever, practically. " Launchpad continued.
"And he's run all sort of risks, taken all sort of chances...and won out, time after time. He's beaten Flintheart Glomgold and countless other challengers time after time. Done all this without any real harm to himself." Launchpad continued.
"And despite the fact he never married, never got too serious with a woman, he has three heirs. Huey, Dewey and Louie. Let's see if I got this stright: Mr. McDuck's sister Hortese married Quackamore Duck and their children were Donald and Della. Mr. McDee was the baby of the family- Hortese and Matilda were in their early teens when he hatched." Lauchpad explained.
"Della married Daniel Duck. Mr. McDee didn't exactly approve of Della marrying Daniel, nor did the rest of the family- but they eloped and married anyway. Mr. McDuck and Della got into a fight about that and never did quite bury the hachet." Launchpad began.
"I'm not sure if Mr. McDee feels guilt-er about the fact that he never mended fences with his niece- or that he never liked Daniel. Simply because Daniel wasn't rich. Then Della and Daniel Duck went on a second honeymoon and left the Trins with DONALD- and never came back. " Launchpad said.
"103? Elixer of life? That's NOT normal. It's as if the Dime were keeping Scrooge alive and healthy. As if it conspired to create heirs to continue to use and protect it and is keeping Scrooge going until they are old enough to use it properly." M said.
"Could be a coincidence." C replied.
"Magic has made itself look like luck or coincidence before." Bink of Xanth put in.
"So it has. Beside, what about our witness? How long have you worked for Scrooge?" Beth asked.
"Nine years now. I started when I was 13. Mr. McDee don't know that. I wrote down my correct age of hatched on all the papers I had to fill out when I came to work for him and submitted my working papers, but he still doesn't seem to know that." Launchpad replied. (5)
"And you have run risks with him, risked your life with and for him, with no lasting harm to yourself? Beth asked.
"Yes." Launchpad answered.
"Could the dime be causing him to protect it? And then rewarding him?" Wendy asked.
"WHY do you protect Scrooge? Protect the Dime?" Sabrina asked.
"Mr. McDee is my friend. I like him. I admire his chutzpah. I admire and respite him. And SHUSH pays me when I save him or his Dime...but I'd do it anyway." Launchpad answered.
"The Dime might have caused this. Might be rewarding your efforts." Judge Endora admitted.
Elsewhere, I flew a plane to the McDuck Mansion and carried my kids to Mrs. Beakly.
"Thank you so much for taking care of my kids for me." I said.
"You are quite welcome. Webby and the boys are going to Donald's after school, so I have the time." Mrs. Beakly replied.
I realized that with Donald living next door, Mrs. Beakly was worried about her job security.
"Donald doesn't cook or clean for this house. And he works as a mailman, so he's not always free to take care of the boys." I reassured her.
Then I flew Mr. McDuck in my plane.
"I fitted my Lucky Dime with a tracking device. This finder will point to the dime like a compass. I had to take the Dime out of the Bin to test the tracking device, it can't "find" the Dime in the Bin." Mr. McDuck said.
"The walls are too thick. And Magica stole the Dime the second you took the Dime out of the bin. How come people smart enough to build such things never think of stuff like that? Just proves nobody smart about EVERYTHING." I replied.
So we followed the pointer, intenting to rescue Launchpad...only HE rescued US! The witches saw our plane coming. And did not want mortals interfering with their trial. So they zapped the plane. Even the good Witches didn't mind endangering us. As long as we stayed out of their way, they would not harm us. But just as you'd swat a fly that annoyed you...they swatted us.
Our plane went DOWN. Launchpad saw this and reconized the plane. The witches had not tied or oherwise confined him. They THOUGHT he had no way out of there, short of running...and he could not run fast enough for them not to stop him. But Launchpad "borrowed" Magica's broom. He hopped on it and flew off.
"He's flying your broom? HOW?" asked Judge Endora.
"Actually, he's done that before." Magica admitted.
Meanwhile, Launchpad on Magica's broom had caught up with our crashing plane. We were not high up enough for parachuting to be a viable option.
"Open the emergency door and hop onto the broom!" Launchpad screamed.
But Mr. McDuck PANICED. He's a very brave man, but everybody scared of something. Mr. McDuck is terrified of flying and more terrified of crashing. He's always imagining all kinds of crashes. THIS was his worse nightmare come to life. He grabbed the chair, hugged it and would NOT let go. I could not drag him from his seat.
Then Launchpad saw Magica's wand tied to the broomstick. The witches had tied Magica's wand to her broomstick, so she could not use her wand during her trial. Launchpad broke the string that tied it on, grasped the wand and pointed it.
"Work, PLEASE work!"Launchpad said. "Please save them."
The magic word "please" did the job. The wand caused the plane to stop falling and to come to perfect landing right near the witches courthouse. Launchpad himself could not have landed better.
We got out of the plane.
"Sharan! You risked your life to rescue me?" Launchpad asked.
"Of course. I love you very much, Launchpad." I replied.
I had somehow decided to wait for us to be alone together to remind him whom had rescued whom.
"And you too, Mr. McDee? You risked your life to rescue me?" Launchpad asked.
"Magica stole my Dime! I came here to get it back!" Mr. McDuck hollared.
"I did not! I don't know what you're talking about!" Magica fibbed.
Right after Magica said that, the Dime fell out of Magica's pocket from a hole that hadn't been there two seconds ago. The Dime rolled right towards Mr. McDuck and stopped right in front of him, like a dog returning to a beloved master...or a boy running to a beloved dog, mattering on who's in charge around here.
"What more proof do you need of the Dime's magic? It returns to Scrooge, as if by accident! It even effects this man who has worked closely with Scrooge! Allowed him to make Magica's broom and wand work for him. He has protected the Dime, so the Dime protects him in return. Some of it's magic has rubbed off on him." Beth proposed.
So the witches adjourned to consider their verdict. Soon, Judge Endora gave their verdict:
"The Dime is clearly a magical item of great power and potential. Therefore, I declare Magica NOT GUILTY of wasting magic by trying to steal it. However, Magica, I strongly advise you to leave the Dime alone in the future. " Judge Endora began.
"The Dimehas oblivious chosen Scrooge as it's keeper...or it's pet... it obliviously WANTS to stay with him. It uses it magic in various sneaky ways to remain with Scrooge. I suggest you accept that, or it's really going to cause you trouble." Judge Endora said.
"I've been telling her that for years now." Scrooge muttered.
And he picked up his Dime and put it in his pocket.
"I'll get that Dime yet!" Magica replied.
"Case dismissed, all parties can go back to their business. I'll fix that plane so the mortals can go home." Judge Endora said.
And she fixed the plane and we went home before they could change their minds.
The End.
(1) My Dad was a Lefty (in more ways than one), so, yes, I know that's dumb.
(2) In "Magica's Magic Mirror" Magica uses a camera, a balloon "Unca Scrooge" and other trickery to do "magic".
(3) Wendy, the Good Little Witch from the late and largely forgotten about Harvey Comics. Yes, I'm old enough to have read Harvey comics.
(4)There's a kid's picture book , "Helga's Dowry", about a troll who earns a dowry by magic and trickery.
(5) Mrs. Featherby knew she was supposed to do something with Launchpad's working papers, but she didn't know what. She waited for Mr. McDuck to scream at her for not doing it yesterday so she could ask where and who to send the working papers to. Mr. McDuck didn't realize how old Launchpad wasn't, never said anything. Eventually, Mrs. Featherby forgot all about it because she had so much other work to do.
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