Title: Blinded
Rating: T
Pairing: Bryan/Tala, mentions onesided Tala/Kai (nothing serious, though...)
Warning: Includes yaoi. Deary, deary me... Also includes foul language. I blame the television.
Disclaimer: Beyblade and it's characters do not belong to me, I'm just borrowing them to amuse myself and (hopefully) the others.
Summary: One night in a hotel could change your life.
Beta-reader: Nancy. She deserves a lot of chocolate for putting up with me and my stories.
A/N: Ah-ha! I decided to torment the humanity again. And I'm continuing with the couples I love... And I really do love this one.
My inspiration for this one? A Russian hotel, in which I have never been to. But I have the feeling, that now I have to go there someday.
Reviews and constructive criticism are very much appreciated.
Blinded
They didn't call it "The City of Lights" for nothing.
It really was a beautiful view. Tala was quite sure that there was nothing which could have compared with the beauty of Moscow in moonlight... Moonlight? Well, if you thought about it critically, you could hardly see the moon through all the clouds and stars seemed to be just gone. But that didn't matter, because there were the lights. Brilliant, luminous, intoxicating lights everywhere! Tala felt like he could have gone blind due to all the brightness around him. But if he was to go blind, he would not complain, because otherwise everything was just plain perfect right now. Right now, Tala could have died as a happy man.
Of course, he might have been just a bit biased with all this. It was his hometown, after all. And he had to admit, that there was probably always something special about the view if you were looking at it from the roof. Of a 34 storey building. In more than 530 feet high.
Tala grinned. It wasn't exactly allowed to be there. But since when had he cared? Besides, it only made the whole experience more pleasurable. The risk of getting caught...
He really needed to thank Spencer and Ian for practically forcing him to take the holiday.
"Come on, you deserve it after all you've been through! We have the money, it's not a problem. You'll spend a day and night in a luxurious hotel and you'll relax and have fun", they had said. Tala had only sneered and told them that he didn't need it, and that their own home was just fine. Ian had reserved the hotel anyway, already for the next night. Only then had Tala been informed that cancelling now would not give them their money back, and the whole thing had cost them more than 11 000 Rubles. Angrily, he had agreed to go. Ian had smiled victoriously while Spencer had told him that he might as well take a friend along with him, since it would not cost anything extra. Everyone had turned their gaze towards the fourth teammate, who had been silently sitting on the couch nearby.
After a while, Bryan had lifted his head, looked at Tala and said sweetly:
"How about Kai then?"
Tala had ordered the other one to join him, just to piss him off. He received a lot of curses as an answer, but in the end Bryan had agreed to come. Ian had been even more mischievously looking than usual when he had casually sat next to Bryan and told with an innocent voice:
"Oh, and I hope you don't mind; I might have accidentally ordered a room with just one, king-sized bed. But I thought to myself: what the hey, they're friends, right? And it's not like your masculinity will suffer or anything if you sleep together. In a same bed, I mean."
Spencer had hold Bryan still for the next 3 hours so that he could not kill the shorter boy, who in turn had used the golden opportunity to tease Tala endlessly on the subject "You are going to sleep with Bryan!" .
Tala really, really, really should have never told his teammates that he was gay. While they weren't angry or disgusted as he had been afraid of in the beginning, they certainly did their part of making his life even more difficult than it already was. Ian and Spencer seemed to think that he was a funny little gay-man who could and should be teased whenever possible, and Bryan... well, Bryan was Bryan. He wouldn't tease Tala, he would always be on his side and his act towards the redhead was usually just the way it had been before the great disclosure. And still...
There was this little something that bothered Tala more than it should have, really. Bryan didn't shower with them anymore. Sure, Tala understood that there were lots of reasons why a 17-year-old guy would not like to go to showers with three other guys on regular basis, but still! They had always done so in the abbey. It had been so normal to them, that when the Biovolt-corporation had been abolished and the four of them had moved into the same house, they had actually installed four separate showers to their bathroom. Some old habits die hard, and some of them live on forever.
While they were moving in, Tala had more or less incidentally slipped that he preferred men over women. Everyone had just stared for a while. Then Ian had shrugged lightly and, while continuing carrying the pile of cartons inside, said:
"Well, good luck with that then. If you ever have trouble finding yourself a date, I'm pretty sure that our milkman fancies you. Hey, maybe you could even make him give us some discount?"
Spencer had grinned encouragingly, winked and hurried off to save Ian from dropping the cartons. Bryan had just stood there, with his mouth open, and stared. After a couple of minutes Tala had felt obligated to ask whether he was alright. Bryan had just closed his mouth, nodded hastily and somehow carried the whole couch inside the building, alone, without even thinking it. He was back to normal in five minutes though, so Tala thought that there was nothing to worry about.
Except, of course, that little thing with showers. Later that night, when the others had decided to take a nice, refreshing shower, Ian had asked whether Bryan would join them too. The answer had been polite but strict "no thank you". When Ian had asked why, Bryan had mumbled something about not having a particular reason, but strangely enough looked at Tala from the corner of his eye. Ian and Spencer had looked like they would have wanted to say a few words to the precious teammate of theirs, but Tala had begged them with his eyes to not to say anything about it.
After that day, Ian and Spencer had kept on showering with Tala because they saw no reason to stop doing so. It was, after all, the way they had done it most of their life, and, as Spencer had said:
"It's not like you wouldn't have seen us naked before, why start panicking now?"
After that day, Bryan had started going to the showers alone. Tala had once, in a severely sad and miserable mood, through teary eyes asked Bryan would he still shower with them if he would have not known that his teammate was gay. Bryan had just smiled softly, something he very rarely did, gently stroked Tala's tearful cheek and said that it had nothing to do with it. Since Tala was so desperate to believe that it did not have anything to do with it, he had not let himself worry about it anymore. Bryan was still Bryan. Only thing Tala really missed while not being able to shower with his teammate was someone to inconspicuously stare and marvel. Since whether Tala liked to admit it or not, Bryan was hot as hell. And indeed, Bryan in little clothing or in no clothing at all was most certainly a sight that every homosexual man on the planet would have welcomed to his bathroom with open arms and, possibly, with little less clothing too. Tala was no exception. But the fact that he happened to desire his teammate's smooth skin and tight muscles and something he did not even dare to think about did not make him a pervert. It just showed that Tala had some appreciation towards the perfect creations of gods, that's all.
Wind stirred the red hair, and Tala woke up from his thoughts to be able to admire the view again. The river nearby looked as though it was full of different colours and lights. If Tala would take a jump now, would he land on the water and flow with the lights? His brains told him that the distance made it impossible to hit anywhere else than on the ground, and doing that would just make him very flat and incredibly dead. His mind could have made the body jump right away if only it hadn't been too busy with the lights flashing from the small-looking building next to the hotel. So pretty, and yet so cold, so emotionless...
Tala felt like the lights were blissfully drowning him, and everything he felt was suddenly somehow... more. He surrendered to the feeling and let it roam in his mind freely.
He wanted it to be like this forever. The wind in his hair, the city of Moscow around him, the moon throwing it's faint glow through the clouds upon the sleepless city, trying to compete with the lights which ruled the night and –
"Are we done here yet? Can we go away now? And could you please stand a bit further away from the edge, you are making me nervous. It's a long way down if you fall, you know."
... and a nagging friend behind his back.
"Yes, mother", Tala sighed and turned to look at his friend, currently tapping his foot on the ground impatiently.
"Don't call me that," came the irritated answer. Tala flashed a grin.
"But it suits you so well, Bryan."
"Shut up, will you. Why oh why did I come here with you in the first place?" Bryan asked accusingly, throwing suffering glances towards the moon, as if the whole thing had been its fault. Tala just shrugged.
"Exactly. We are not even allowed to be here. We will get in serious trouble if they find out that you stole the key from that security-guard", Bryan kept on ranting, waving his arms and eyeing guiltily the doorway which would lead to maintenance stairway.
"Since when have you cared?"
"Since we started doing stupid things so that you could be stupid!"
Tala snickered. Normally, he might have been even offended, but right now it didn't matter to him even if Bryan did think he was being stupid. How could Bryan understand, anyway? He hadn't even looked at the scene below the building. Bryan didn't see the magic performed by the lights...
Tala's eyes fixed on the handrail cycling the roof. Why was it so low? Not even two feet! Tala estimated the height something around a foot and a half. Anyone could have climbed over it, hell; anyone could have fallen over it. Well, Tala reminded himself quickly, most of the people weren't supposed to even be here. Maybe they didn't think it was necessary to put proper parapets here.
I wonder if I could stand upon it.
It was awfully narrow, and yes, one little misstep and nothing would save him anymore, but... you only live once, right?
"Tal- What the fuck are you doing?" Bryan screamed as he witnessed Tala lifting his other leg on the handrail and then pushing himself gently and carefully on top of it, swaying dangerously looking but not quite falling.
"I just want to feel free", Tala mumbled, trying to maintain his balance.
"You can surely feel just as free on the safer side of the parapet and, even better, at least 33 storeys lower!"
"You are sweet Bryan. Did you know that?" Tala turned to the one expedient he knew which would always shut Bryan up. Apparently the boy was just incapable of accepting praising comments.
Now to think of it, Bryan really was rather sweet. Tala had to wonder about this for a moment. Why wasn't he actually ever considered Bryan as a potential boyfriend-material? If you excluded the reasons that Bryan never talked about anyone in a way which would have showed that the teen had even the slightest of interest to be a boyfriend to someone and that no one quite knew whether the boy liked girls, boys or both, that is. Bryan certainly, as Tala had already pointed out to himself, had the looks. He had the brains too. And even if everyone else might have thought that the seemingly cold Russian was just another asshole not worth knowing, Tala knew better. Bryan might have fooled everyone else to think that he was merely a cold-hearted bastard, but Tala and the rest of the guys had been there to witness Bryan's other sides too. He could be a cold-hearted bastard at times, Tala admitted that without hesitation, but he was also a loyal friend and would never disappoint those whom he cared about.
Bryan truly was a good friend to Tala, the kind you did not want to lose. That could have been one of the primary reasons why Tala never even considered Bryan as someone to seriously start dating with. What if the thing between them would not work? What to do then? Tala looking at Bryan, Bryan looking at Tala, both of them silently wishing that none of it had ever happened... that was far too horrible to even think about. Tala mentally shook his head. To lose a dear friend just because you needed to play lovers with that someone? Of course there was this friendly flirting-thing going on between them all the time, but it could have not been considered as anything else than light-hearted playing.
There had also been that time when he had been crushing on Hiwatari, which had kept him pretty efficiently from eyeing any other guys. For two useless years he had longed after his old friend and then the crush had just slowly faded away. Two weeks ago he had stared at his blue-haired friend and realized that all he felt was happiness and joy for seeing him. The usual "butterflies in the belly"-feeling just wasn't there anymore. Maybe Tala had realized inside that it would have never worked between them. Maybe he had just realized that Kai's interests seemed to be elsewhere. However it was, it was now over.
Tala had never told anyone that he liked Kai in that way. Bryan had seemed to notice anyway, though. He had always been asking these questions from Tala.
"Are you going to tell him how you feel? Do you like him a lot? Do you love him?"
Tala replied by simply refusing to talk about Kai with Bryan, mostly because he feared that talking to Bryan would end up in Kai getting a freaky phone call. Few days ago, Tala had confessed to Bryan that he didn't feel the butterflies anymore when he was with Kai, just to make Bryan stop asking all the questions. Bryan, apparently, refused to believe him. This had, yet again, been proved when they had been driving to the hotel this morning.
"Are you sure you wouldn't like to go with Kai instead of me?"
"Yes Bryan, I am sure."
"Positive?"
"Yes Bryan, just as positive as I was when you asked me the first time, and just as positive as I was when you asked me the tenth time. Could you please stop now?"
He hadn't. After the sixteenth time, Tala had snapped and asked furiously whether Bryan just somehow hated the idea of being alone with him. The other boy had glared at him and told him to stop thinking like that.
"Well in that case, are you somehow trying to pair me up with Hiwatari?" Tala had asked as accusingly as possible, hoping that it would make Bryan forget about the stupid questions. And it did... for a couple of minutes.
"Would you want me to pair you up with Kai?"
After that, Tala had told the driver to stop the car and he had moved to sit on the front seat. He told Bryan that it was for the both of their sakes.
Tala blinked. He was still standing on the handrail, and Moscow was still around him, noisy and full of lights. He could see the city spreading out in front of his eyes.
"Tala, why are you doing this?" he heard Bryan ask.
"You wouldn't understand."
He knew that it was a lie as soon as he had said it out loud. If he would have actually explained how he wanted just once to be free from everything and replace the strange hollowness inside him by playing with his own life, Bryan would have understood. After all, he had been through pretty much the same things as Tala had. Maybe Bryan was fighting with same sort of emotions from time to time too? Maybe Bryan could have even helped him to make it better? Perhaps Bryan could have told him, that there were people who cared about him and loved him and wanted to help him to make his life better. It wasn't as if Tala didn't already know that, it was just that it was nice to hear it coming from someone else. Especially from Bryan, who so seldom said stuff like that.
In a way, I guess, he really could be an ideal partner for me... Yeah, sure. If only the whole idea wouldn't be so damn ridiculous, that is. Bryan and me? Never going to happen. If only because Bryan would most likely hang himself before getting chained to a relationship with me.
Maybe it was time to get down from the parapet and let Bryan do his little "You irresponsible jackass!"-speech, Tala concluded. He tried moving his legs, which pointed out to be rather uneasy, while they seemed unwilling to move at all. He didn't even have the time to register what happened when a sudden gust of wind came, and Tala lost his balance.
There is a moment before falling, when you're not quite yet started moving but when you already know what's going to happen and that there's no way to stop it. Some people say that this moment is the very essence of ultimate freedom. To Tala, however, it was the moment of realization that he was going to die pretty painfully soon.
"Bry..." a faint whisper of shock left his lips and he started falling.
Only that he didn't.
After a few seconds of uncertainty, Tala opened up his eyes and to his relief, noticed that he was alive and still standing on the parapet. Everything was just as it had been a few minutes ago... No, wait. There was something different. Something.
Tala looked slowly down. He saw a pair of hands wrapped around his waist.
"Oh", slipped through his lips.
Bryan was holding him. No wonder he hadn't fell, then.
"When did you-"
"When you started falling."
"Oh."
The other one's voice had sounded a bit muffled. Now when he really concentrated, Tala was sure that he could feel something slightly resting against his lower back. And the hands, tightly pressing on his waist... Tala wondered whether the shirt he was wearing was too thin after all, since he could feel the heat radiating from Bryan's arms. It felt rather nice.
"I told you you should have wore more clothing. You are shaking"
It was now sure that his shirt was way too thin, he could feel Bryan's hot breath hitting his skin. A shiver went up his spine. Tala couldn't define whether it was because of the coldness, the mind-numbing fear or Bryan.
"Did you get your balance back yet?" Bryan asked in a low, raspy voice.
"Yeah..." Tala whispered, and he could feel Bryan's hands slowly starting to withdraw from his waist. The loss of warmth caused him to have a sudden moment of panic.
"Um... but... could you..?" Tala was too embarrassed to continue, but he held out his arm in a pleading manner. Bryan took the hint and gently yet firmly grabbed Tala's hand. He didn't let go even when Tala has standing right next to him and both of them had moved several feet away from the edge and the deceitful handrail.
Silence fell upon them now. Tala could just breathe and wonder whether he should mention that Bryan was still holding his hand. He decided not. After all, why should he needlessly bother the other teen?
"You fucking asshole!You could have died! Do you care about absolutely anyone except yourself? Do you think about anyone else? Hell, do you even think?"
So Bryan had started the talking. Oh, joy. Tala sighed and resisted the urge to ask Bryan to shut up and just keep holding his hand. That might have been just a bit awkward, so instead he ended up just briefly looking at the taller teen's face and then turning his gaze towards his shoes again. He hadn't seen Bryan so mad in years...
"What difference would it really make if I would have died? No, actually, let's put it this way: why do you even care?"
Tala had expected the good old "Because I'm your friend!" or, more likely when it was Bryan doing the talking, "Stop being such a woman and grow up already!". That was part of the reason why the answer he got threw him way out of guard.
"Because I don't want to die."
The randomness of the answer made Tala stop avoiding Bryan's eyes and, surprised and puzzled, he looked at the other boy, only to notice that part of the anger in other's face had been replaced with... fear? It wasn't the first time he had seen Bryan frightened - there were times in the abbey when no one could have been unafraid - but it was certainly unusual for him to let his fear show so visibly. When this happened, it was the sign that Bryan was too worried or frightened to even think about what others though, and that was always a bad sign.
"Why would my death make you die?" Tala asked, incredulously. It didn't make sense, any of it. He noticed in passing that the anger on Bryan's face had disappeared thoroughly now, there was only fear and something else. Confusion? A feeling that was rare for Bryan to feel, and even rarer for him to let it to be seen.
"Because if you had fallen down from that parapet, I would have jumped right after you."
Tala could only stare. He was mesmerized by the moment, when time itself had seemed to stop moving and whole Moscow had suddenly grown silent.
"Why?" was the only word he could come up with.
"Because I love you, Tala."
Tala's eyes flew wide open. Since he had no idea what to say and Bryan seemed reluctant to say anything more, silence fell upon them again.
Tala had been close with Bryan since the time they had been only kids, and he had witnessed Bryan going through many emotions which some other people thought the pale teen was unable to feel altogether. Had he seen Bryan angered? Certainly. Scared? Sometimes. Confused? Rarely, but yes. Embarrassed? Never until now. Tala observed that the faintly blushed cheeks and hesitant expression made Bryan look rather charming, not to mention cute, in a clumsy, boyfriend-kind of way.
And they were still holding hands.
The clouds drifted apart a bit and the moon was allowed to shine untrammelled for a second or two. In Tala's opinion, the wan glow made Bryan look even paler than usual. And yet, the moon was able to do something which the bright lights were unable to. It showed Tala Bryan's face. The redhead felt like this could have been the first time he actually, truly saw Bryan. He had always heard about miracles, how almost blind people suddenly get their vision back. He couldn't help but wonder, whether it felt something similar to this.
"Bryan", Tala said quietly, surprising himself with his sudden calmness. Bryan didn't show in any way that he had heard Tala spoke.
"Bryan, look at me", Tala ordered, a bit more sharply than he had meant to, and he instantly regretted it. The emerald eyes, cast upon the roof under their feet, seemed to get darker.
"I don't need to hear this", the boy mumbled, loosened his grip from Tala's hand and turned to leave. By instinct, Tala connected their hands again and stopped Bryan from moving any further. "What is it, now?" Bryan snarled, still refusing to look at the redhead."We need to –"
"Talk? The hell we do", Bryan snapped and tried to wriggle off from Tala's grip, without much success.
"I am not letting you go". Tala said matter-of-factly.
"Don't you think you have embarrassed me quite enough? Just let me leave, and we don't have to see each other ever again" Bryan said in a shattered voice.
"Bryan, would you please look at me?"
When Bryan stubbornly kept his stare at his shoes, Tala settled his fingers gently under Bryan's chin and lifted the other one's head so that the he was practically forced to look into Tala's aqua blue eyes. They both just stared a while. Tala felt like his courage was failing and he didn't know what to do from now on.
"Bryan..." he pleaded, begging the other one to do something while he felt unable to. He knew what he wanted to do, but he just couldn't bring himself to actually do it.
It seemed that the years spent together proved to be more useful than ever. Bryan looked at him observantly, his eyes widened a bit and, awkwardly and blushing, he wrapped his arms around Tala's waist and pulled him a bit closer. Tala smiled to the sight of blushed cheeks and nestled himself against the warm body.
"I told you to wear more clothing, didn't I?"
Tala didn't reply, just chuckled lightly and settled on smiling against Bryan's neck.
"Shame on you. You are using me", Bryan accused.
"Indeed. I am using your body heat for my own, selfish needs. Punish me?" Tala asked playfully.
"Tempt me enough and I might".
There was a moment of pondering silence.
"Bryan?" Tala asked, voice suddenly serious. Bryan tried to look at the redhead, but couldn't see his expression. He immediately seemed to think that things had been too good to be true anyway, and loosened his grip on Tala again.
"Yeah?"
"Kiss me, you fool!" Tala exclaimed theatrically, grinning wider than ever.
Bryan stared at him for a while and then rolled his eyes.
"Drama queen much?"
"Are you going to do as I asked or must I order you?"
Bryan just smiled mischievously.
"Oh, fine then! Bryan Kuznetsov, as your captain I order you to kiss me."
Bryan decided to be a good boy and do as he was told.
And in that moment, it seemed, every light in Moscow dimmed just a bit in order to let the moon shine clearer and the stars invaded the suddenly cloudless sky. Sometimes, just sometimes, the lights know when to give up.
I have to admit... I have no idea whether Bryan's eyes really are emerald-coloured or not.
And yeah, I do acknowledge that the characters are a bit (or a lot...) OOC in this.
Well, what can I say... It's much harder to actually manage to write the characters IC than OOC. It's up to you to decide whether the characters are too OOC for your own taste.
Please leave a review and do tell me what you think.