Role of a Lifetime

by xer0ss

After the play, Naota begins to reevaluate his relationships with the ladies in his life. Emphasis on Naota's musings. Rated T for language and flirtatious scenarios in later chapters. Please read and review.

Role of a Lifetime Prologue

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Disclaimer: I do not own FLCL, it is a fine GAINEX product that you should own legally and watch frequently.

Notice: This will evolve into a more intimate story between the characters up to and not limited by graphic languages and explicit activities. Rated T - for language and flirtatious scenarios.

Notes: This is the prologue chapter – you will notice it is told from the first person, subsequent chapters most likely will not be. I thoroughly enjoyed Naota's eloquence in the story prologue and soliloquies, so I'm aiming his character into more of a philosophical thinker. A lot of this story will occur in his head. This fic will have a final pairing, saying it now will most likely taint the story. This story takes place after Episode 3: Marquis de Carabas.

Read and review, all comments are read and valued. I'd like to know if I'm writing this for an audience or just for myself.

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I played the part, the part she made me play.

I wonder more each day about what I'm forced to do and who I'm forced to be. The women in my life have caused me to play other roles just as ridiculous as a cat in boots. I remember how Eri said the role was perfect for me, and too true it was. To Mamimi, I am a plush doll to relish affections on, to fill the hole my brother left when he moved, leaving her behind. To Eri, a colorful distraction from the antics of her father and whatever replacement women that is occupying his time and tabloid cover story. And to Haruko… well, I guess I'm a part time punching bag and full time marionette. She's always pulling my strings: a sweet smile to lower my guard, to watch me bumble and shyly relinquish myself to embarrassed silence, or her coy act of innocence that never fails to only increase my silent anger and hurt. How can you even like someone who is insane? I find that everyone tells me I'm quiet or a kid – but I just spend so much time in my own head trying to figure out what just happened. My life used to limp along like a glacier; nothing ever happened, nothing ever changed. But now, I'd enjoy a day that things limp along at subsonic speeds. You'd think I'd have to worry more about what's coming out of my head than going into it.

The dull school play passed into forgotten memory in just a few short days to everyone else, but my mind didn't want to let it go. It wasn't the play; the play itself was just as I imagined it - haphazardly performed, riddled with mistakes and ended with a lot more applause than deserved. Her parents showed up – she got what she wanted… they always get what they want. Haruko gets her jollies from my misery and Mamimi gets to satiate her need for companionship, but when it's all over, I'm tossed just like one of her misshapen burned out cigarettes. I have never sat down and tried to hash out what I want from all this, and in these past few days - I've started to.

School days are mundane, every lecture sounds like one I've heard before. Smoke pours from Medical Mechanica, and the landscape of the city is like my mind, clouded with a pestilent haze that seems to hang forever. Since the play, I don't think Eri has even thrown a glance my way – and I don't know why she would. Like a used up tube of toothpaste, I've been squeezed, emptied and discarded. My complete lack of surprise for the post conditions only reinforces the uniqueness of the preconditions – why me? But then again – why not, who is easier to walk on and over than me?

Home living is insane; I tiptoe in my own home for fear of what's around the corner. My guard can't even be lowered in my own room, especially in my own room – because it isn't mine anymore, it's ours'. Haruko's soft sad smile and words made my chest ache, and her catty grins and comments infuriate. But when she lays her hands on me, I can think of only the scent in the air, and her captivating eyes. I don't know what she wants with me, and I don't know what I want from her, and I don't think that either is going to change anytime soon.

The journey between is the only time I get to think, that is, if I'm not by the riverside with Mamimi. I try to think around her, or even try and get some of my school work done, since it's frivolous to even attempt at home, but being around her thickens the haze between my ears. Her tight embraces and playful kisses satiate her basest needs, and while I do enjoy the contact, I don't tell her so, and admittedly, I'm a little ashamed that they do feel so good. In my weaker moments preparing for school I smile at the love marks that adorn my neck in the mirror but gazing up and seeing my grinning face quickly quells the thought. These were meant for my brother, not for me, I'm just a teddy bear with a pulse. I am convenient for her, and one day when I'm not, she'll find a new playmate.

What is it that I want? At times I'm sure I'd be content for the world to go back to the place I thought it was - a slow dance to a silent song, a couple of steps, a couple of twirls, a few minutes later your right back where you started just a little older and a little more tired. Well this 'puss' is out, there's no going back into the little niche I fell into before Haruko, and there's no turning my mind off since the play. It's supposed to be easy to think big when you are young, but like steam that blocks the outside world from this little city, my thoughts obscure my desires.

End of Prologue

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Thanks for reading!

Please review - all comments are welcome and well received,

Xer0ss