The air was delightfully warm for such a bright summer day. The forest was abundant with vibrant colors. The shiny greens of the healthy leaves that hung onto tree branches. The calming yellows of the sunflowers. The lilacs had a light purplish hue as well as a random spattering of spots. Baby's Breath was growing by the bushel and, though there were none in sight, Laurie knew that baby rabbits couldn't be too far off, judging from the remnants of their last meal. He had just returned from college a graduate and yet the sky seemed as clear and blue as he remembered. Though the four years had been rigorous and challenging, it had only made the accomplishment that much more satisfying. Along the way he had made friends with a few good people and connections with countless others. Yes, school had been quite the adventure but it was so good to be home.
Home.
With Grandfather, and his music and the March sisters, especially...
"Teddy!" He looked up from the ground that had previously held his gaze and caught sight of a girl with long, bushy, brown hair. The sun glinted off it and formed a halo of light around her head. Her peach colored dress was old and worn with holes in various places. She wore no shoes on her feet or ribbons in her hair but he thought it made her look even lovelier. Jo March was a free spirit and that is exactly how she dressed, to show the world that she didn't care if it thought her odd or her ways eccentric. This was an individual who reveled in her uniqueness and stubborn nature. Not to be bullied or altered. She reminded him of a fire. It was futile to try and contain either of them, for once you did they lost their glow, their spark, their very essence that made you want to capture them in the first place. Both had to breathe and have space to grow. Then and only then could they truly flourish and display their true potential. Because, to this young man, there was nothing as brilliant or as captivating in the world.
She bounded towards him in with great steps and a wide grin upon her face and a fist full with a bouquet of flowers he was sure had found around the forest. Oh how he had missed her. How many times had he been studying in his dorm and slammed his textbook shut and said to himself "That's it. I'm done. I need to see her." and almost packed his bags and headed home? A hundred? Perhaps a thousand? If felt exponentially more. The only thing that kept him there was the fact that he couldn't let his grandfather down. No, he respected and loved the old man far too much to throw away the plans that had been drawn up for him. Instead he patiently waited, counting down the days until the next school holiday when he could finally go home and see the smile that never failed to take his breath away. She walked up to him and placed a chaste kiss upon his cheek and that familiar warm feeling flooded his body. "Your houseman said you wouldn't be home 'till night." She grasped his elbow and turned him in the direction she was headed in between a pair of trees that stood at almost equal height like pillars that began their walk along the familiar path to the fence side by side as equals. Not a care was given to social status or economic wealth or what was considered proper. They were just themselves, as they always were. Jo and Laurie.
"I couldn't wait so long." He answered in earnest. If only she knew how true it was, how hard it had been for him. But surely she had felt the same way. She must have the same feelings he did, EVEN if it was just inkling. How could she not? When they were together he felt like walking on air, like nothing could ever get too awful as long as Jo was there to comfort him. There would be no trial or tribulation he couldn't face if he knew she would be next to him.
"Hail the conquering graduate!" She declared with a sweeping motion of her outside hand, which held her flowers. Likewise, his held his jacket, which left their free hands in between them. Laurie briefly entertained the thought of intertwining her fingers with his, but he didn't want to rush things. No, he felt content to talk as they always had so he placed his hand in his pocket. "Is grandfather exceedingly proud?" She asked, knowing as well as he did that it had always been a dream of the old man to see his grandson a distinguished graduate. Well that and seeing him walk up to the door with his great-grandchildren, but that detail was quickly brushed aside.
"Yes, and exceedingly bent on locking me up in one of his offices. Why is it that Amy may paint china and you can scribble away while I must manfully set my music aside?" While it was true that those close to him knew of his passion for music, not a soul knew that what he wanted to do most in the world was to write music to go along with Jo's plays. They would be magnificent, truly a work of art.
"Why must you?" she questioned in typical Jo fashion, playing the Devil's advocate. He couldn't help but think how lovely she looked as she smelled her flowers and leaned against his jacket, which he had set on the fence to prevent her from further dirtying her dress. It was a futile effort really, but he couldn't help it.
"If I don't I'd have to defy Grandfather."
"Yes and not the whole of society." She quipped, as she shifted to face him. But that was her way: to voice her opinions whenever the occasion presented itself. How men shouldn't be the only ones allowed to vote or hold a respectable job. That women shouldn't be expected to stay home all their lives and happily submit to their husbands, they should be equals. He remembered one day as he was walking with Jo in town a boy had made the mistake of telling her that she was just a stupid girl and should go home and bake a pie. Well she wouldn't stand for that. She ripped him a new one, asking if he was a caveman and really believed everything that he was told? If a male teacher were to tell him that the sky was green and the grass was blue would he accept that? And if a female were to say the opposite was true would he ignore her based on the fact that she was a woman? When she felt he was thoroughly shamed she turned on her heel and with a swish of her hair was on her way. Once she was out of ear shot the boy called her a very nasty word. Now it was Laurie's turn to teach him a lesson. He grabbed the boy by the collar and asked him what he'd said. The boy had shakily replied that he had no idea what Laurie was talking about, and he had better put him down this instant. The older boy did so but not without dealing a swift blow to the bully's stomach. As he doubled over in pain, Laurie ran to catch up with Jo. When she asked what had kept him he assured her it was nothing, knowing how upset she would be if she knew he had defended her. The rest of the day passed without incident and they returned home and bade each other goodnight.
"I can't go against the old man." Jo placed a hand on his arm in a comforting way and he covered it with his own, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"When I imagine myself in-" the words seemed to get caught in his throat. But he took her hand in both of his, plucked up his courage and continued "In that life. I can think of only one thing that would make me happy." By the time he had finished he was facing her and running his fingers over the back of her hand.
"Oh, no, Teddy." He pressed a finger to her lips trying to cut off her words, but in typical Jo March fashion she would not be silenced. "Teddy doesn't." He swooped down and pressed his lips squarely on hers. An electric tingle ran through his whole body the instant they connected. Her hair was bushy and long and she smelled of the nature she had been trekking around in all day. One arm went around the back of her neck to cradle her face closer to his and the other about her waist. He was terrified when he felt her tense up, thinking she would push him away and never speak to him again. He had always been scared out of his wits that he might chase her off or alienate her, thereby ruining their friendship.
Jo.
His Jo.
But then she began to kiss him back. Her delicate hand lay flat against his chest as a flood of memories he hadn't thought about in years suddenly came rushing back.
Jo stumbling into his hiding spot where he was trying to avoid all of those proper grown-ups.
Jo begging her sisters to let him into their club. When he saw that they were still frightened, he pledged loyalty to their club, their secrets, and to each of them. Though they all seemed convinced, he would still catch Meg observing him and Jo. He hadn't understood what she was thinking at the time, but now he did. She saw what he wouldn't realize until years later. He was enamored with her sister.
Jo meeting his grandfather. He was surprised when she wasn't intimidated by him and even more surprise that she had made Grandfather laugh. Now that wasn't something he'd seen in a while.
"This is it." He thought as he felt her hand travel up to his neck. "There is no going back." He had kissed her and now he was going to lay all the cards on the table. As they pulled apart he couldn't help his heart from skipping a little excited beat.
"We have to talk about this reasonably." Was the first thing she said. He could have laughed. Reasonable? This was the two of them they were talking about. Were they ever reasonable? But instead he looked her in the eyes and decided, if they were going to have a life together, he'd have to start putting his own opinions aside. He would make any concession for this to work.
"I have loved you since the moment I clapped eyes on you. What could be more reasonable than to marry you?"
"We- we'd kill each other." As she answered her head moved from side to side. Her tone one of disbelief.
"Nonsense." He didn't believe that, not for a second.
"Neither of us can keep our temper." There was a joking lit to her voice but also a sad shine in her eyes.
"I can. Unless provoked." He insisted, ending with a smile. Okay, so they had a bit of growing up to do. But what a small price for a lifetime of happiness. Jo continued as if she hadn't even heard him.
"We're both stupidly stubborn, especially you. We'd only quarrel."
"I wouldn't!"
"You can't even propose without quarreling." They both shared a tiny chuckle at the very valid observation.
"Jo." Laurie leaned forward and she closed her eyes and braced herself in preparation for another kiss, only to have his lips land on her forehead. "Dear, Jo." He pressed their heads together and lowered his voice to a whisper. "I swear I'll be a saint. I'll let you win every argument." It made him smile to see her mouth moving ready to throw back a quick retort. However what made him truly hope was that she didn't say anything. They were already making progress. Laurie moved back a tad so they could talk face to face. "I'll take care of you. You're family." The girl sighed and looked down. He knew that that she worried about their finances and this would be a great comfort to her. "I'll give you every luxury you've ever been denied. You won't have to write," She snapped her head up and her eyes to his, silently asking if he was seriously asking her to give up what she believed to be her one true purpose in life. "Unless you want to."
"Grandfather" he paused to lick his lips "Wants me to learn the business in England. Can't you see us bashing around London?"
"London." He could detect a glimmer of excitement, before it was clouded over with doubt. "Oh Teddy I'm not fashionable enough for England. You need someone who's elegant and refined-" It made his heart heavy to hear her say such things and belittle herself so. It wouldn't change a thing because this was Jo, the best thing that had ever happened to him. Laurie cupped her face in his hands, making sure he had her attention so that she may fully understand the importance of his next words.
"I want you."
"Teddy please don't ask me."
It was then that he felt his heart shatter as it plummeted down to his feet. She was scared. No, scared was too mild a word. She was terrified. He drew back, letting her go. In that moment he knew her answer. She couldn't do it. No, she WOULDN'T. WOULDN'T marry him, WOULDN'T go to Europe with him. She didn't fell the way he felt and there was nothing he could say or do to change that. No gift, no promise and no amount of time because, if she didn't love him by now, then she surely never would. He turned away from her and leaned against the fence.
"Teddy I'm desperately sorry." His attempt to wave her off did nothing to deter her. "I do care for you-" She attempted to wrap her arms around him in a hug but, for the first time he shunned her touch.
"No." Why did she have to insist on trying to make him feel better? Why couldn't she let him grieve in peace?
"It hardly mattered," he tried to tell himself. "In a few days you'll be gone. To Europe. You'll meet hundreds of girls so much better suited to your lifestyle than some plain, silly childhood crush. In a few months' time you won't remember her name, let alone this conversation." And even as those thoughts popped into his head, he knew it would never be so.
"With all of my heart." The girl who was killing him on the inside clutched her chest as if to show that her feeling for him could barely be contained. But they were not the type of feeling he had for her. "You're my dearest friend." Her hand rest on his arm again. A gesture that he found so comforting mere minutes ago now burned his skin like a branding iron. "I just can't go be a wife." Now that, he knew was an outright lie. Something she was saying to spare his feelings. Well it was a little late for that.
"You say you won't but I know you will." Through the immense pain of his heartbreak he somehow managed a smile. True it was a rueful one, but still a smile.
"I won't. I won't." She insisted.
"One day," Teddy took several deep breaths in an attempt to slow his rapidly beating heart at the thought of Jo being happily married to another man. One that he was sure would never love her as much as he did. "You'll meet some man, a good man. And you will love him tremendously. And you will live and die for him."
Again she shook her head, insisting he was wrong. "Teddy, please-" But he cut her off. He had to finish now or he would never get the chance to say it again.
"You will." He looked at her and it didn't matter how much he was hurting or that she had rejected him, the sight of her still made him hope. Not for their future together (he'd have to be an idiot to think that they still had a chance) but for her. She might still find happiness. "I know you." His eyes were swimming with barely repressed tears he knew would overtake him soon. And so he backed away a few steps in preparation of his departure. "And I'll be hanged if I stand by and watch." He grabbed his jacket from its perch on the wooden fence and started to make his way back up the path they took. When he was so fully of hope and it was still a beautiful day. Now he knew. Knew that life was cruel. Not only had it taken his parent, left him with no siblings, deprived him of his music and would soon take his grandfather too, but it had deprived him of the one thing that he wanted more than anything in the world. The one constant in his life.
Josephine March.
