Okay, so let's clarify something... this story is NOT mine. I found it on this site not long ago, but the entire thing bugged me so much that I decided to rewrite it. Basically the original writer was writing about something they obviously knew nothing about: abuse. One thing that really bugs me is when people think they know about it but they really don't. Abuse is not just something that you can easily write about, especially not in first person. There is so much more going on then just "oh my mother beats me, but it's no big deal" No way.

So I'm rewriting the entire thing. To the author, crazyanimelover326, I'm sorry but I did send you a message asking for permision, however I have gotten no response to I have decided to post it anyway.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the writing. Gakuen Alice and all related characters belong to Higuchi Tachibana and the original plot belongs to crazyanimelover326.

The original is by crazyanimelover326 and is called Silent Abuse. Please read this one as well. You can find it on this person's profile page.

Please enjoy and comment. I would also appreciate if you could compare the two stories. Thank you

~Sunechirei

The abuse started when I was a kid, not long after my father died. I still have scars from some of the earlier days, though the emotional trauma will always be there. I didn't understand at the time what was going on, but now that I know more about life, more about death and sorrow, I have begun to understand why my mother did these things to me. However, it wasn't until I transferred to another school that I learned these things.

I was fifteen when that happened. It had been seven years after my father had died in an accident. It was my fault really. I wanted an ice cream cone, but the truck drove away before I managed to catch up to it. My father called to me, telling me that it was too late, and he would buy me one later. As I headed back to him, feeling sorry for myself, and car sped around the corner. The next thing I remember I'm sitting on the ground and my father lay in front of me, covered in blood.

The ambulance came, but it was too late. My father had died as soon as the car had hit him. My mother and I were in total shock and a police man had to drive us back to our house. It wasn't long after I got home that had it dawned on me. My father was dead, and it was my fault.

I cried myself to sleep that night.

Mom didn't talk to me for a while. Weeks passed but nothing changed between us. I went to school as normal and Mom went to work. But that changed one day. I came home with a bad grade on a spelling test. I showed it to my mom and she snapped.

"Can't you do anything right?" she screamed, slapping me across the face. I fell to the ground, completely shocked. Looking up at my mother, I saw anger blazing in her eyes. She scowled, grabbed her purse and ran out of the house.

The next few years were like a blur. I occasionally remember my mother's rages, her screaming, her violent tendencies. It was a long time before they calmed down. She was still abusive, though she didn't scream anymore. She was just cold. Very cold.

And that brings me the day the academy found me. The day that the silent abuse, began to stop.

I lay in my bed, dreading the noise that would force me to get up. Pain swelled in my arm from the previous night when I had accidentally broken a plate I was washing. The woman I thought was my mom had grabbed my arm, twisted in behind my back to the point that I could swear it was about to break before letting me go.

"Get out of my sight." she had hissed, punching me in the same arm so hard I fell backwards. I said nothing, fleeing to my room, tears running down my face. I couldn't show her my pain or my fear. I would just get hit more.

So I lay there that morning, not wanting to face my mother, but I knew I had to. I had to please her. I felt that maybe if I did, she would love me again.

The alarm next to me blared and I turned it off before she came up. Slowly, I crawled out of bed and to the bathroom. I observed my arm where I had been hit last night. A deep purple bruise ran up and down my arm, reaching about five inches from my wrist, gathering in a dark circle near my shoulder. I shuddered. It had been a while since I had been hit this badly and the bruises from other attacks were beginning to fade.

I got dressed silently, wincing as I pulled on my uniform's sweater, and headed downstairs, rubbing my arm.

Moving like a shadow, I entered the kitchen. My mother was there, sitting at the table eating her breakfast, almost as though she were a normal person. I walked passed her like she wasn't there, and she ignored me as well. Feeling the hunger in my stomach, I reached towards the basket on the table to grab and apple. It hadn't been in my hands for even a second before a steely grasp grabbed my wrist. I gasped and let go.

"I just bought those apples yesterday. Don't go dirtying them with your filthy ways. You don't deserve breakfast anyway." she let go of my wrist, grabbed the apple that I had tried to take and threw it into the trash bin. I had to bite my tongue to keep from yelling at her. "Leave." she commented coldly.

I bowed and walked out of the room towards the front door. Slipping on my shoes I headed to school, hoping that she would be in a better mood by the time I got home.

I lived a mile away from school so I had to take the bus. I didn't mind. I lived in a small town outside of Tokyo city and the scenery was absolutely stunning. It was the only thing that kept me from running away from my life.

School wasn't much better than home though. Almost no one knew of my existence, not that I minded. If I had no friends, then there would be no distractions. It was because of this that I was the top of my class. I would give no reason for mother to hit me.

It didn't work that way.

So anyway, school started out like any other day. Noisy students filed into the classroom, wasting the teachers time. The lessons were boring and the teacher seemed to care less if we learned anything. I was the only one who took notes.

My life changed that day at lunch, however, when I was called into the principal's office.

Sighing, I stood up and headed down the hall, getting crashed into by crazy boys who never seemed to notice me. When I reached the office the door opened, without me even having to knock. Expecting my mother to be there, I was shocked to see two very different people standing on either side of the principal's desk.

One seemed to be, well gay. He wore frumpy clothing and kept his blonde hair long and wild. The other wore only black except for the white half mask on his face. Both were watching me with intent, but neither said anything.

"May I help you?" I asked with uncertainty. Behind the desk the principal looked very uncomfortable but he stood up and said;

"I have been informed that you are transferring schools, is this correct?"

If I were shocked, I showed no sign. I figured that my mother had suddenly decided to make me change schools again. "This is the first that I've heard of it. Why, what's going on?" I asked quietly

"You must be Mikan Sakura!" the man with blonde hair said suddenly. "Hello, my name is Anju Narumi and I will be your homeroom teacher from now on."

"But, why haven't I heard of this..." I began.

"You will find out more later" an icy voice explained. " The school you shall be attending is called Alice Academy. I assume that you have heard of it. Your mother will be informed and you shall be picked up in four hours. Do you understand?" I didn't but I said yes anyway. Bowing, I headed out of the room and headed home.

"Why the hell are you home early?"

This was my mother's greeting when I got back from school. I swallowed nervously, unsure of how she would react to the news.

"I was sent home due to the fact that I am transferring schools." I managed to say.

"You're what?"

"I was called to the office today and told that I am going to a new school, Alice Academy. I have no idea why."

Mom was silent for a while. She stared blankly at the T.V, not seeming to understand what I had just said.

"Mom..." I called. She banged her fist on the table, causing it to shake and me to flinch. I regretted that the moment it happened. My mom saw my jump and narrowed her eyes.

"Why the flinch Mikan? Are you afraid of me?" I said nothing. "Well, are you?" still nothing. "Answer me!"

"No." I said trembling. "I'm not afraid of you."

"Then why so scared?" she stood up and walked over to me. "You have no reason to be afraid of me. In fact, it's you people should be afraid of. After all, you did kill your own father."

I couldn't move. I knew that something bad was going to happen.

"You killed your own father, the only person who could love me, the only person I loved, and now you want to leave me alone?"

"Alone? I'm going to a boarding school?"

Mom slapped me. "Of course you are! Do you know nothing of the notorious Alice Academy." she slapped me again. "I thought you were smarter than that."

I opened my mouth to respond but no sound came out.

"You are leaving me. My only child is leaving me after she killed my husband. You're such a horrible girl, Mikan. A horrible horrible-" she stopped talking and reached out towards me, a strange glint in her eye. Her cold fingers ran down my cheek and I refrained from shuddering. "Go pack." she whispered. "What ever you don't pack, don't expect to see again."

She sat back down, watching what ever was on the T.V intently. I stumbled to my room, fear blinding me. It had been a long time since she had looked to angry. I finally managed to find the handle to my room and I wretched the door open.

I wanted to cry, I needed to cry, but the tears would not come. Collapsing on my bed, I wondered what was going on, why I was being transferred, and why my mom cared so much. She hated me, and yet she didn't seem to want to me to leave.

I lay on my bed for an hour, waiting for my body to stop trembling from the fear. Eventually, I stood up again. When I didn't fall over, I reached around for my bag and began to pack. I was done in fifteen minutes.

There was nothing I really wanted. Every materialistic item in my room had been there since I was eight, since before my father died. I wanted to get rid of them, but mother was too intent on keeping everything that had been touched by my father that I feared what she would do to me if I did get rid of them.

For the next two hours I waited in my room until I heard the door bell ring. I slipped downstairs and into the front room where I saw my mother talking to Narumi.

"Oh yes, I've heard about Alice Academy. That school for geniuses, right?"

Narumi smiled. "Yes, that's the one. Your daughter's test scores were high enough that we noticed her and she got accepted. I'm sorry about the suddenness of this all though."

"Oh no, that's perfectly fine. I understand that you guys are busy."

I was amazed at how well my mother was acting. I hadn't seen her so happy in a long time, even if the happiness was all an act.

"Oh, Ms. Sakura!" Narumi suddenly exclaimed. My mother turned around instantly. I put on a false smile.

"Hello, Mr. Narumi." I greeted. He smiled at me as I walked towards the door. He took my bag from me and I turned towards my mom.

"Good-bye." I said.

"Yes, good-bye, I will see you on Sunday." Mother replied. I was shocked that she would be seeing me, but I hid it and hugged her. The hug reminded me of my childhood and for an instant I felt like I had a real mother.

"Ms. Sakura... Ms. Sakura, we are here, it's time to wake up."

My eyes shot open and I looked around confused. I was sitting in the back of a car my head leaning against the window next to me. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. Mr. Narumi was watching me happily. He reached out his hand and I took it, getting pulled gently out of the car. I glanced at the building next to me and gasped.

"This place is huge!" I murmured in shock. Mr. Narumi laughed.
"It's a government funded boarding school." he explained. "Though it's not for geniuses as we advertise." I gave him a confused look and he continued. "You see, every student in this school has a special ability of some sort. Including you."

"Special ability?" I asked.

"Yep. For instance, I can release pheromones that allow me to control people."

He must have noticed the fear that crossed through my eyes because he told me that it wouldn't affect me.

"You have the nullification alice. That's what we call them, alices." he smiled at me before continuing. "You also have a rare alice that we call the SCE, or steal, copy, erase alice. It is very valuable."

"So, I didn't come here because I'm smart?" I asked. Mr. Narumi shook his head, and for the first time in a long time, I felt special.

~%~%~%~%~%~%~

Hotaru sat at the table she shared with her two friends, Ruka and Natsume. She was fiddling with her newest invention as she waited for Narumi to come in. It was Friday, the last day of the week and something interesting was supposed to happen today.

However, the only thing remotely interesting that had happened today was when Natsume set the math teacher's desk on fire when the man was lecturing the students on proper behavior. But that was normal, and Hotaru did not like it when promises were broken.

"Hey, Imai, what are you making?" Ruka asked, trying to break the tension that tended to arise when Hotaru was angry. She smiled to herself.

"You'll find out eventually." she replied. Natsume snorted, receiving a glare from the infamous ice queen. He shrugged and continued to read his manga.

"I was afraid you'd say that." Ruka muttered. Hotaru let that comment go, continuing to work on her new project. The rest of the class was in chaos, not seeming to care that Narumi could walk in at any moment and use his alice on them. The last time that had happened, people had been unable to speak for the rest of class as they were infatuated with their stupid teacher.

Suddenly, the door burst open and the teacher walked in. Narumi looked around the class as the students scrambled to their seats.

"Well, I said that something interesting was going to happen today, and here she is!" he held his hands out towards the door and a pretty girl shuffled in. Hotaru was suddenly interested. She put down her device, startling Ruka and Natsume with the loud clunk, and observed the girl. She was wearing the winter uniform, though it was summer time, and she was wringing her hands.

"Every one, this is Mikan Sakura, your new classmate! Please welcome her." he looked down at the new member of the class. "Well Mikan, would you like to say anything?" Mikan shook her head and bowed. Narumi smiled at her. "Alright. Well then, Natsume, you are going to be her partner.

Next to Hotaru Natsume groaned. He hated being around girls as they tended to flirt with him all the time. Hotaru stifled a laugh. It wouldn't be long before the new girl fell for Natsume's looks, then things would be interesting.

~%~%~%~%~%~%~

No one left me alone on my first day at the new school. Students kept coming up to me, asking me questions, trying to be my friend. I smiled and took it all in without a complaint, though the fake smiles and forced politeness made me want to puke.

I wished that they would would have just left me alone. It was almost as if sitting in the back of the room and reading a large book was like an invitation instead of a barrier. It drove me insane. Eventually, people started to go back to their seats to work on homework or talk to their real friends and I was left alone.

That was how it should be.

That's what I told myself anyway. Getting close to people would only hurt more.

As I read, I wondered how this was going to play out. I had yet to figure out who Natsume was, but I guessed that he was very popular based on the reactions of the girls who had talked to me. They had gushed over the fact that I was the one who was partnered with him.

Play boys, another thing that made me mad.

I got about a quarter way into my book when the final bell rang. Sighing, I hurried out of the classroom, feeling as though I were constantly being watched. I didn't know it at the time, but I was being watched.

I headed outside and walked to the bus that Mr. Narumi had pointed out earlier. It took students to the town in the middle of campus, also known as Central Town.

I sat down in one of the empty seats and leaned against the window. No one was sitting near me, but I could feel their eyes on me.

"Why can't I be invisible like before?" I muttered. It wasn't fair. Before at least I could get by with only having to deal with my mom. At this school, I would have to try and hide the fact that I had been abused for many years. That would be very hard when people were always trying to talk to me, to get into my head.

When the bus pulled into the station at Central Town I was relieved to see that there were a lot of people there. It was easier to disappear into a crowd. I slipped off the bus and began to walk around the interesting little town.

There were shops of all kinds around, big ones, small ones, some that sold food, and others clothing. I walked around, amazed that such a place could exist in a school campus.

As I walked, I noticed a fancy looking shop. I grinned when I recognized the place.

It was a branch of my aunt's shop, Sexy Sweety, a place where I could get free sweaters and other clothing to hide my healing bruises and cuts. My mom had refrained from attacking my legs as all of my uniforms had required a skirt so I didn't need to worry about my legs, but the rest of my body...

I walked in and looked around. It was very crowded in the shop and I recognized some girls from my class. I walked around, weaving in and out of people to try and avoid them.

"Is there any way I can help you Miss?" I heard behind me. Shocked, I turned around and came to face to face with a sales person.

"Um... well I'm actually wondering if Kiyoko Sakura was here?"

"I'm sorry, but Ms. Sakura hardly ever comes to this branch. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

I glanced around uncertainly. "Well, you see, I'm her niece so..."

"Really? That's pretty amazing!" the woman said. I gave her a strange look.

"Don't you want proof?"

"Not really. I thought that you were Mikan when I saw you come in here. Ms. Sakura has many pictures of you in her offices." I smiled at her.

"Can you take me to the back then? I Kinda want to look for a few things."

"But of course! Come, come!" she led me into the back of the store. My aunt knew nothing about her sister's abusive tendencies but she loved to give me free things. I always felt guilty when I took advantage of this, but it always made her happy so I kept doing it. One less person to worry about.

Two hours later, I was back on the bus, heading to the dorms with a bag of new clothes. I had left almost all of my old ones back home as they reminded me of my mother. I was feeling quite content by what I had been able to pull of that day.

It was dark by the time the bus stopped. I got out of it and headed towards my room that was located on the fourth floor. Mr. Narumi had told me that only students with the special status were allowed to live on this floor. I didn't quite understand why I was in this group of people but I didn't want to complain.

I opened the door and marveled at the size of my new room. It was much larger and better furnished than my room back home. I dropped all of my stuff and collapsed onto my new bed. It was so soft I felt as though I were on a bed of fresh snow, though it wasn't quite as cold.

In an instant I was asleep.

~%~%~%~%~%~%~

"Imai, your obsession with this new girl is kinda creepy... what's with you?" Ruka asked. Hotaru looked at him but said nothing. She was interested in this girl because the peculiar and she was hiding something. Hotaru loved to find out people's secrets.

"Imai?"

"Shut up."

Hotaru had forced Ruka, much to his displeasure, to come with her while she stalked Mikan through Central Town. She had discovered many thing about her. For instance, she was rich, a famous woman's niece, she was in the special rank, and she never showed skin above the knees.

"If she has all of these things going for her, why is she so antisocial, and what is her secret?"

"Uh, probably that she is rich, has a famous aunt and is in the special rank."

Hotaru reached over and smacked Ruka upside the head. "Are you an idiot? I didn't mean those things. She is hiding something else and I want to know what it is."

Ruka rubbed his head and sat down on the bench near the entrance to the dorms, pouting.

"Look, I'm really tired and there is nothing else we can do tonight. Can I go back to my dorm?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because I said so."

"Goodnight Imai."

Ruka stood up and walked back to the boys dorms leaving Hotaru standing alone.

"What are you hiding from me?" Hotaru muttered to herself before walking into the building herself.

~%~%~%~%~%~%~

I stood at the entrance to my room, waiting for my mom to come. It was Sunday and my mother had promised to come and visit. I hoped that she would be happy to see me, but I didn't get my hopes up.

"Mikan?" I heard someone call. I looked aver and saw Mom standing there. I was surprised at my joy when I saw her.

"Mom... Mom how are you?" I asked. I never could describe the feeling I had at that moment, but it didn't last long.

"You... how could you do this to me?" she whispered. I stepped back.

"What?"

"You left me, you went to this school. You left me. Now I am alone. And I have all of these bills to pay from your new school." she stepped towards me, her entire body trembling from rage. She reached forward and grabbed my already injured arm. I cringed from pain and she dragged me into my room.

I was then thrown onto the floor and my mom stepped on me to get to the other side of my room.

"You are so spoiled Mikan." she said distantly. "So spoiled. I can't believe we are related in anyway. I'm so ashamed that you are my daughter."

I began to stand up. My mother heard me and turned swiftly, kicking me back down on the ground.

"Don't you dare..."

She began to walk around my room again touching things, pushing things around.

"So, while you are living in this wonderful place, I'm stuck all alone in that dreary house, and it's all your fault."

I froze up on the ground. My voice became lost in my throat and I felt tears welling up in my eyes. Why they were there I couldn't tell. It was either because of the excruciating pain that was spreading through my stomach, or the fear that filled my entire body.

"Well, what do you have to say for yourself?"

I still couldn't speak. This did not make my mother happy. She grabbed a chunk of my hair and lifted me into the air. I could do nothing to stop it.

"No answer? Well I expect one next week when I come again." she let me go and I slumped on the ground. I didn't hear her leave, but I knew she was gone. I began sobbing.

The tears wouldn't stop this time. I don't even know how long I had been crying before I finally calmed down.

I stood up shakily, heading into the bath room and turning on the shower. I didn't even take of my clothes before climbing beneath the ice cold water. I sat on the tiled floor, staring blankly at the wall.

"Somebody save me."

~%~%~%~%~%~%~

Natsume listened carefully to what Hotaru was telling him. He had already known that the new girl was weird, but what Hotaru was saying was even more shocking. She had discovered many things about Mikan, though she still felt as though the girl was hiding something from them.

"That's all I've been able to find out." Hotaru finished after about ten minutes of lecturing.

"That girl is really weird." Ruka added. "I mean, she hardly knows of your existence Natsume and yet you are the most popular guy in our class and you're her partner."

Natsume nodded. He had run into the girl a few times before and she had completely ignored him. It also didn't help that no one knew what her alice was. Koko didn't seem to be able to read her mind and she wasn't talking to anyone. It was bugging him, though not as much as it did Hotaru.

Neither Natsume nor Ruka had ever seen Hotaru this interested in someone and the three of them had been friends since elementary school.

"Do you guys have any idea what she might be hiding?" Natsume asked. Hotaru and Ruka both shook their heads and Natsume sighed. This girl was good at hiding things if no one even had a clue as to what she was hiding from them.

"I will find out." Hotaru vowed. "There is no way that girl can keep these things from me for too long."

"Maybe something will happen tomorrow in our split classes." Ruka suggested. "She's in the special abilities class, right? Well we will just have to follow her somehow."

The three students looked at each other and nodded.

They need a plan to get Mikan's secrets out, one that would work.