An Angst Drabble by Father Hulk
Tears fell endlessly onto the floor; Eric Cartman's gut heaved with each choking sob. He got up and began to bash his head against the wall with hurricane force; he didn't care anymore. He looked over at the kitchen table: there was a knife there. A very sharp knife. Maybe if he inflicted horrible pain unto himself, he'd forget that his life was over. With tears flowing like rivers, he walked towards the blade.
"You guys, you guys!" Kenny McCormick calls as he runs up to his friends, Stan and Kyle. "You have to come quick!"
"What's the matter, Kenny?" Stan asks, dropping the snowball he was preparing to throw.
"It's Eric! He's like, super-duper-duper-duper depressed and he's been talking about suicide and drinking motor oil and all sorts of mean nasty ugly things! You gotta help him!"
"Oh God," Kyle said, immediately worried. "I've seen him get depressed before, but he's never talked about suicide. Come on, Stan." He begins jogging towards 21208 East Bonanza Circle.
They arrived just instants before Eric began to give himself a cut on his arm.
"Dude! What are you doing?" Kyle cried, wide-eyed. He bolted to where Eric was standing and swatted the knife from his hand. "What is the matter with you?"
But Eric couldn't answer: he was crying too much.
"Dude… this looks serious," Stan said to Kyle with concern.
Kyle's expression softened. "Cartman… I know I don't say this much but, I hate to see you upset. And, not only because it often leads to us nearly getting killed. Tell me what's wrong."
Eric opened his eyes, which were all puffy and red, and gazed into Kyles'. Then he took Kyle by the hand and led him into the living room, where the TV was currently tuned to CNN.
"What's this?" Kyle asked, confused.
"L-l-look," Eric sputtered, before collapsing in tears again.
Stan turned the volume up just in time to hear the anchor say, "…And once again this does mark the filing of Chapter 11 for Faber Foods, the parent company for such products as Snacky Cakes, Cheesy Poofs, and General Gordo's Chocolate Chicken Pot Pies. The CFO for the company said there was no chance of recovery, and that…"
But Kyle didn't need to hear anymore. He glared at Eric for several moments, muttered, "God damn it…" and walked out.