"Doctor this game isn't fair, you probably know every constellation in the galaxy." Amy complained to the time lord. As the eleventh Doctor, Rory, and herself sat in the doorway of the tardis naming constellations they saw in the dying beams of light that twinkled in the sky.
"Amy be reasonable here," Rory told her.
"Thank you, Rory." The Doctor smiled believing the groom was on his side.
"He knows all the constellations in this galaxy and the next one over." Rory finished gesturing out the tardis door to the right.
"Oi! Not you too!" The Doctor complained to Rory as Amy laughed brightly leaning over to her husband to plant a kiss on Rory's cheek. "Oh, don't start pond." The Doctor grumbled feeling his cheeks heat up.
"You're going to have to deal with it doctor. That's what happens when your companions are a couple." Amy replied.
"Don't act so smug. Your not the first couple I've brought aboard my ship." The Doctor replied looking up at the sky as he reminisced.
"So, you've third wheeled before?" Amy questioned, her eye brows shooting up in surprise.
"Oh, I've third wheeled, cart wheeled, stole the girl, and still had time to save the whole entire universe before brunch." The Doctor revealed with a wave of his hands.
"Wait what? You stole some bloke's girl?" Rory asked not following any of that his eye brows raised wrapping an arm around Amy's waist just for good measure.
"Well, yes and no, she left him for me I suppose and well we wanted to be together, but the universe decided otherwise. Anyways she's gone now." The Doctor sighed fiddling with his bow tie as he thought back to the woman who stole not just one, but both of his hearts.
"I'm sorry, Doctor." Amy apologized assuming the worst.
"What? Oh! No, no, no, she isn't dead. What is it with you humans and always assuming someone's died? She is completely fine, she's just...somewhere I can't get to her." The Doctor explained a brief smile on his face before it faded as he said the last part of his sentence.
"Somewhere you can't go? But you've got a bloody tardis. It travels through time and space. How can there be somewhere you can't go?" Amy pressed not understanding.
"It can travel through space and time, but parallel dimensions, those are...those are tricky." The doctor elaborated.
"Hang on, Parallel dimensions, as in other worlds identical to our own? Those actually exist?" Rory questioned.
"Yeah, though there are variations to them, they exist, traveling between them is just rather impossible, even for me."
"But-" Amy tried to protest not wanting to accept that her raggedy Doctor was unable to do something.
"Could we get back to the game pond?" The Doctor asked his heart's now aching as he wished for Rose to be with him again. To see her breathtaking smile, or to just feel her hand in his. What he wouldn't give for a chance to hold her hand.
"Of course uh Rory I think it's your turn." Amy said nudging her husband.
"Oh right yeah my turn, okay uh...I see a Rose." Rory said pointing to a constellation of a rose in the sky. The Doctor groaned rubbing at his eyes.
"Doctor?" Amy questioned in concern.
"Out of all the constellations here you pick that one, well done Rory, man of the hour." The doctor shook his head a bit trying to look away from the rose that Rory had pointed out, but he couldn't. It was one of the most beautiful constellations he had ever laid eyes on all because it shared her name.
"What did I do?" Rory whispered to Amy in confusion as the Doctor clearly zoned out into his own little world gazing at the Rose constellation the sadness and longing clear as day in his ancient eyes.
"I don't know, maybe she liked roses?" Amy guessed.
"You better go, it's best we help him keep his mind off whatever it is that's bothering him." Rory muttered.
"Alright! My turn doctor...I see...a wolf." Amy nodded to the sky in the direction of the wolf constellation.
"What? Did you just say bad wolf?" The doctor questioned his eyes widening a bit. The doctor jumping up not even giving Amy time to respond as the doctor swung himself outside the tardis.
"Doctor!" Amy yelled in worry. "Oh my god what are you doing!?"
"Getting a better look!" The doctor replied as he clung to the tardis's side climbing up to it's top slowly standing. The oxygen bubble expanding so he could breathe.
"That isn't safe, Doctor, get back in the ship." Rory ordered as Amy hugged him tightly
"Like I'd take orders from you. It's my ship I can do what I like." The Doctor replied running a hand through his hair his eyes darting from constellation to constellation. A wolf and Rose constellation in the same place? Was it just coincidence? Possibly, but a timelord could hope.
It had been so long since he had allowed himself to hope for a way to get back to her. Was it selfish for him to search for her now after he had all but abandoned her with that clone? He still wasn't quite sure what he had whispered in her ear, but it had to be something that warranted a kiss.
Amy sighed, "Just be careful then, I can't have you falling off the top and floating away in space."
"Whatever, you say pond. Now hush, I need to search." The Doctor commanded his mind working a million miles a minute.
"Search for what? There's nothing out here! You said that yourself earlier." Rory objected.
"Exactly! But that's just what we're supposed to think..." The Doctor trailed off digging around in his bigger on the inside pockets. "Oh, I need...I need...haha yes!"The Doctor cheered to himself as he found his old 3d glasses quickly putting them on spinning around in a circle as he searched for a sign.
"Come on universe, come on. Just this once, just this one time, be on my side. Haven't I done enough for you? I lost my world, my family, my friends, all to save you! Time and time again I have protected you from harm. If I can have one thing back, just one, then please, please just let it be her." The Doctor pleaded as he searched fruitlessly across the stars. When he found no signs of any void stuff he dropped to his knees the clang of his knees connecting with the tardis's exterior echoing back down to Amy and Rory.
"Doctor, are you alright!?" Amy called out of worry Rory's arms wrapped securely around her waist preventing her from trying to scale the tardis as the Doctor had and hug the timelord tight.
The Doctor didn't reply. He couldn't bring himself to. He had been daft just then letting himself hope for Rose to return or hoping for a way to get to her. Now the ache he felt in both his hearts had returned full force and it was crippling. Tearing the 3d glasses off his face tears gathering in his eyes he pounded his fist against the tardis's roof. "It's not fair!" The doctor screamed out rage mixing with his sadness.
"Doctor, please just calm down. Whatever it is your looking for we can help!" Amy called, worry she held for the timelord seeping into her voice unable to keep it hidden.
"Help!? Help!? You can't help, you can't do anything!" The doctor snapped leaping up poor poor Amelia Pond about to be on the receiving end of the fury of a time lord scorned as the Doctor gripped the top of the tardis doorway swinging himself back inside his tardis landing just a few steps away.
"Doctor-" Amy tried to protest, but he cut her off before she could even make her plea.
"Don't Doctor me! Not now." The Doctor all but growled. "Not when it's your fault."
"What? Hang on-" Rory started to object his eye brows drawing together. How was this Amy's fault? She hadn't done anything.
"Shut up, it's your fault too." The Doctor ordered the blonde who snapped his mouth closed looking indignant.
"Do you know how long it's been? How long I've been forced to travel without her? Do you know why I can't see it anymore, Amelia?" The Doctor pressed on.
"See what?" Amy asked softly the look in the Doctor's eyes scaring her to pieces making her want to grab Rory and run and hide.
"The beauty of the universe." The Doctor answered as if it were obvious. Amelia's mouth dropped open, but no words came out. How could she respond to something like that?
"I'll tell you why pond. It's because she's not here! She's not where she's supposed to be, she's not with me and without her...without her everything is boring and dull and you and Rory were supposed to fix that for me, but all the two of you are doing is making it worse!" The Doctor snapped his voice raised.
"I'm sorry. We didn't-" Amy told the timelord as Rory hugged her a bit tighter.
"Know? How could you? You're so...so human. Just like her." The Doctor said with a small shake of his head running his hand through his hair. He took one last longing look at the rose and wolf constellation before shutting the tardis doors with a resounding click the noise echoing throughout the all too silent tardis. The Doctor's finger's hovering over the lock.
"Doctor?" Amy asked softly.
"I'm tired of games, Amelia. My hearts they just can't take it anymore. Everywhere I look there's something reminding me of her." The Doctor sighed striding passed the still startled couple.
"Where are you going?" Amy asked.
"Where I always go in the end. To be alone." The Doctor replied storming off away from the console room leaving behind a concerned set of companions.
The Doctor walked the halls of the tardis with no real destination in mind. He just wandered aimlessly memories of Rose filling his head. He tried to push them out and suppress them down, but trying to forget Rose Tyler was like trying to forget Gallifrey. He couldn't, he just couldn't. She was too important, the first spark of light that he had ever saw after the darkness of the time war.
He finally stopped his walk when he came to a door. Her door to be specific, and behind that door was all her things that she had left behind. Things that allowed him to imagine that perhaps one day when he opened that door she would be on the other side. The Doctor took a shaky breath closing his eyes.
"She won't be there, she's never there, don't open it, don't bother, it'll only hurt." The Doctor tried to tell himself attempting to dissuade himself from opening the door, but it was no use he couldn't resist. Without another moment to dwell he opened the door slipping inside the room.
It was just as she had left it. Nothing touched or moved and not a spec of dust in sight, but as anticipated there was no Rose Tyler to be seen. He sighed leaning back against the door.
"Why can't I just move on, eh?" The Doctor asked the open air sinking down to the floor.
The Doctor hung his head and closed his eyes then started speaking to the empty room.
"I've regenerated, and your off with some me who's not me and I'm not even the me that you knew anymore, but I still can't get over you." The Doctor spoke. He wasn't entirely sure how long he kept his eyes closed just sitting there with his back resting against the door. It could have been seconds, minutes, perhaps even hours the doctor couldn't be sure.
"So, does that mean you'll let me stay?." An all too familiar voice chimed. The Doctor's eyes snapped open, his jaw dropping at what he saw.
Rose Tyler. Rose Tyler in the room a few feet away from him sitting on her bed.
He gawked at her. He couldn't believe his eyes. "What?" He breathed.
She gave a little wave pushing a strand of tousled blonde hair out of her face.
"What?" The Doctor repeated a little louder his hearts practically beating out of his chest.
"Hello." She smiled at him.
"What!?" The Doctor cried.
And that's the end of chapter 1! Stay tuned for ch 2! And don't forget to comment!