Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!
AN: This is a companion to 'Brought Me You.' It is in Edward's pov this time around.
"Have you ever wondered how things turned out this way?" Leah rested with her head on my shoulder.
My musician fingers running through her silky black locks. We lay on my recently acquired king size bed. My arm resting comfortably on her lower back and the other caressing her soft hair. The she wolf was positioned so her body lay atop mine. Not that her wieght felt no heavier than that of a feather. Our legs tangled together as the silk sheet caressed any skin it touched.
Tilting my head to stare at the top of her head I decided to take a sneak peak into her thoughts. Usually I would try to block her out because I knew everyone deserved privacy especially my Leah. She shared her mind with a pack of wolves on a daily basis so the least I could do as her boyfriend was try to close my mind to hers.
Only during moments such as these would I ever dare to read her thoughts. Does that make me a necropheliac? I mean he is alive in a sense of the word. He breathes even though it isn't nessasary for his survival. He eats animals in order to stay alive, or rather stay dead, or ugh! I'm getting a headache trying to define wether my boyfriend is alive or not. Who in there right mind does something like this? Only Leah Clearwater who is me or she I mean.
Try as I might I could not hold back a grin and light chuckle. How random my girlfriend could be sometimes. Her thoughts could always serve to either confuse or amuse me. This time amusement won out. "How do your thoughts not give you a headache?"
Narrowing her eyes she tried to send a deadly glare in my direction but when it did not get the reaction she had been hoping for she chose to stick her tongue out and attempt to create an expression I should find funny. "The reason my thoughts bother you is because you are just not as cool as I am!"
Since laughter would only piss her off I tried with all my strength to hold in my laughter. The edges of my lips twitched and I could Leah had seen the expression on my face for her eyes narrowed and heat filled her cheeks. My amusement turned to happiness and my eyes softened slightly. She could be so cute when suffering from embarrassment. Maybe that is why I teased her so often.
"Of course Leah I understand now. Your just that cool yes?" I replied in a placating tone. My fingers continued to stroke her hair and down her shoulder.
Leah nodded enthusiastically. "Damn straight I am!"
Silence filled the room and I settled back into our previous comfortable position. She had gone back to her strange thoughts this time calling me her vampire. In some ways it made me think of myself as a pet but then again out of the two us of she is the one who turned into a canine.
Hmm, perhaps I should get her collar with diamonds and her name engraved? Men would leave her alone then when they realized she belonged to me. It became exausting at times having to keep reminding men, no boys, that the shifter female was mine. I'd managed to scare a few off easily enough but others were very insistant like Mike Newton for example.
That boy always did want what belonged to me. So all in all the collar seemed like a brilliant thought since I knew even Mike would be able to read the words I would put on the leather collar. Now as I think about it I will go out tomorrow and arrange for it to be special made and shipped here ASAP. I could claim it to be nothing more than an aniversary gift. She would never have to know it was my way of showing everyone she belonged to Edward Cullen.
Tuning back into her thoughts I managed to catch the tail end of her comparing me to a tomato and tamato. She wanted know if I am the tomato or tamato of our relationship. This time I could not hold back my laughters. My chest shook from the action. I could see the heat creep ever deeper into my shifters skin.
"In all my years on this earth I have never met someone with a mind similiar to yours."I paused and the native shifter raised her eyebrow in indication for me to continue. "I've told you before how I beleived my mind reading would never allow me to find love and completeness with another person. I had been certian I would live my existance alone until the earth was nothing but ash and humans a mere memory."
My brow furrowed when Leah tensed in my arms. Anxiety rolled off her thoughts and I couldn't for the undead life of me understand why. Had I said something to frighten her? I retraced my words in my head and nothing seemed to scream wrong thing to say. I waited for her to say something. Anything to hint as to why she had suddenly become so rigid.
"That was all BB though." Her words were barely a whisper.
"BB?" I questioned feeling very silly. Was this some kind of joke I did not understand? Maybe BB stood for some new hip saying kids were saying these days. When had 'cool' and 'da bomb' gone out of style?
The worry I felt tripled when my she wolf looked away from my face. Her eyes going to the quilt we rested on. "Before Bella."
As soon as she spoke the words I had my answer. I knew that Leah would never feel comfortable with me as long as Bella's ghost haunted our memories. She beleived I loved Bella even though my ex lover was now dead. Leah thought the only reason I was with her was because Bella no longer existed. Like if the other girl still lived I would never have fallen for the she wolf.
My wolf girl made it very clear she felt no pity for Bella and the death she brought on herself. She felt for Charlie because he lost his only child but never would she shed a tear for the klutzy human girl. My girlfriend beleived Bella brought her death on herself and had deserved nothing less. She told me time and time again Bella was nothing more than a selfish bitch whose selfish nature finally ended up being her own undoing.
You see when Bella finally made her choice between Jacob and I things had been set in stone or so I had thought. The wedding plans went by without a hitch and each day I became more confident that Bella was indeed the one for me. Then to my suprise and hurt she decided I was not good enough. She told me that when she found out I was vampire she thought I would be more like the Volturi. In fact she had hoped for it.
When she realized I was not what she expected she tried to change me. The whole papercut to tempt Jasper was actually a ploy ment to tempt me. She'd been hoping I would loose control and bite her. Knowing she had decieved me in such a way hurt more than her actual leaving.
The day she walked away to push herself into the arms of Alec Volturi became the day she died in my opinion. I knew it would not be long before her death. I did not think for one second Aro would turn her. The Volturi leader hated people who decieved him and couldn't make one choice and stick to it. Because of this I had known Bella would be dead in a matter of weeks and I had been right.
While it hurt knowing she was gone forever a part of me was releived. I really had not wanted to turn her. The only reason I agreed to it in the first place was so she would stop trying to pressure me. You can only say no for so long before they need a real reason and I had none. The only thing I could tell her would've been it did not feel right to me. When I thought of the future I couldn't picture it being with her even if Alice had seen it.
When my girl wolf remained silent I lifted her chin with my fingers. I forced her to meet my eyes. She needed to see the sincerity of everything I am about to tell her. So many times recently since we've gotten closer I have told Leah Bella ment nothing to me anymore. The feelings I may have once carried for the human did not and would not ever measure up anywhere near the hieght of my love for Leah herself. I needed her to accept this.
When I opened my mouth to speak I wasn't at all suprised to hear the slight urgency in my tone. The small amount of pain which seeped out when I made a statement of fact though did send suprise coursing through my veins. "You doubt my love for you because of her."
"Tell me why I shouldn't Edward? Should I pity her? Should I cry because she was a whore who wanted it all and couldn't be happy with what she had?" The pitch of her words rose with each word when more emotion began to show. "If she was still alive would you even be with me? You tell me you love me and I'm your life but that's because she isn't around right? I am a good replacement but I can never be the real thing? Never good enough but I'll do."
Stabbing pain entered my heart at her words. To think she could ever truly beleive that I would- that I could- did she not understand the only reason I payed respects to Bella was because in the end it was Bella who brought Leah into my life.
If it had not been for leaving I never would've had the chance to really see Leah. My bloodlust I'd mistaken for love had blinded me to my true reason for existing. Blinded me to my other half. To the wolf girl who made me whole.
Stunned by the images flying in my mind from Leah's own thoughts I was paralyzed and therefore could not move to stop her when she rose from the bed wiping tears from her russet skin. The only thing I could accomplish at the moment was to lay there and listen to her thoughts. Thoughts which tore up my soul if I had one I mean.
The love of my life beleived she was only a consolation prize. She thought that I chose her only since I could no longer have Bella. She truly thought that if Isabella Swan were still around I would of never even gave her a second glance. If my ex were here would she still be stuck in La Push with a broken heart my shifter wondered?
Leah knew she should be happy knowing in the end she had me. My girlfriend battled with herself constantly over the fact of would she rather Bella be alive so she could be one hundred percent sure I loved her or could she simply be content knowing she had me. I am now hers and it is not likely to change ever.
"Leah don't you dare think like that!" I snapped jumping out of bed once my head cleared enough. I jumped infront of her blocking her escape route to the door of the the bedroom. Grabbing her face in my hands I tried to keep the desperation from my voice. "Look into my eyes Leah. I love you and do you want to know why I do not hate Bella?"
Jealousy sliced into her next words. Her eyes darkened to an almost black. Rage controlled most the features on her face by this time. "Why? Because she was so sweet and perfect?"
"No my little wolf." I stated while rubbing the pad of my thumb along the outline of her right cheekbone. "I do not hate her because she allowed me to feel emotion. If I thought I loved her," I paused to take the time rub my nose against hers affectionately. She had a thing for eskimo kisses. "It does not compare to my feelings for you. I don't hate Bella because she gave me the best gift of all."
Leah's face shatters like a mirror at my words and I realize she took them the opposite of how I ment them. Hurrying along I added the only thing I could think of which would cause her to understand. "She brought me to you. What more could I ask for?"
My she wolf raised her eyes to meet mine and I pressed my lips to her softly. It may have taken her a while but now I knew without a doubt she finally got the message I'd been trying to send her.
I held no hate in my heart for Isabella Swan because though not purposely she had given me Leah. She'd given a reason to go on living. She had shown me love but not my love for Bella herself instead love for Leah Clearwater.
THE END!
AN: A reviewer wanted to know if I could write a companion to 'Brought Me You" in Edward's point of view so I did. I am not sure if it is the greatest but it is alright I guess. Anyways let me know what you thought about this.
If any of you have requests for one-shots send them in and I will do my best to write them if they seem like something I would be interested in doing. I will try to write all of them but remember I have lots of stories in the works so they could take a while.
Please R&R like always!