Standing in the Shadows
I can't sleep. Will I ever go to sleep without having to be physically exhausted? Even if I do sleep, what will I dream of? Death and pain, that's what I'll see behind my eyes. A young martyr, betrayed and broken, being burnt alive. A fallen empress silently watching her lover die as poison does her damage. A supposed goddess who can only die a lonely, mortal death. Whatever happened to "Beautiful dreamer, beautiful dreams"? I wasn't that hideous last I checked. In fact, I thought I looked pretty good. I'm sure many would agree, especially he who is hidden in the shadows. Sure, I can't see him, but I know he's there. With his hands behind his back in his usual servant pose. Except his head isn't bowed and his eyes aren't staring at the ground. His eyes are on me. Like they are on me in what he refers to as "unguarded moments". Moments in which he is compelled to tell me he loves and that it kills him. Killing Nottingham. At times, I wonder if that is such a bad idea. The guy definitely wants release from this life. After being in Iron's employ, who wouldn't? He also is a known assassin and I would most likely be saving lives. Who would miss him? As much as it hurts my pride to say this, in reality, I would. Miss the feeling of warmth and protection he provides. I know he was probably originally ordered to kill me, but he's never even come close to such a task, despite our fights. Winds blowing hard tonight. He must be freezing to death out there. Why does he go through all this? Is there some award going to him for his troubles? I could always invite him in. Or would that be encouraging my stalker? Besides, what would we say to each other? What does a cop and a criminal really have to talk about? Still.No! I can't let him in, or else I doubt I could let him back out. To be alone. No arms to hold me or words to whisper reassurance. Damn, when did I go from home to heart? Even if I did give him a chance, how would we deal with the rest of the world? Irons, sure as hell, wouldn't stand for it. Would Irons want us both dead, or just him? How would I explain to Jake that I am with a professional killer? The white bulls would give us no rest and would now be after both of us. He could be killed because of me. Killed, just like John was. It's not the right time. At least I finally feel the time of sleep upon me. I'm too tired to even get out of bed now. Sorry Nottingham. Looks like you're gonna have to stay in the shadows. At least for now. You'll live. Your patience seems more enduring than mine. Damn time. I know you're in darkness, but please bear with me. Because even in darkness, there's light.
The End
I can't sleep. Will I ever go to sleep without having to be physically exhausted? Even if I do sleep, what will I dream of? Death and pain, that's what I'll see behind my eyes. A young martyr, betrayed and broken, being burnt alive. A fallen empress silently watching her lover die as poison does her damage. A supposed goddess who can only die a lonely, mortal death. Whatever happened to "Beautiful dreamer, beautiful dreams"? I wasn't that hideous last I checked. In fact, I thought I looked pretty good. I'm sure many would agree, especially he who is hidden in the shadows. Sure, I can't see him, but I know he's there. With his hands behind his back in his usual servant pose. Except his head isn't bowed and his eyes aren't staring at the ground. His eyes are on me. Like they are on me in what he refers to as "unguarded moments". Moments in which he is compelled to tell me he loves and that it kills him. Killing Nottingham. At times, I wonder if that is such a bad idea. The guy definitely wants release from this life. After being in Iron's employ, who wouldn't? He also is a known assassin and I would most likely be saving lives. Who would miss him? As much as it hurts my pride to say this, in reality, I would. Miss the feeling of warmth and protection he provides. I know he was probably originally ordered to kill me, but he's never even come close to such a task, despite our fights. Winds blowing hard tonight. He must be freezing to death out there. Why does he go through all this? Is there some award going to him for his troubles? I could always invite him in. Or would that be encouraging my stalker? Besides, what would we say to each other? What does a cop and a criminal really have to talk about? Still.No! I can't let him in, or else I doubt I could let him back out. To be alone. No arms to hold me or words to whisper reassurance. Damn, when did I go from home to heart? Even if I did give him a chance, how would we deal with the rest of the world? Irons, sure as hell, wouldn't stand for it. Would Irons want us both dead, or just him? How would I explain to Jake that I am with a professional killer? The white bulls would give us no rest and would now be after both of us. He could be killed because of me. Killed, just like John was. It's not the right time. At least I finally feel the time of sleep upon me. I'm too tired to even get out of bed now. Sorry Nottingham. Looks like you're gonna have to stay in the shadows. At least for now. You'll live. Your patience seems more enduring than mine. Damn time. I know you're in darkness, but please bear with me. Because even in darkness, there's light.
The End