AN: Look. I don't know. Okay? I just don't know.
Based off the Mistletoe series. So probably-definitely-totes noncanon. Warning for violence and suicide.
The first time Rin saw the princess, she was a mere child, but she was awestruck.
Princess Miku, avatar of the blue bird, was the most beautiful woman Rin had ever seen. She held her head high, regally, magnificently, her large teal eyes staring forwards as she walked forwards. Her ceremonial robes dragged behind her.
Rin didn't know what to do. She stared after her, as the royal procession proceeded.
She wanted...she wanted to know that girl, that girl who was beautiful beyond all belief. And she wanted to know the noble princess, who smiled at her subjects with a face that was kind and beautiful.
Gumi giggled, and Rin was startled out of her trance-like state.
The next time that Rin saw the queen, she was terrified.
As a servant to the queen, she didn't know what she was to do. She simply stood in the doorway, terrified.
Queen Miku looked at her with eyes that seemed as deep and cryptic as the sea. "You're...Rin?"
Rin nearly fainted, but she nodded. "Y-Yes, your majesty..."
She turned away, with a cold stare.
Queen Miku was kind to all of the others. Maidservants, nobles...even foreign royalty.
But to Rin, she...did not care. She was her Majesty's lady in waiting, but...
She was cold. She spread rumors, cruel ones. She did not look at her.
It came to a head when her Majesty was in her rooms, and had gone off to talk with someone.
Rin had followed her.
"Ah...your majesty? D-Do you need anything?"
"...do I need anything?"
Her queen's teeth ground, and Rin could hear them.
"DO I NEED ANYTHING!?"
She whipped around, tears glistening on her perfect cheeks. The queen brought back one ivory hand, nails decorated perfectly with teal enamel, and slapped Rin.
The slap was hard, and the golden rings on the hand worsened the impact. It knocked Rin backwards, blood running down her cheek.
"Y-Your majesty..."
The Queen's tears were flowing freely now.
"Why are you crying?"
The kingdom was on the brink of war.
Everyone knew that.
Her Majesty was involved in peace talks with King Kaito, but...Rin knew that there was a war brewing. Everyone did.
Of course, as her lady's maid, it was Rin's duty to arrange her hair. As she brushed the silky teal locks, she saw the queen's face relaxed.
The anger she showed around Rin didn't look like that. Her polite smile didn't look like that.
She looked...sad. Tired. Sad.
"...your majesty. Have you been feeling well?"
She was silent.
After Queen Miku had hit her, she had never spoken of it again. She had not been as cold.
Rin cared about Queen Miku. She worried about her. She...
Rin loved her, somehow.
And...more than anything, she wanted Queen Miku to be happy.
The queen called for Rin in the middle of the knight, and she went towards her.
Rin turned the doorknob, and the queen was holding a knife in one hand, face turned towards an open window.
Blue eyes widened, Rin's hand still on the door, trembling. "Y-Your majesty..."
"...Lady Rin. You are a lady, aren't you? ...my apologies."
Queen Miku turned to her, the face of a storybook princess in a bland smile. Tears were running from her eyes, down her cheeks as she held the knife in her hands.
"Your majesty, what are you-"
"Isn't it obvious, Lady Rin?" The queen smiled at her.
Rin stared at her in blank horror for a moment before her Majesty began to speak.
"...Lady Rin, I could tell what you were from the instant that I saw you."
What she was?
"...at first, I was angry. Angry at you and at the world. I, of course, knew I was a pitiful girl. I wasn't...I was not worthy. But to see the one who had that, I was furious with you."
Rin stared at her for a moment.
Queen Miku continued. "Next...I was jealous. I do apologize...for my actions. Jealousy has a poisoning effect. I...hated you, more than I had hated anything. I was worthless. The gods...the gods had not chosen me, after all."
Rin pressed a hand to her mouth. The gods-
But Miku had been chosen by the blue bird. That was why she was Queen, wasn't it? She was the avatar, an avatar of a god from the royal family.
"...Father and Mother kept it under wraps. They-they tried so well, to make sure no one knew of my dishonor on the royal family. The queen is always the avatar of the blue bird, after all. And I was not. I had no right to be queen. But you did."
Rin nearly fainted.
No.
She couldn't mean-
"Rin, you were the true avatar. And I...I was a mere fake. I was a pitiful thing that did not count as a queen. I caused wars. I did not protect my people well enough. I was merely a worthless object."
Even through her shock, hearing Miku speak those words made Rin's heart twist. No one should say that. No one-
"My-Your majesty...you're not-"
"...You always do do that, Lady Rin, don't you? No matter how cruel I was to you." Miku held the knife up, the blade pointing towards her, glinting in the moonlight from the window. "I suppose..."
"Y-Your majesty, don't..."
Miku sighed. "That was why I loved you."
And she plunged the blade down.
Rin screamed, as Queen Miku fell backwards, her hair falling from its braids, her nightgown flying around her.
"Y-Your majesty! Your majesty, no! NO! NO! Queen Miku! Queen Miku!"
She desperately funneled her healing powers, using everything she had. She had to heal her queen, the woman she loved, she had to-
She went into the deepest depths of magic she had, she used everything, but the cooling woman in her arms lay there, looking like she was waiting for a prince to wake her from her sleep save for the blood trickling from her mouth.
When the nobles came in, they saw the blue aura around Rin.
Rin was a high-status noblewoman. And with no heir...the goddess of the country, the blue bird would be queen.
And if, at her coronation, tears were in her eyes, no one noticed.