By AD
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or any of its characters…though I do wish Johnny Depp was mine. :P Anyway, I do own Kathy.
Warnings: mild language, crude humor, and occasional randomness
(this is based off the new movie, BTW!)
This story starts out like this:
"Mr. Wonka, Mr. Wonka!"
Willy Wonka was the world's most infamous chocolate factory owner. He was the most mysterious and the most awe-inspiring for sure. No one, save a handful of lucky people, had ever seen and talked to him in person. Even those people weird baffled by him and his actions.
"Yes? What is it, I'm busy," Wonka said, without looking up from his telescope. "I'm trying to create new candy so sweet—it'll blast you to the moon! Moon Blasters…yeah…that's a great name for them! Save NASA a whole lot of money, I'll bet you…"
"Mr. Wonka!" A small Oompa Loompa came up to him, panting from its long run.
Wonka paused and looked down with a slightly annoyed look. "What is it?"
"It's Mr. Buckets, sir!"
Ah, his young heir, Charlie Buckets. He was an ill-looking boy, but had an intriguing disposition. He had the same love of candy Wonka himself did as a boy. Ever since the golden ticket fiasco that sent the whole world into a tizzy, Wonka had been teaching young Charlie everything about how to run the factory. In return, Charlie had given him a whole new family setting.
"What about him? I already gave him a lesson today about how to operate the taffy pulling machine," Wonka replied, raising a curious eyebrow.
"You see, Mr. Wonka, I went into to check on—," The Oompa Loompa tried to say, but a loud beeping caught their attention.
A large Oompa Loompa was riding a motor scooter with a mailbag around his shoulder. He stopped in front of Wonka.
"Mail for Mr. Wonka!" The small creature exclaimed, handing his boss the letter.
"What a surprise! I wonder who it's from!" Wonka said excited, opening the envelope. He took out the letter and read it quickly. After a few moments, his eyes stopped moving. He dropped the letter and started off in a brisk walk towards the door.
"Mr. Wonka, wait! About Mr. Buckets!" The troubled Oompa Loompa shouted, running as fast as he could after the famed chocolate master.
"Yes, yes! Go get him will you? Ah, perhaps we should go on a world tour, to understand the basics of foreign chocolate making!" Wonka replied. His voice was surprising high pitched, as it got when he got nervous. "We should leave as soon as possible…like, now, for example…!"
"Mr. Wonka, you must listen, sir! Mr. Bucket's isn't here!"
"What? Where is he!" Wonka spun around, confused. "It's not a school day, or whatever, and bhis parents know I need him around during the day—!"
"Mr. Wonka!" The Oompa Loompa stopped, bent over, gasping for breathe. "He's not here because—!"
"—WILLY!"
"ACK—NOOOO!"
When the poor Oompa Loompa looked up, he was shocked to see a strange woman in a very peculiar outfit attack Wonka with his own cane. She looked as though she was ready to go into battle, with her several guns at her sides.
"—never replied to any of my letters!" The woman was shouting. "And what's this deal about the gold tickets? Going senile already?"
"Kathy—WATCH THAT CANE—calm down!" Wonka was dodging the best he could.
Kathy, or so named, stopped swinging her weapon. She pointed dangerously at the candy maker. "OK, cough up the answers before I get mad!"
If Charlie had been there, he would have asked a million questions like he usually did—but that was good. A good businessman always wanted to know what, when, why and how about situations.
However, if Charlie had been there, Wonka wouldn't have even bothered to explain.
"Aggressive like ever, Katherine, I see," Wonka muttered, grabbing his cane back. "The golden tickets have already been discovered and the contest is over, alright? You missed it."
"Aw…oh well!" Kathy shrugged. "Who won?"
"A Mr. Charlie Buckets."
"…so? What'd he win? A life time supply of chocolate?"
"…no…" Wonka shuffled his feet slightly. This woman obviously had a strong mental grasp over him. "I, ah…named him my heir."
"…"
"…Kathy?"
"HOW STUPID WAS THAT, YOU IDIOT?" Kathy screeched, pulling out one of her guns. "YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN ANY PSYCHO—A FUTURE MASS MURDERER—OFF THE STREETS!"
"But he was the right one, I am sure of it!" Wonka said steely, though he backed up several inches. "He has all the right characteristics, all the right skills—and he actually quite bright!"
"A quality you obviously never picked up on," Kathy replied darkly, though she put away her new weapon. "I leave you alone for a few years and look at you—selling off your company to any kid who happens to seem right."
"What did you expect me to do?"
"Get married? Have a kid? Perhaps find some elixir of life or something—I know you're still trying to make that so don't deny it!"
Wonka placed his arm over his eyes dramatically. "It's too late for me—I found one!"
"One WHAT?"
"A hair…a silver hair!"
Kathy stared at him for a while. "…the temptation to blow your head off is so great right now I can't stand it…"
"Well please do, because I have a company to run until that boy is old enough or I keel over and die. Neither of which is going to happen very soon, hopefully." Wonka adjusted his top hat. "What do you want exactly? Money?"
"No…just some time with you. You know, hanging out or whatever the kids call it now a days."
"We're not kids, Kathy."
"We'll we're not old geezers either…not yet, anyway." Kathy said, frowning. She looked around and said quietly. "You sure have come a long way…a small shop to a huge castle of a factory. I heard about your little elevator too—ingenious."
"Compliments?" Wonka asked, amused.
"I want to meet this boy, the one you chose. To see if he's good enough to take on this enormous legacy," she demanded suddenly.
Wonka shrugged. "Ok, but even if you do find something wrong with him, I'm not changing my mind."
"Fine."
"Now, can you go find Charlie for me?" Wonka turned to the Oompa Loompa behind him.
"Sir!" The Oompa Loompa looked as though he was about to die of a heart attack. "Mr. Buckets isn't here!"
"Where is he?"
"Mr. Wonka—Charlie's been kidnapped!"
O.o Cliffhanger, dun dun. Anyway, I think I screwed up on Wonka's personality. I couldn't have him too crazy/funny in this scene cause the conversation wouldn't turn out right. I'll try to make him more goofy in the next chapter.
Poor Oompa Loompa…they should make a society for protecting those little guys.
And Kathy? She's definitely not Wonka's girlfriend/wife or will ever be such a thing. NO ROMANTIC PAIRINGS IN THIS STORY! Remember now, Wonka's a freelance chocolate factory owner, he doesn't like family ties all that much. Kathy is more of what you would call an old friend. Yes, Wonka has a friend. XD More about Kathy will be revealed later—I'll leave you all wondering for now.
Please review!