Title: Breaking Up Baby

Author: Shelby

Summary: "Not ready to admit to yourself it's time to make the change from two-seater Porsche to soccer mom minivan?" "Oh my god! For the last time, I'm not pregnant with your devil spawn!" Chuck/Blair A-Z One-Shot

A/N: Found this in my old documents on my old laptop while looking for something I needed in order to do my homework. Thought I would post it since a couple of you guys have asked me to always post stuff that I write. It's just a fun A-Z/Dialogue C/B one-shot.

I've also learned that it's pointless to post your opinion on sites regarding Chuck/Blair anymore. Apparently, I'm not entitled to one since mine is wrong. So please don't ask me about my take on episodes anymore or discuss them in your review. I'm posting stories here and would like to enjoy doing that only.

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"An invitation is now a must for any party I host, Bass."

"Break up with the Basstard Party is something I didn't think I'd need an invitation for. You should learn how to treat the guest of honor."

"Chuck, you're the one who decided to show up drunk and humiliate yourself."

"Did you expect me to sit home while everyone from Perez Hilton to Ryan Seacrest reported you were free of me? Not to mention the lovely pictures of you with some cretin on your arm to follow."

"Ethan was his name actually. Not that it matters now. I doubt he'll call after being tackled to the ground by some jealous lunatic."

"Forgive me for performing the right to claim what's mine."

"Great, you're in denial again. See when I slammed the door in your face and threw your stuff out onto the street, that was my way of telling you to get out of my life. For good this time."

"How naïve you have suddenly become, Waldorf. Don't you know by now that I never do what I'm told? So when should I move back in? Arthur is waiting with my stuff downstairs."

"I'd say right around never, Bass. If you could tell me how you got into my apartment in the first place after I changed the locks, I'd really appreciate it though."

"Jail last night earned me a bunch of new, useful friends."

"Keyed my car then too, did they?"

"Lap dance for me tonight and I'll buy you a new, more expensive one."

"My people will just send you a bill to pay for the repairs on my old one."

"Not ready to admit to yourself it's time to make the change from two-seater Porsche to soccer mom minivan?"

"Oh my god! For the last time, I'm not pregnant with your devil spawn!"

"Paternity test will eventually make you own up to it or should I say me."

"Qualifying to take a paternity test would require being pregnant, which I'm not!"

"Really? Because I'm pretty sure me switching your birth control with Placebos would do the trick."

"So it was you then?! I knew someone was trying to knock me up! I just didn't think my insane ex-boyfriend would go to such lengths!"

"The plan entailed us getting engaged to your knowledge, if it makes you feel any better. Then again, if you said no there was always getting you drunk and flying to Vegas."

"Unjust means of tying me down seems to be the current theme of this year, doesn't it?"

"Very cute, Blair, pretending to not want to marry or have babies with me. But this game is getting old. So are we doing this in or out of wedlock?"

"We are not doing anything, especially making evil little Bass babies."

"Xavier Bass is such a great name for our first child, wouldn't you agree?"

"You are unbelievable! Hey, don't you go through my trash! Plus signs mean negative now!"

"Zip it, Waldorf. You're going to damage our future child's hearing."

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A/N: That was fun, but was it any good?