This isn't really like any other Glee fanfiction. AU, Depression, Dark!fic. It is based off of CP Coulter's fanfic "Dalton". (Disclaimer) I do not own Glee or any of these characters. Please enjoy. :)
It's days like these that Logan really fucking hates. His face is scrunched up and his nose is running again, but he just wipes it away and tries to kill himself. He almost succeeds, but something always stops him. Right when he's about to kick the chair, he hears Blaine's voice. It's low and it freaks him to no end, but he hears him talking after the suicide attempts. He almost kills himself twice a day, but Blaine stops him. Sometimes he feels like the only reason he wants to kill himself is so that he can hear the dark haired boy's voice before he goes. It's soothing and weird and Logan just lays in his bed, drinking beer and talking to Blaine for hours. And then he falls asleep, having random conversations with the ghost in his bed. He doesn't know if anyone remembers that it's Blaine's birthday today.
Julian finds it odd at first. He doesn't really realize how important it is until Logan is crying again. They're sitting at some restaurant, he can't remember the name, and Logan is hunched over, sobbing into his fries. Julian just sighs and touches the blond's hand. He almost cries too, wondering if Logan will ever know how much he loves him. If Logan will realize how much he's suffering without him.
He's forgotten what the moon looks like in Ohio, with all the stars shining bright. When he steps off the plane, he wonders why he ever decided to come back again. He's covering his eyes and muttering apologies to strangers as he walks by. There's a cab waiting and he slams the door, handing over the directions to a certain house. It's got to be midnight by time they reach the street. And then he's knocking on the door, holding his breath. And Kurt just smiles, inviting him in.
Shane hates him. He knows it. Every time he walks into the living room, the younger Anderson is staring at him with these angry eyes and Logan's pretty sure Reed has never looked so worried before. Kurt says that after Blaine left, everyone sort of just went crazy. Reed trips and stumbles more often and Shane doesn't really smile anymore. Wes moved to Los Angeles with David as soon as Katherine got better. Dwight has his own ghost hunting company in Colorado. The tweedles have even changed to an extent. Everything has changed and it reminds Logan just how much Blaine meant to everyone. It makes him angry and he just turns back around and stays in the guest bedroom. He falls asleep to nothing. He really wishes he could talk to Blaine...
Kurt looks okay. He has dull skin and his house smells like weed, but he looks okay. He still wears the fashionable clothes and Logan is glad that he didn't change quite as much as the others did. When Logan asks if he's okay, Kurt just shrugs. "It's been so long. I didn't recognize you." And Logan puts on a fake chuckle, but he knows how much his face has altered and he's ashamed. "You look the same as when I left..." the blond mutters and Kurt just nods. "I'm glad you came back."
He's eating stale cereal that he found on top of the refrigerator and he's humming a soft, familiar tune. It's sunny outside and he smiles as the light hits his skin. Shane and Reed are sitting on the couch, whispering to each other. They're talking about Logan, blatantly and the blond rolls his eyes. When he walks by, Shane gets his attention. "So why are you back in Ohio? Getting sick of New York?" Logan mutters something like "Fuck you." and he slams his door.
The next day, he's walking past Kurt's room and he hears talking. "I don't understand why he's here..." Shane says. "Him being here is only going to stress you more out..." Reed mumbles. And then Kurt is scolding them. "He's a guest here and you will stop talking about him like that, okay?" Logan just sighs and walks into the living room, turning the T.V on. Nothing good is ever on, so he just sits there. Reed and Shane are rushing past him and opening the door. They leave without a word to the blond and Kurt slumps next to him. "Don't mind them, they're coming back with some stuff." Logan's eyebrows raise at the word "stuff" and he just nods when the brunette takes his hand. It's soothing. They stay that way for awhile.
"I swear to god, if they say one more smart remark, I will-" Logan chuckles. "Julian, you're in New York. You won't make it here in time to punch them." Julian is pissed off and he keeps telling Logan to come back home, but Logan always refuses, saying that it's not time to go yet and Julian is really starting to get worried now. "You're not comfortable there. I know you're not..." the actor reasons. "Actually, I really am. It's weird..." There's a sigh at the other end. Then Kurt walks in with Shane and Reed. "Look, I gotta go. I'll call you later." Click. Julian really wishes he'd just come back home.
"Where did you get this?" Logan, Reed, Shane, and Kurt are all laying on the balcony and it's dark outside, but no one really cares. "My uncle knows a good dealer in Elyria. He always has good shit..." Shane trails off inhaling the blunt and passing to his fiance'. Reed puffs it and passes it to Kurt and Logan just laughs. Obviously, Reed isn't really into this. He thinks maybe Reed pretends because Shane is into all of this and he feels bad for a moment. The blunt is back to him and he inhales, just letting all his thoughts slip away. It's a good buzz and he's angry he didn't do this years ago. "Can I address the elephant in the room?" Everyone nods at Logan and he just sighs. "I really fucking miss him..." It's silent. The blunt is gone and Logan is mad again as everyone goes back into their rooms.
Blaine Anderson died in Winchester, Ohio. He didn't kill himself or drown. He wasn't even ill. He fell off of his father's roof, trying to set up the Christmas Lights. They called the ambulance, but it was just too late to save him. Apparently, he was dead as soon as he hit the ground. His neck had cracked and caused hemorrhaging and he bled to death. No one was really paying attention too him, so he suffered. Either way, it was a really stupid way to die. Ever since he died, everyone has hated Christmas and everything that went along with it. Christmas was forbid in Kurt's house and he even shut off the cable in December, just so he could ignore the commercial hype. Logan doesn't think it's wrong, he actually likes the idea. But it's surprising because it's the first thing to let him know that Kurt wasn't okay.
He's walking past Kurt's room again, but he doesn't hear anything. He stands there for awhile, waiting. Just waiting. And then he's opening the door and he's walking in and everything just hits him at once. Blaine's face is staring back at him. From every which way. There's pictures of the dead boy all over Kurt's wall. There really isn't an inch of wall that isn't covered. He drops to his knees and just sob into his palms. And Blaine is watching him. Talking to him again. Shane catches him in there and he helps Logan up. He's leading him into the kitchen and the blond is still crying, hard. He's trying to say something and Shane just holds him, muttering and whispering encouraging words.
Logan is drinking beer and Reed is drawing him. It's lazy and Reed doesn't mind if he moves his drinking hand, it's just a sketch. Shane is watching a movie. Some action movie Logan doesn't recognize. And Kurt is cooking dinner. He knows Logan was in his room, but he doesn't care. He's not ashamed of his shrine one bit. It makes happy inside even when if makes him sad. It's really quiet besides the gun shots and yells from the T.V. And Logan is still crying as he gulps his beer. No one is paying attention besides maybe Reed and even then, Reed doesn't really notice.
Logan is standing in front of Julian, luggage in his hands and he's smiling, only a little. "I decided to come home." And Julian is happy as he hugs the blond boy, pulling him inside and helping him unpack. Logan has stopped crying, he's even stopped drinking, but Julian knows what he has to do to help the man he's in love with. They decide to open the box of Blaine stuff. His pictures, his friendship bracelets, his locks of hair, and his lyric book from Dalton Senior year. They throw it in a fire, Logan leaning on Julian as he sobs into the cool night air. They walk back inside and watch a musical. Maybe Logan will love Julian one day. Time will only show. But Logan will always love the ghost boy of his dreams.