-1Author's note: This is the work of a fevered imagination. Please take the time to tell me what you think.

Full Summary: The time has come for Amargeddon, but God has overslept. In the ensuing chaos He finds that the world has changed beyond all recognition, and sends Gabriel to investigate. Now read on…

Part 1 - the Creation of the Universe.

Pre-prologue.

Before the Beginning there was Space. Space was, in order of things, a) cold - incredibly cold, b) black - I'm saying real pitch black, blacker than a coal minder's armpit black, c) lonely - completely on his own, no change in sight lonely, d) bored - permanent state of yawning bored, and e) incredibly tiny, I mean minute, no room two swing a cat even if you had one, I mean little.

Well Space had got to the stage of deciding to do away with itself because of the five reasons already given, when it noticed a tiny gold light, down and slightly to the left. Space expanded a bit and the light grew stronger, and larger, so keeping the bit of itself where the light was the same size he contracted himself so that he could see into the light.

What he saw was a perfectly equipped Physics lab (that's Physics as in magnetism, electricity and such like and not Physics as in tummy upsets and hangovers). In the lab a young Being was hurrying around joining cables here and power supplies there and humming to himself as he worked. The Being was of average size with ginger hair and beard, wearing a lab coat, a pair of very tasteful green, blue, pink and yellow jockey shorts, and open-toed sandals. Space decided to settle down and see what was going to happen; after all, nothing really drastic could happen… could it?

The Being connected the last lead and stood there checking his machine dials, and having dried his suddenly damp hands on the hem of his lab coat he reached slowly for the main switch. Space strained forward in anticipation. The Being's hand closed on the switch and threw it… Nothing happened. The Being swore and kicked the machine, Space relaxed for the last time in its existence as with a screaming whine all the dials on the machine climbed into the red, and….

………………………………...

Prologue.

In the Beginning were the Words, and the Words were "Oh shit it's going critical! Please help me, I don't want to die!" There followed the most incredibly stupendous, ear-splitting silence. Silence, you might ask? Well, working on the principle that if a tree falls faraway in a dense jungle and no-one hears it does it make a sound? And seeing as the only sentient being around (Space was too busy expanding to hear anything) was lying squeezed up in a corner with his lab coat over his head, showing off his amazing Technicolor boxers, his fingers stuffed in his ears and humming what will one day become the hit tune 'Born Free'… perhaps we will settle for a "Big Phut".

At this moment Time started. Well, to be exact, owing to being a bit disorientated by the suddenness of events, Time tried to go first backwards, then sideways, and up and down, before settling on forwards. Unfortunately this made it 23.07 nanoseconds late, a period it has been trying to catch up with ever since.

Epilogue.

Well, that's that then. Everything turned out all right then. Things worked out all right in the end really. Didn't they? Well, it did, didn't it? PLEASE SAY IT DID!