Shinji's wretched sobs filled the small apartment. Even someone as admittedly hard-hearted as Asuka could not ignore the pain filled cries which drifted through the thin walls. Truth be told however, she didn't really want to. Only her own stubborn pride forced her to try and ignore Shinji's cry. But why? He was the only person who truly understood her. The only person who had been able to withstand her 'German Devil' persona and see the woman underneath. The only person who truly cared…
She opened his door and was shocked at what she found. The mattress was hanging from his bed torn open, his desk was laying on its side its contents spilled on to the floor. And inside the darkened room, pathetically hunched in a corner, was Shinji. His white shirt was torn at the sleeves and specked with blood, his own. His sobs still echoed throughout the apartment, only ceasing for him to softly moan three words. Asuka stepped into the room, having to avoid his ruined belongings. She knelt next to him, and listened, Shinji seemingly not noticing her. "I killed him.." he sobbed, his voice weak. Asuka reached out to him and gently touched his shoulder. He immediately recoiled onto a foetal position and cried harder. "No, don't touch me, I'll only hurt you too." He choked out. She moved over and put her arms around his chest. She pulled him back into a tight embrace. He struggled half-heartedly but Asuka simply pulled his head into her shoulder, then as she lay her head on top of his she though t to herself. "He would never give up on me, so I'll be damned if I give up on him. " She hugged him tighter and thought of the events that had left Shinji in this pitiful state. She remembered the gnarled face of Unit 3 as it batted her aside, she remembered Shinji's desperate cries for his father to stop the dummy plug, she remembered his heart wrenching scream as they pulled Touji Suzahara's corpse from his mangled entry plug. She shuddered at the horrible memories, but they were far from over.
Shinji had beaten the controls of his Evangelion to try and halt its murderous rampage. Beaten them so hard that he broke his own arm in the process. It was two hours until his bloodstained unit was recalled, his plugsuits painkillers ran out after 30 minutes. As the technicians went to reattach Unit One to its restraints Shinji had activated the beast. Asuka had rushed to central dogma as soon as the nurses told her what was going on. She ran through the door and found Shinji's face on the main viewer. He was facing the floor and speaking in a voice so cold, so unlike the sweet bashful Shinji Asuka knew, it frightened her. "Why?" he asked. The Commander simply replied, "I do not need to explain my actions to a child, return Unit One to its holding area." "You son of a bitch.." Shinji said, his now quaking with anger. "You killed my best friend, just to see how far your goddamn toy would go.." The commander looked at the bridge staff and ordered "Increase the plugs LCL level to maximum, I have no time to waste on a petulant child." As they reluctantly complied, Shinji screamed "I'm not gonna let you get away with it, you monster!" he screamed as he forced his Eva through the first barrier separating him from his 'father'. The LCL squeezed his body like vice but it did not stop him. He pushed forward on the Eva's control yokes, forgetting his broken arm. His life signs began falter as the LCL crushed his body. There were tears in Asuka's eyes as she watched the rampaging behemoth. Then came the shot, that bitch had shot him, that doll. Even after he had blown off her arm, she still followed the commander's orders. Shinji's vision went red, he felt his stomach explode in pain. The last thing he saw was a one-armed Unit Zero pointing a massive pistol at his Eva. Then he collapsed.
By the time Asuka came back to herself she realised that she was shivering with rage. Shinji had cried himself to sleep and was resting against her chest. She looked at the boy in her arms and realised that he was still bleeding, his knuckles were raw and torn, obviously from tearing his room apart. She thought back to the people responsible for this, The Commander and his doll. She was going to make them pay. She was going to make them pay for taking Touji's life, make them pay for hurting Shinji so badly. Oh yes she was going to make them pay for destroying the man she loved, but before that she was going to bring him back. Even if she had to hold him until they both turned old and grey she would restore him. "Then" she thought, "Then he will have his vengeance. Then there will be the reckoning." She kept cradling the boy in her arms as she drifted off to sleep.
She woke the next morning to find Shinji gone. His room had been picked up and re-arranged to its former glory, bar the tears in the mattress. She walked into the kitchen expecting to find Shinji cooking. Shinji was nowhere to be found, only a small piece of folded paper on the table. She opened the note and began to read, before she had read half, she was already running to Misato's room. Within minutes the two women were speeding towards Nerv HQ.
Shinji stroked the trigger on Misato's service pistol. "She's gonna be mad" he thought to himself as he strolled though the gates of Nerv. He placed the pistol back in his pocket and walked toward the command centre, towards an overly large office where his target would undoubtedly be found. He greeted a bridge technician warmly as he strolled toward the elevator. "That bastard's gonna be sorry he ever let me out of that cage." He thought to himself as he strode purposefully toward his prey's lair.
Misato's blue Renault screamed around a slower car as she and Asuka raced toward Nerv. The purple haired woman dropped a gear and buried the engine into the redline as she screamed around the corner almost hitting a broken-down car. "Damn it!" growled Misato as she willed the car to go faster.
"Asuka, ring Nerv and tell them to take Shinji into custody." "No!" the red-haired girl screamed, distraught.
"If we do that they'll send him to jail!"
"And if he kills the Commander where do you think he's going?" In tears Asuka yelled back "There has to be something we can do Misato!"
Misato thought hard and turned back to Asuka. "Ring Kaji, tell him exactly what's going on, tell him that Shinji's armed." Misato said softly.
"Yes ma'am!" the girl exclaimed, a look of hope on her face as she frantically dialled the phone.
Shinji rounded the final corner, only to be faced by a shabby looking man with a perpetual smile on his face. Shinji noticed that Kaji was not himself though, he was standing too straight. Shinji also noticed the fact that Kaji was wearing his sidearm.
"I knew leaving that note was a bad idea" Shinji said smiling. He was annoyed that he had been found out, but also proud that Misato had proven to be so resourceful.
"Well, I suppose the world just has it out for we romantics." Kaji said smiling.
"Kaji, I guess you know what I'm doing, so what say you get out of my way so I can finish this."
Kaji was shocked by the hollow tone of his voice and the almost maniacal look in Shinji's eyes. This was getting ugly fast.
"Yes, I know why you're here and god knows he deserves it, but don't ruin your life for revenge. He's not worth it."
"Kaji… I was expecting more, is that really the best you can do?"
"Shinji, I can't let you do this. I mean you wouldn't just be ruining your own life, you'd be ruining there's as well."
At that, Misato and Asuka came running around the corner, a look of desperation in each woman's face.
"Shinji!" they both pleaded in unison, "don't do this!"
Shinji looked into their eyes and wanted nothing more than to just go home and be close to them. Then he remembered that the man who had killed his best friend was sitting at a desk behind that armoured door. Probably with that smug fucking grin plastered on his face.
"Well see how fucking smug he is when he's sucking on the end of this" he thought to himself as he drew the service pistol from his pocket. Kaji drew his as well.
"Shinji please!" cried Asuka "don't do it!" tears now streaming down her face.
"Let's just go home Shinji" pleaded Misato a look of concern burned into her beautiful face.
"Listen to them Shinji, they love you. If you do this now, you will lose them as well as your life" added Kaji, his words utterly sincere.
Shinji looked around, at the man who he wished was his father, the woman who had taken him into her heart and into her home, and the girl he knew he loved. His mind was a mess. He clutched his head with his free hand and almost doubled over.
"No!" he screamed "That bastard has to pay! He killed Touji, and he did it using my hands! He killed my mother!" He also remembered how he had ruined Rei's life, then he remembered how a large calibre bullet to the stomach had stopped him caring.
Asuka cried out, "If you do this then he's killing you as well!" She didn't care about her defences any more, she didn't care what people would say, she just wanted Shinji back. "And I can't lose you!"
Shinji was taken aback at the sincerity of the confession. She wasn't insulting him, she wasn't making fun of him, she really cared! But what about his father, what about Touji!
"Asuka," Shinji said quietly "I just want to stop this, I just want to take you and Misato into my arms and forget about all of this. But I can't, I can't let him get away with what he's done. He's crossed the line I can't allow him to cross. He's killed a person I care about. I won't betray Touji's memory by allowing him to get away with that.
Misato stepped forward. A caring look on her face. "Would Touji want you to ruin your life for him? Will that make things better? Will it bring him back?"
Kaji stepped closer to Shinji still holding his pistol "Shinji, I promise he won't get away with this, but now isn't the time. You don't have to die today. Now please, give me the gun"
Shinji felt the tears coming, he looked over to Asuka who was also crying. She looked towards him pleadingly.
Shinji looked at Kaji, his eyes almost on fire.
"Promise me. Promise me he'll pay. Promise me hell know the suffering he's dealt"
"I promise" Kaji replied, meaning every word of it.
"Deal" Shinji said as he collapsed.
He heard Misato and Asuka scream, then everything went black.
Preview of Part Two
In Darkness I Hide
"What's wrong with him?" Asked Asuka, sitting beside Shinji as he lay unconscious on the hospital bed. His chest heavily strapped. Misato stood on the other side of his bed stroking the back of his hand. He had been unconscious since that morning. After the 'incident' he had spent the day in the hospital wing.
"Shinji has a partially collapsed windpipe and three broken ribs." Replied Ritsuko in her typical scientist tone of voice.
"How the hell did that happen?" yelled Misato, looking at the people present.
"It seems," said Ritsuko "that Shinji was not checked out after the last angel attack."
"What?" exclaimed Asuka and Misato.
"With the 'trouble' after the last attack, Shinji's consequent incarceration and your eagerness to take him home, Misato. His injuries were overlooked." Ritsuko said without so much as a flutter in her voice.
"But that was three days ago!" yelled Asuka, both anger and concern heavy in her voice "You're telling me you left him wounded for three days just because he was overlooked?"