Rated: Uhm... PG-13? to be safe...
Warning: shonen-ai, blood, etc.
Pairing: SasuNaru, slight NaruKaka?
A shadow on the wall-Chapter 1
Something about sitting in the cold rain reminded him of the cold glances that the Uchiha boy often passed him. Naruto looked up to the dark gray, clouded sky as the rain slipped down his cheeks. It looked as if he was crying, but no one could tell if it was from the rain or if he was really shedding tears. It has been three years since Sasuke had left. Three years since he, Naruto, was left out on a night like this. Had Kakashi not found him, he would have died from overexposure in the condition he had been in.
Naruto sighed and turned his gaze to the ground. Since that day, no matter how hard he had trained, or how much he tred, Sasuke was still the only person who dominated his thoughts. Forget about becoming hokage for now, he really wished he knew what had happened to the cold, obnoxious rival that drove him to become the best of the best. Sasuke had given him motivation and courage to drive himself towards his goal. He had always set out to prove to the village that he was more than just a trouble maker or a loud, inconsiderate ninja, but once he had become a genin, the tables slowly turned towards gaining acceptance from Sakura and Sasuke. However after a while, his crush on Sakura lessened and it was just Sasuke he was out to impress. Naruto didn't think much of it at first, but after Sasuke left that day, Naruto couldn't stop thinking about him. All he thought about was, if Sasuke was alright, and if he was even still alive. Naruto walked silently down the muddy streets of Konoha.
Things were getting more and more confusing to him. Life seemed dull, and he had very little ability to concentrate on his tasks, or missions. Recently he had a dream about Sasuke. In that dream, Naruto recalls, Sasuke showed up on his doorsteps, blood clung to his clothes, his hair and face. He remembers almost vividly the reactions he felt in his dream, that intense knotting in his stomach, the quickening of his pulse. Tears actually form in his eyes as the visions flash before his eyes like he was phasing in and out of a reality that he feared most. He paused in the middle of the street, his clothes soaked and his hair weighted down by the rain. He recalled how Sasuke feel at his feet, softly, almost inaudibly whispering the words "I'm back...finally."
Naruto clenched his fists and took off in a sprint towards his house. He couldn't stand being out in the rain anymore. He didn't care if he was on patrol duty or not, it wasn't like he was the only one walking through Konoha on patrol. Memories flooded back vividly as if they had happened only a day ago. His thoughts wandered back to the fight with Haku and Zabuza when Sasuke had fallen down in front of him, needles penetrating him as if he were a voodoo doll. He had done it to protect him. His thoughts paused a moment. "If he hated me so much, why'd he save me then... why'd he ever save me at all?" the words slipped from his lips with a painful melody.
Naruto stopped at his door and fell to his knees, unable to enter. He hunched over as empty sobs shook his body. One hand held the doorknob and one hand covered his face. So lost in thought and pain, he didn't notice the figure walk up behind him. A soft hand fell upon Naruto's shoulder. Still, he didn't notice as his sobs consumed him. The figure spoke and picked him up off the ground. "Let's get you inside before you get sick."
The next thing Naruto realized was warm water beating against his icey cold skin. Gentle hands massaged his head with shampoo and a soft voice broke the silence. "Are you alright now?" Naruto recognized the voice and sighed.
"Yes, sensei, I'm fine." he looked down at his lap, his new orange boxers were still soaked with cold rainwater, but were slowly soaking up the warm shower water.
"Good..." a warm smile crossed the older nin's face, though it went unnoticed behind the spread of spandex that covered half of his face.
"Kakashi-sensei, I think I can finish this myself... I need to be alone for a bit. If you'd like you are welcome to sit in the kitchen and wait for me." Naruto looked to his side at him.
"Alright." Kakashi handed the shower head to Naruto and rinsed off his hand, getting up and leaving the bathroom.
Naruto sighed and rinsed the soap from his hair. Then he leaned back in the tub and lost himself in the warmth that surrounded him. How he wished it were the warmth he had gotten in the presence of Sasuke. Though Sasuke was always cold, Naruto has always found warmth in his company. He placed his hand on his head and let himself relax. He knew he'd have to explain it all to Kakashi. Kakashi could always see behind the masks that Naruto built up, he would definately ask why he had found him slumped over at his front door in tears. Naruto ran his hand through his hair as he sat up to get out of the water. It definately wouldn't be easy to explain without breaking down again. Especially not after that dream.
A shadow on the wall- Chapter 2
Naruto walked into the kitchen and sat at the table next to Kakashi. Kakashi looked up from his book and placed it down gently on the table. Naruto took a breath and Kakashi asked, "What's really wrong?"
Naruto looked away and sighed. "I'd rather not talk about it." He stated, hoping desperately that Kakashi wouldn't pursue the subject.
Kakashi shook his head and handed Naruto a cup of tea he had made while he was waiting for his student to finish bathing. "I'm not letting you get off that easy. You abandoned your patrolling duty."
Naruto sipped quietly at the cup of tea for a moment before replying. "I really don't want to talk about it Kakashi-sensei."
Kakashi gave him a stern look. "You can't keep these things bottled up, I know you Naruto."
Naruto sighed and set his cup down. "I was just thinking about Sasuke, that's all…"
Kakashi leaned back and stared at Naruto. "That's not all there is to it, and you know I'm not gonna let you slide."
Naruto adverted Kakashi's eyes, "I really hate it when you push a subject."
"Well, I hate when you constantly avoid a subject." There was a brief silence.
Naruto got up from the table and attempted to leave the room, but Kakashi grabbed his wrist. "Don't you dare walk away from me."
Naruto stopped and looked at the floor. It was cold and hard beneath his feet. "There's not that much to say about it except I was thinking of Sasuke."
Kakashi could feel Naruto's fists tighten and his body starting to tremble slightly. "What about Sasuke?" There was another pause.
Naruto bit his lip, trying to maintain his composure. It was getting harder to hold back his emotions as the memories flashed across his mind like an old movie film. "I…I…." His voice quivered as he fought the urge to cry.
Kakashi got up and walked three steps towards Naruto, standing behind him. The older Jounin placed a hand on the younger nin's shoulder. "It was that dream again wasn't it?"
Naruto nodded. Kakashi wrapped his arms around Naruto's small shoulders and softly whispered in his ear, a sincere attempt to comfort the younger boy. "Dreams are only a reflection of our deepest fear. Reality isn't reflected in them. Don't worry."
Naruto pulled away from Kakashi and leaned against the kitchen doorframe, his back still facing Kakashi. "I don't need to hear lies just to offer comfort. Would you please just leave me alone?"
Kakashi sighed and returned to the table to retrieve his book. "All right. Just don't think about it so much. I promise, Sasuke's fine… I'm sure he is…" It was just another comforting lie.
Naruto turned around to face Kakashi. His eyes were red and his lip was purple from lack of blood flow due to his biting. Kakashi passed him and pat him on the shoulder. "I'll be by to pick you up for our meeting with Sakura and Tsunade-sama." He proceeded to leave.
Naruto walked back to his chair at the table and flopped down in it. He took his teacup and drank it in a quick gulp. Letting his head fall against the table, he sighed. "If only your words were true, Kakashi-sensei."
Naruto leaned back in his chair while he sat alone in his empty kitchen. He'd lived in this house all alone ever since he could remember, but it never felt as empty as it did now. His thoughts drifted back to Sasuke as he remembered their battle with Orochimaru in the forest during the Chuunin exams. He chuckled in amusement as he remembered the look of terror on the proud Uchiha face, the one who had so often looked at him as if he were a burden. Naruto couldn't help but smile at the moment when the tables had turned and he had gotten the chance to mock Sasuke the same way he had always mocked Naruto. It wasn't the best memory, but it was amusing to say the least. Somehow it put his heart at ease to know that he was able to protect Sasuke, even if it was just once.
Naruto let out a yawn and stretched his arms as he got up from his chair. He picked up the empty teacups and placed them in the sink. Then he made his way into his bedroom. He sat on his bed and glanced at the old team picture that sat on his beside table. He took it into his hands and pressed his fingers against Sasuke's face. "I wish I could see you again…" he whispered gently as he fell back lazily.
A shadow on the wall-Chapter 3
Several hours passed as Naruto lay in his bed. His mind raced with thoughts of Sasuke and sleep was nowhere near. He was left alone with his painful thoughts and the sound of the hard rain outside. Naruto shivered. Despite living alone for all those years, he still feared the emptiness of his house on occasion. Lightning crackled outside his window, lighting up the room. Naruto shot up in bed; he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He looked around, the lightning crackled again. A shadow flickered on his wall, outlining a head and spiky wisps of what looked like hair. "Sa… Sasuke?" Naruto's voice trembled.
No answer.
Naruto shook his head. He was imagining things. Sasuke was gone. He had left and probably was never coming back. Naruto's mind told him that, but his heart refused to believe the logistics of it. A soft whimper escaped his mouth as his lips trembled. He pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face into them. "I… Sasuke…" his voice sounded lost as it echoed softly through his room.
A faint creek sound came from the living room.
Naruto jumped, slightly startled. He grabbed his kunai next to his bed and slipped out of bed. It was late, dark… and he was emotionally unstable. His paranoia kicked in as he heightened his sharp ninja senses. He quietly tip toed to his bedroom door and paused.
The sound of wet shoes squeaking echoed through the halls.
Naruto's pulse quickened. Who could it be? He hoped to whatever god was out there it wasn't the Akatsuki who had stalked him over the last few years. He took a deep breath, trying desperately to calm himself as his adrenaline levels rose higher. He entered the hallway with caution.
He heard a faint rustle from the living room.
Naruto stiffened, his muscles tensed nervously. He mentally cursed himself for being caught off guard like this. What a story would be if he were to die because an assassin caught him while he was crying over Sasuke. He rolled his eyes at the irony. He'd finally caught his composure as he flipped the light switch in the living room to reveal the identity of the intruder.
"Sa… Sasuke?" Naruto notice blood drops trailing from the doorway, wet shoes that had carelessly been pulled off, and a worn out supply bag thrown back against the door.
A soft groan escaped the Uchiha's mouth as the light hit him. "Damn it, Naruto, turn that thing off!" he growled in frustration.
Naruto complied and walked over to the couch, his mouth opened slightly. His heart pounded at his ribcage, causing minor discomfort. His stomach knotted as the nervousness he had just overcome came back to him. He turned on a small table lamp that cast shadows throughout the room. Sasuke stared at Naruto, then winced at the pain that shot through his left arm.
Naruto reacted instinctively and touched Sasuke's arm gently as he examined the poorly wrapped bandage that tried to stop the bleeding of a large gash running down Sasuke's arm from elbow to the top of his wrist. Naruto bit his lip and shut his eyes tightly, pain wracking his brain.
Sasuke glared questioningly at Naruto. "Are you okay?" his voice wasn't soft, but it wasn't harsh either.
Naruto nodded silently as the pain subsided. "I… I'll rewrap the bandage for you…" Naruto offered, without even thinking to question why Sasuke was there.
Naruto looked at the bloodstained floor and then back at Sasuke. He was soaking wet, of course, and the wetness seeped into the couch. Naruto remained calm and suggested Sasuke go take a shower. "I'll bring you something dry to change into." He replied casually as Sasuke took up the offer and headed for Naruto's bathroom.
Once he was alone again, Naruto fell to the ground. Tears slid down his cheeks as silent sobs shook his body. He pulled the old towel close to him and began whipping up the blood on the floor. He couldn't believe it. Sasuke was really there, and it wasn't as bad as he had dreamed it would be. Once the floor was cleared of blood and it was dry, Naruto pulled his knees to his chest again and cried.
A shadow on the wall-Chapter 4-Final Chapter
Sasuke walked out of the bathroom with a towel hanging around his waist. "Naruto, I thought you were getting me something to change into." He grumbled as he entered the living room.
He came into the room to find Naruto hunched over, sobbing softly. Sasuke walked up to him and nudged his shoulder. "What's the matter?"
"Sa… Sasuke." He lifted his head and wiped his tears. "I'm sorry."
Naruto got up to walk into the other room to get Sasuke clean clothes to wear, but Sasuke held out his right arm to stop the blonde. "What's your problem? You've been weird ever since I've gotten here."
"Why... why shouldn't I be weird?" Naruto stuttered, sounding highly defensive.
"Because, you shouldn't…" Sasuke couldn't think of an answer quick enough to beat such clichéd words from escaping his mouth.
Naruto dropped his head and pushed Sasuke's arm gently out of his path and continued on his way to get clothes. A few minutes passed before he returned and he tossed the clothes next to Sasuke. Sasuke skillfully slipped on the shorts without even removing his towel.
Silence fell upon the two as Naruto glanced nervously at Sasuke's arm. Upon noticing the blonde's glanced, he spoke. "It's fine." He stated casually.
Naruto sighed nervously and sat on the floor in front of Sasuke. So many questions raced through his head that he wanted to ask, but he thought against it when the cocky replies he'd expect formed in his head. Silence remained between them.
Sasuke stared curiously at the nervous blonde in front of him. "This isn't the same Naruto I knew three years ago." He thought.
Naruto's voice finally broke the silence between them. "Why are you here?" His voice came out shakily.
Taken by surprise, Sasuke blinked. He really didn't know exactly why he was there, so he gave Naruto the first thing that crossed his mind. "I figured the last person I saw before I left should be the first I saw when I got back…"
Naruto raised an eyebrow and Sasuke cursed himself for not thinking of a more in character reply. He blamed it on the loss of blood, even though he really knew why the words came out the way that they did. He turned his head and leaned back in the couch before asking, "Do I REALLY need a reason to be here?" He added his signature scowl to the question.
Naruto shook his head and looked at the hard wood floor. He didn't expect Sasuke's return to be so awkward. Plus, fighting the urges to throw his arms around his long-term rival and welcome him back wasn't helping in the least. He rubbed his forehead with his fingers. "Oi, Sasuke, it's been three years now, hasn't it?" He asked, trying to break off the awkwardness in a conversation.
Sasuke nodded. "So it has," a simple reply.
Naruto got up from the floor and stood in front of Sasuke. Three years did a lot to the Uchiha boy. His hair was longer, but somehow gained a lighter blue than it had held up three years ago. His eyes were different as well, though Naruto couldn't place just what had changed in them. Naruto took note of how toned Sasuke's muscles had gotten and how rough his skin looked. Sasuke grew tense under the blonde's scrutinizing gaze.
"What?" he questioned, slightly nervous from the distant, yet soft look in Naruto's eyes.
"Huh?" Naruto blinked, "oh, I was just noticing how you've changed a bit…" he moved closer to Sasuke, it really was hard to resist the urge to tackle him right there.
Sasuke raised an eyebrow and leaned further back into the couch, trying hard to keep the distance from closing in. Naruto caught a glimpse of the side of Sasuke's neck, he hadn't noticed it yet, but it looked different. He touched it gently. "It looks different…" he stated.
Sasuke nodded. "I had Kazekage put a seal on it." He smirked.
Naruto's eyes widened. "Gaara-kun?!"
Sasuke nodded as Naruto questioned in astonishment. "He can do that?!"
Again Sasuke nodded, chuckling in slight amusement at the blonde's sudden curiosity. Naruto stared for a few minutes before pulling back and flopping down next to Sasuke on the couch. He leaned against the armrest and closed his eyes in concentration. "Sasuke-kun… why did you leave us?" he asked softly.
Sasuke immediately stated his answer, having thought about it a lot over the past few years. "I needed time to find myself."
Naruto trembled slightly, his eyes tightening to hold off tears that threatened to fall as he asked his next question. "Why…." His voice was slightly shaky, "why did you try to kill me then?"
Sasuke was unprepared to answer that question, especially with the way Naruto said it. His voice had the sound of an abandoned child. Sasuke looked to his side and noticed how Naruto bit his lower lip nervously, his eyes scrunched tightly, and his knees pulled to his chest. He let out a sigh and placed a hand on Naruto's head. He wanted to say he was sorry. He half wanted to wrap his arms around the blonde and whisper unspoken 'thank you's that he use to refuse to say.
Several minutes passed and Sasuke didn't reply. Naruto felt something squeeze at his heart, as the tears broke free. So many unforgotten feelings rushed through him. He wanted to yell them out so badly, but he was afraid that Sasuke would leave him again. He hadn't seen the Uchiha in three years, and he didn't want to cut the visit short by confessing his feelings and being shown a cold shoulder. Still, even now, with Sasuke right beside him, it was breaking his heart.
Sasuke felt the awkward silence of his unspoken answer. He clenched his shorts in his fists and thought of whether to tell Naruto the real reason he had tried to kill him or not. He didn't want Naruto to hate him. Three years away from the village, it really changed him for the better. He accomplished what he thought he'd do by killing his best friend. He managed to find another way to perfect his Shuringan and he grew stronger from it, not only physically and mentally, but emotionally as well. He looked at Naruto, who was now in tears. His eyes softened. He didn't know how to react to this situation; it had been so long since he actually had to deal with another's emotions like this.
Naruto finally broke the silence, "Well, Sasuke-kun?!" His words came out in a sob.
Sasuke cracked at the sound of Naruto's voice like that. He couldn't stand it anymore. He had to tell Naruto the damn truth. He couldn't run from his past anymore. He had to fight it up front and face the consequences of his actions. He turned to Naruto and brushed his cheek gently. His hand shaking nervously as Naruto's eyes opened to show sparkling blue eyes. Naruto's breath hitched as the sobs escaped him. Sasuke took a deep breath, his heart racing as he formed his reply. "I thought I'd become stronger if I killed you, Naruto."
The look Sasuke received burned him from the inside. The look of hurt on Naruto's face was indescribable with words. Sasuke flinched and pulled his hand back quickly as Naruto's lip trembled.
"Then why…. Did you let me live?" Naruto's gaze fell to the ground as his sobs stopped and his voice fell cold and empty.
Sasuke wanted to scream. This, this wasn't like Naruto. He'd never seen Naruto act so hurt and betrayed. Though, Sasuke didn't blame him. He deserved every reaction that burned his heart. It would never be enough to make up for what he had put Naruto through. He took his chances and voiced his answer softly and uncharacteristically tenderly, "Because I realized you meant the world to me."
Naruto's eyes widened as tears fell once more, but more out of shock than pain. Sasuke looked down and continued. "I had thought when I saw you laying on the ground, if I killed you and didn't really acquire what I was fighting for, I would have given up one of the most important people in my life. The only one who's motivated me and kept life interesting."
Naruto whimpered softly as the words reached his ears. The soft tears that fell from his eyes sparkled in the dim light of the room. He couldn't resist the urge anymore. He nearly jumped on top of Sasuke and threw his arms around him. "I was scared… I was scared that Sasuke-kun hated me." He whimpered softly.
Sasuke was taken by surprise again. For a moment he sat there, eyes wide, as he registered the feeling that washed over his regretful heart. Then, realizing Naruto was embracing him; he brought his arms around the blonde's waist, their embracing shadows reflected against the wall. "I don't hate you."
Happy tears erased the sad as Naruto whispered in Sasuke's ear. "Welcome home."
Sasuke smiled and patted Naruto's head. "I'm glad I can be home."