Hey guys, your friendly neighborhood nerd here. Just a warning, this story has just the slightest spoilers for Joiner King, but not in a very apparent way and only through my interpertation of implied events. This story takes place between the events of Unifying Force and Joiner King.
Feedback and critique much desired!
I own an enchillada. But not Star Wars.
Ersatz 1/1
She's going to leave me. I know when I wake in the morning, she'll be gone and I'll submit my resignation of my post as liaison to the GA and return to Csilla. And that will be that. No more frantic rearranging of schedules to have a shot at a chance of maybe getting to hold her for a few hours. No more waking up to her warm breath on my throat.
It's done. We're both so exhausted and still fumbling to find footing in life after the war, it would make any relationship hard to manage, but one of you is so embroiled in self doubt that she can't even give a yes or no to a marriage proposal, it makes it impossible.
So tonight I was selfish and I was rough, there were no soft words, no time taken, no quarter given. A momentary flash of guilt flashes through my conscious but its brief and expelled with the knowledge that in the morning its me that will hurt more than she tonight.
It was an attempt at punishment as juvenile as that may seem, but she took it and she understood it, and in a deeper way I think she appreciated it.
For now I'm stealing moments until she's gone from my arms and my life. Her lithe body creviced into mine, arms wrapped like creeper vines though my own and head tucked beneath my chin, my lips pressed to the mess that is her hair.
This isn't how the holodramas end. No convient conclusion where all live happily ever after in the stars away from strife and decisions and life and consequence.
Just the gapping knowledge that this is it and as much as I rail against it, nothing can keep her here, nothing can convince her, and nothing can make me not want her. I have to close my eyes and breath deep to keep the impending sob from waking her.
My hands begin to rove, the calluses of my palms prickling the smooth of her back and I feel her begin to stir. I manuvere her beneath me before she wakens completely. I'm greedy with her, holding her close and forcing her to feel all of me. A feeling of exhileration flows through me when I feel her small hands digging into my shoulder blades encouraging me on.
But I take my time.
And why not? This is my last taste of happiness.
Damn her.