A/N: My old story 'Angel of Mine' has been taken down. This story will have the same plot but, I'm redoing everything because I read it last night and it all just plain sucked. I hadn't updated it in a while and I wasn't happy with where my story was going so, I'm redoing it with a new title and new material and I hope you all will like it. Story name is from the Muse song 'I Belong To You' and the chapter name is from The Veronica's song 'Someone Wake Me Up'. Enjoy.
-yourxwonderwallx
I Belong To You
Chapter 1 of 7
Someone Wake Me Up
A Twilight FanFiction
World: New Moon, the book
Author: yourxwonderwallx
Moving. It was a difficult task for me at the moment. My body shut down but, my heart and my mind were fully intact. My heart skipped a beat every time thunder rolled during a storm and when a brush of cold would wash over me. My mind pictures his face, his touch. My mind remembered everything. "It will be as if I never existed." He told me, and kissed my forehead. He disappeared from me physically but my mind was still intact. I followed him, it was my first instinct. I followed him until I couldn't remember where I was. I tripped, fell and I didn't bother getting up. I curled into a ball and let my darkness wash over me.
That was two weeks ago. I hadn't moved from my bed since I was placed in it. I couldn't move. I wanted to but, I couldn't. Dr. Snow had been here several times to check on me. I could hear him speaking to my dad outside my room. "Charlie, she's possibly in a catatonic state. She should be committed." He said told my dad. I wanted to bolt from the bed, and tell him I was fine but, I couldn't. I was a statue stuck in a moment I couldn't get out of. I felt Jacob kiss my forehead. I heard him tell me it would be all right. But, I couldn't respond to him.
When I would sleep was the worst of it. I would dream. I would dream about that night at the ballet studio. The night my life changed forever. The night I was close to becoming a vampire. My dreams were never peaceful. I would scream. But, I would never speak any words. Charlie sits with me when I sleep. He tries to wake me up but, he can't. He never can. I need someone to wake me up but, that someone is not here anymore. I want to hate him, I want to but, I can't. I think of him and I wonder if he is in this hell that I am in? I wonder this most of the time, when I try not to sleep. But, wondering won't get my anything. At least nothing good.
"Bells, sweetheart. Its mom." She said in a low voice. I counted to three and I took a deep breath, trying to speak. My lips wouldn't move. I tried to but, I couldn't. It was impossible. I wanted to because I hadn't seen her since March when I was attacked. The pain was holding me back from saying anything and the hole in my chest was helping my sorrow and despair sink to new lows. If my mom was here then, my dad was at a loss which didn't surprise me. Most people just move on but me, I'm stuck here in a rut of missing my undead true love who happens to be my ex-boyfriend.
We, Edward and I, were doomed from the start. He told me once he couldn't live in a world where I didn't exist. I guess that meant even if we were apart he would still be able to live. I was hoping that he wasn't living, if that's what you call it. Because it would make me feel better at least a little. I would still love him. I still love him. I want to move on, I want to but I can't. I need him in my life. I don't remember my life without him in it. I can't. I won't. He changed my life and we promised each other forever but my clumsiness got in the way of everything. I got a paper cut, and instead of running away; I stood there like an idiot and knowing Jasper hadn't been away from human blood as long, I just stood there.
It was my fault. I blamed myself and I was going to keep blaming myself. It was inevitable because I was letting myself think that if I had done something, anything then they would be here right now and everything would be as it was before. But, before was anything from normal that's for sure. I missed my not normal life. I missed my boyfriend who barely kissed me because he was afraid he was going to lose control. I would give anything for him to be here with me, because we would be playing baseball right now; because of the thunderstorm that was coming into town.
I would smile if I could right now. It made my smile, playing baseball with them. Or just being with them. They were family to me. But, they were gone and somehow my mind was going to accept that but, it would be with time I was sure. Edward was my mate. He was everything to me and is most ways he still is, and always will be whether he wants me or not. Eventually, when I got better I would find them. Or he would come back. One day, someday we would be together again.
"Bella, can you hear me?" He said to me. It was Edward's voice. I swear it was. "Snap out of this. Please. Go on with your life. Forget about me." He said and I blinked. I blinked for the first time, and it felt like years since I last had. "Bella, for Charlie's sake. Go on with your life." He said, and my lips moved. I licked my lips, they were chapped. My throat felt hoarse. When I took a breath, it scratched against the back of my throat, and it burned.
"Get out of my head." I faintly said. "You lied." I whispered to myself. "You promised it would be as if you never existed." I forced out. I let out a sigh and I bolted upright. My eyes blinking wild. But, he faded away. My mind was playing tricks on me. I saw him, I swear I saw him. I thought I saw him. I shook my head, and I took another fiery deep breath before I pushed myself up out of the bed. I felt my arm giving way on me, I was weak. I probably hadn't eaten in a while. But, I pushed up farther, turing around and sitting my feet on the side of my bed.
"Bella, sweetheart?" My mother asked knocking on the door.
I took a deep breath, air filling my lungs and burning as it did. "Come in." I said, my throat was scratchy and my voice was hoarse. "Come in." I said a little louder this time, and I heard the doorknob creek, which meant she was turing it.
"Oh thank god. Charlie, she's up." My mom yelled down the stairs and I closed my eyes, fire filling lungs as I took another deep breath. "Drink this." she said, thrusting a glass of water in my face. I took the glass, downing it. It made my throat feel better. "Better?" She asked and I nodded. The first drink was painful. I felt tears swelling up in my eyes. It hurt but, the pain was what I needed.
"Much." I said, my voice returning to normal. "How long have you been here?" I asked her faintly, in almost a whisper. The last time I remember moving was that day in the woods. The day when I lost him. I remembered tripping and falling. I also remember not wanting to get back up. I had lost all will and desire to even move again. It hurt to much. It felt like someone had taken a large wrecking ball and aimed it right at my heart. I remembered feeling the pieces of it breaking.
I remembered the dreams that I had but, my dreams weren't anything. I always had dreams. But, these dreams they were different. It was like I was reliving that night at the ballet studio. I knew I was screaming and then the screaming subsided. The sleep just took me over. But, the loss of desire was there to. I had desire to do anything. My one reason for even staying in Forks was gone. He was it for me, and now he was gone.
"A week. Bella you scared me so much. Don't ever do that again." She said hugging me and I smiled. It felt weird for me to smile, I guess because I thought I'd never smile again without him here.
"Oh thank god." My dad said, crouching on his knees. "I need to call Dr. Snow." He said and but I grabbed his shirt and stopped him.
"No. I'm find dad." I told him, with a pleading look in my eyes. "I'm fine." I felt chills on my spine. I heard a car door slam. A door that wasn't familiar to me.
"I'll be right back." My dad said and my mom smiled at me. M dad took the stairs two at a time, and opened the front door then stepping out. I never got a change to know who was at the door, although I don't think he wanted me to know.
"I found these things in your floorboard." She said handing me a box, and I opened it. It was the tickets from Esme and Carlisle, the CD Edward made me, and the necklace Rosalie gave me but, Alice picked out. Edward's shirt was there too. I smiled, memories running through my head. The pictures of us were even there, ones from the summer and the one Charlie took of us on my birthday. More memories came into my mind, and I felt tears falling.
I hadn't cried yet. I was just here, existing. I needed to cry but, I couldn't. I figured it would be better if I did. I then felt the tears at the corner of my eyes, and I let them fall. But, there were only a few. I felt my mother move, and stiffen and put a sympathetic hand on my back. I reached for Edward's shirt and I slid it on. I immediately felt better. When Edward was with me, or not with me but, here in Forks. When his presence was here there was a fire that was inside me and, this fire was returning the longer his shirt was on me, the more I felt him here with me.
"There is no way you're coming in my house." I faintly heard my father yell. I could imagine his face turning different shades of red and purple. This made me smile.
"I'm going to check on your father." She said going down the stairs.
I sat there on my bed, and I looked around my room, and I eyed my surroundings. I saw my computer, sitting there on the desk. I contemplated going to it, and writing him, or writing Alice but, I was sure they'd covered their tracks. I was sure that they wouldn't get anything I wrote to them. I closed my eyes, and I closed my eyes. I could feel his arms around me. His ice cold hands cooled down my body. He was stroking my hair, and he was humming my lullaby. I smiled, but that smile didn't last.
I opened my eyes. I opened my eyes and he was gone. The memories of him were everywhere, haunting me. I couldn't stand it. It killed my heart. I couldn't wish him back to me. I couldn't even will him back to me. He lied to me when he left, and he continues to lie to me. I will never forget him, no matter what. It could never be as if he never existed. Because even though he didn't mean for me to find what he'd hidden there was still the pain, and the memories.
If, that is was I needed to keep him alive then that's what I would do. He made me promise not to do anything reckless. But, that wasn't withholding to me. He promise me in the hospital he would never leave me. Yet, here I am alone and falling apart. My heart's been shattered into so many pieces that the only way it would get them all back would be to find him and get back what caused the shattering in the first place.
I glanced at my computer again but, I still couldn't go to it. I had no will to move. I didn't have the desire. But, I knew what I had to do. I had to find him. I had to. That was the only thing I could do. Once I got the fire I needed and the desire, I could move and, if I could move then I could go after him. I could undo what he'd done. But, that would probably require going to somewhere that wasn't so sunny and they could be themselves. It wold be tricky but, if I could just find the desire to move then I cold find them.
I snapped out of my thoughts once I heard the front door open. "Mr. Swan, I respect you and all but, I need to see her." I heard him yell. My mind was racing with thoughts. Then I remembered the voice, there was pain there. It was Jasper. It was him, I knew it was.
I forced myself off of my bed, and ran to the window in my room that overlooked the front yard. I was right. My mind wasn't playing tricks on me. Emmet was there too, and Jasper. He was getting testy with my father. I smiled and I ran to my closet, attempting to find clothes that didn't smell.
I searched and searched. I finally landed on jeans, and a tank top. I'd decided that Edward's shirt wasn't leaving me. I felt overjoyed that they'd come back. There was a reason for all of this, and they weren't staying. I'd given up hope they would stay but, after all of this it was Emmett and Jasper. Something was wrong. I quickly changed and ran a brush through my hair.
"Bella, what are you doing?" My mother asked, startling me.
"I'm going downstairs." I answered brushing past her taking the stairs two at a time trying to get to them. I swung open the front door quietly and I stood there and listened.
"I think Bella should decide this." Emmett answered and I cleared my throat startling the three of them. I felt my mother behind me, her hands wrapped around my waist trying to hold me back.
"Let me go." I hissed to her and she released me. I ran towards them, flinging myself into Jasper's arms. "What's going on?" I asked letting go. I felt the pieces slowly coming back together again. My mind was racing with thoughts. There was a reason for them being here and I wasn't sure. But, it was big because Jasper was here.
"Its good to see you Bells." Emmett said pulling me into a huge bear hug.
"I can't breathe." I managed to get out and he released me. My mind was panicking now. I'd thought of a reason and it was scaring me. "I'm going to ask you this and be honest because my mind is in overdrive right now trying to figure out why the two of you are here and not Alice and Carlisle. So, just tell me. Did he go to The Volturi?" I asked them, taking a second to catch my breath. They both stood there, just looking at me. "Did he go to them?" I asked again.
My dad took a few steps back and joined my mother on the porch, eyeing every move any of us made.
"No, he went after Victoria." Emmett answered me.
I let out a sigh of relief. He was alive, at least for the better sense of he word but, not literally. He was almost safe. "Why?" Was all I cold muster out. The reasons he had for going after Victoria didn't matter because it would get him killed if he did it. She was after him. Why would he go after her unless he wanted to die.
"We don't know. The night of your birthday Jasper and I drove nonstop to Denali everyone else followed the next day. Edward said he would join us there when he left Forks. He still hasn't shown up. He won't answer his cell phone and he moves on whenever we get a good lock on him." Emmett said and my mind was racing again.
He was in pain. He was in just as much pain as I was. But, he was going after Victoria. That was still unclear to everyone at the moment. I thought I knew him better than anyone. The reason he went after James was to protect me. Then it hit me. Victoria was coming after me. She wanted revenge for James. Edward killed her mate so she was going to kill his.
"I know why he's going after her." I said, startling them. "Dad, will you and mom please give us some privacy?" I asked, and I turned to face them. He looked at me for a long second and I let out a smile. "Please?" I asked and my mom nodded.
"Come on Charlie. Let's go inside." She said, tugging his arm, and dragging him into the house.
"Why is he doing it?" Jasper asked me and I sighed.
"Victoria wants revenge but, when James was after me, Edward went after him. He's doing it to protect me. Victoria knows Edward killed her mate so she thinks it is only fair to kill Edward's mate." I said and they both looked at each other.
"You may just be right." Emmett said and he took out his cell phone and walked away.
"Why are you here?" I asked Jasper. I knew he was going to give me some bogus answer but, I had to know. Especially now since I was positive my life was at stake.
"He is miserable Bella. Esme has convinced him to come back and talk to her and Carlisle. We are bringing you to our new house. Once he gets there you will arrive. Then the rest is up to you. It was a single drop of blood and I couldn't control myself. I have no idea why. We did blood typing in Biology last year and I was perfectly able to control myself. So, I'm making this right. It's my fault we left. So, I'm making it right." He said and the wind picked up, blowing the scent off of Edward's shirt right into his nose.
"What is that?" Emmett asked rejoining us.
"It's Edward's." I said in a quiet voice and my yes fell to the ground.
"We need to get going. It's a long drive." Jasper said to me.
"Give me a few minutes." I said, walking up the front porch step and I turned around. "Now is going to be a good time for the mood control thing." I said and Jasper and Emmett joined me on the porch and went with me inside.
"What's going on?" My dad asked as Emmett shut the door.
"I'm packing a bag and I'm leaving with Jasper and Emmett. I'm going and neither of you are stopping me. I have to do this. Pleas understand." I asked them, and I left Jasper and Emmett alone with my parents.
I slowly walked up to my room because I was attempting to listen to the conversation that was about to unfold. I was hoping that Jasper was working his mood control thing on my dad so it would be easier. Once I reached the top of the stairs I gave up and walked into my room. I packed a bag and grabbed what I needed from the bathroom.
I was rushing to get done, to get going. I even grabbed my computer. I had to keep in touch with someone from school to at least know what I'm missing. I'd walked past my bed at least ten times in the last ten minutes. I'd been going so fast, I didn't stop to think. I passed the pictures of Edward and I, sitting there on my bed. There were so many of them that Alice had taken.
They made me smile. For once, I was smiling again. More than before. This idea of Jasper's, it had to work because if it didn't, I don't think I would survive. I can't live without him. Edward has made me crazy since my first day here in Forks. First, with hiding the truth and, then with the truth. I've always seen myself in his world. But, he didn't anymore after a simple little paper cut. So, it's time for me to prove to him I belong with him. I belong in his life, and I definitely belong in his world.
I picked up the house phone and I dialed the number. A number I was sure was disconnected. But, it rang. It rang and then went to voicemail. It was a good sign that he didn't ignore my phone call but, then there was his voice. "If you've gotten my voicemail, it means I don't want to talk so leave a message." He said. The pieces of my heart that he rebuilt shattering again right then and there.
I could hear the hurt and the pain in his voice and it killed me. He did want me. He knew I belonged to him. He knew I belonged in his world but, he was hiding from me. He had to have been. So, I waited for the beep, and then it came. "I know you think I don't belong, but I do. So, I'm going to find you. And, if I'm right if you've gone after Victoria because she's coming after me, you don't have to. Really. I will be fine. I will be find as long as you are in my life. And, if I'm right you're in the same excruciating pain that I am in. I'll see you soon." I said, forcing the last part out. I hung up the phone and I was going to put it back on the cradle when I felt a cold chill.
I stood still, and I felt it coming closer. It wasn't Jasper or Emmett. They would just knock on my door. Not come in through my open window. Then the fear set in. She was here, she had to be. "Show yourself." I demanded turning around. She was there, standing not a few feet away from her. Her red hair burning like fire.
"He left you here unprotected. So pathetic." She said. She moved towards me, grabbing me by my throat. "This will hurt a lot. Your mate killed mine so its only fair that I kill you." She said throwing me against my closet doors. I crashed into them, shattering them. I thought about moving but, that would require me getting up which at the moment I couldn't do. "You're a pathetic human. You cold try to fight." She hissed at me.
I looked in her eyes. They were red, the same eyes that James had. They had desire in them. "I have no reason to live anymore. He's gone. He didn't want me anymore. So go ahead, kill me." I said in a low quiet voice. I saw her smile, and then I felt myself being thrown through my closed bedroom door.
I tumbled down the stairs, landing at the bottom. I landed on my stomach, my head looked to the top of the stairs. She wasn't there. "Bella." was all I heard before everything went black.
I woke up, and Jasper was there, and Emmett. So were my parents. I thought it was a dream. I could have sworn it was a dream but, it wasn't a dream. I saw up on the couch, and my mother kneeled down beside me. She was worried, they all were. My head was pounding but nothing else hurt. "Bella, what happened?" She asked me, and I stood up, balancing myself with the armrest.
"It was Victoria. Jasper she was here. I was right." I said and I fell into his arms. I was crying now. I couldn't stop crying. "You have to find him Jasper. You have to tell him not to come. You have to because she will kill him too. You can't let him do this anymore." I said in between tears and sobs.
"Bella, look at me." He demanded and I looked at him. He held me up, and he wiped the tears from my face. "Edward will be find. Emmett is taking care of that. We really have to go now. Rosalie and Alice will be here soon and they will stay here and protect your parents. But, you are coming with us." He said ignoring my fathers protests.
"Emmett go get the bag that Bella has upstairs and meet us in the car." Jasper said, putting his arm around my waist to steady me, to be able to walk.
"She's not going anywhere." My dad is in a hissed tone. He was stern but, he had no idea what was about to happen. If Jasper or Emmett got mad it could be detrimental to my father's life and health.
"Dad, I'm going. I'm eighteen and you can't stop me. Edward needs me right now just like I needed him when I got hurt in April. I'm going to him and you're going to stay here under protection and you're going to like it." I hissed at him and we went to walked out of the living room when my dad reached for Jasper's arm and spun him around.
"If I have to shoot you, I will." He said and I was helpless. I was stuck in between a rock and a hard place. "Renee, go get my gun. It's by the door." He said in a stern voice.
"Let go, now chief Swan." Jasper said to him through gritted teach.
"Not a chance." He said and in the blink of an eye, Jasper had my father against the nearest wall, one hand pinned to it and his other hand on his throat.
"Bella, talk him down. He hadn't fed today." Emmett hissed in my ear. My eyes went wide.
"You let him come here without feeding, are you crazy?" I yelled at him. I calmly walked over to Jasper and I put my hand on his shoulder.
"Back off Bella." He sneered.
"You won't hurt me and you know it. Just let go, and think about Alice and the rest of your family. They wouldn't want you to do this. I don't want you to do this. I know you're hungry and I know you still blame yourself for what happened at my party but, that is in the past." I said to him calmly. He didn't move. "Remember in the ballet studio, I was bleeding everywhere and you controlled yourself. Remember?" I asked him again.
"Yes." He said removing his hand from my father's throat.
"All right then. Let him go, and think about that night. Edward had to stop at some point because he would have killed me otherwise. At some point you have to know when to give in and when to let go. Please right now just let go Jasper." I pleaded with him and he stepped back, releasing my father.
"I'm sorry." He said before disappearing out of the house. My mother's eyes did a double take as did my fathers.
"We are so screwed once Carlisle finds out about this." Emmett muttered under his breath.
"Well then, what's wrong with Jasper?" I heard from the doorway. I looked to find Rosalie standing there before she moved by Emmett's side.
"Long story. Have you fed?" I asked her and she nodded.
"Jasper let some of the surprise out." Emmett said to her and she looked at my parents.
"You won't need that, I promise." She said, and took the gun from my mothers hand. "You two need to get moving. Edward will be there by the afternoon tomorrow." She said, taking a whiff of me. "If he finds out Victoria was here is will go postal." She warned and we left the house, shutting the front door behind us.
"Bella, thank god." She said hugging me. "I see I have some explaining to do." She said, looking in the front window.
"Its my fathers fault. He didn't know any of it, and he was just trying to protect me." I said to her and she nodded.
"Go and save my brother. We will take care of them, and Victoria if she comes back. I promise." She said, as I got into the backseat of the car and she shut the door.
As Jasper pulled away from my house I wondered when I would see it next. I turned in the backseat and looked out the rearview mirror. I watched the house fade in the distance. I saw the darkness fall upon it and it occurred to me even if I never saw it again that it wasn't my only home.