This accidentally became a sort of companion to "Sleepless", in that it has a lot of similar themes going on. Not intentional, but I don't mind... A bit flashficcy, just skimmed over once or twice. Enjoy.
The Knights aren't the only ones haunted by dreams of Emeraude. A Fuu/Ferio oneshot with an emphasis on Ferio's loss of his sister.
Unfair Trade
Sometimes, just for a second, out of the corner of his eye or in the morning when his vision is still blurry or if he's had too much wine, she looks just the tiniest bit like his sister. Her eyes, soft and sad. Her hair, in golden ripples around her face. To actually look, the two don't appear alike at all. But every once in a while, just for that fleeting moment, she seems like Emeraude come back to life.
He hadn't seen his sister in many years before the summoning of the Knights, though he suspected she had looked much the same up until the end. Her portrait in the grand hallway was exactly how he remembered her. When he thinks nobody is looking – usually well past midnight when her face haunts his dreams – he stands beneath her portrait and talks to her.
The official portrait of the Pillar, he's been told, was always displayed proudly in the main entrance of the Council's (previously called the Pillar's Court) offices. Since this castle was built when Cephiro was crumbling, and after the Knights restored balance to the country, Emeraude's portrait has been hanging in honor and remembrance. It's one of the first things you see as you pass through the grand entrance hall. She is always lit by enchanted candles, her tender features glowing softly as she gazes down, still watching over her people. It was decided that her portrait would be displayed as a reminder of the citizens' duty to uphold the country, and in honor of the sacrifices made by the Magic Knights.
Ferio scuffs his heel against the carpet, eyes lowering to the bundle of flowers someone has left on the floor beneath the portrait. It was certainly one of the Knights. He's seen all three of them, on separate occasions, stand here for long periods of time when they think nobody is looking, not unlike himself. This bundle looks like it is probably from Hikaru – the stems are roughly cut, bound with a tattered red ribbon. His throat is tight; he swallows a few times but it still stings.
As he reaches up to rub the back of his neck, his palm brushes his earring. He pauses, then lets his fingers close around it for a moment. His gaze flickers back up to his sister's portrait. She's smiling down at him, her pale hands folded in her lap with no jewelry of any kind on them. No ring. His hand fell to his side. Yes, she'd given them to him instead. And who had he gifted one ring to? Her executioner.
He takes a long breath. If his sister had been a perfect Pillar, then Fuu would never have been summoned to Cephiro. He would still have his untouchable sister, alive and strong and ruling over the country. He would continue to simply miss her instead of mourning her.
He exhales slowly, deliberately. If his sister had been a perfect Pillar, he would likely still wear both rings. He would still be performing and cheating so he could buy food. He would be a nobody, an easily ignored wanderer. And he would not be sharing a bed with Fuu for three days every month when the Knights visit.
In losing Emeraude, he gained Fuu.
Disgusting for him to think that way. It wasn't a trade. It just happened that way. He knew when he met her what she would have to do, and he let himself care anyway. Maybe because he knew. Does it make things better, he wonders, to have gained Fuu's love? He slips the ring from his ear. It fits over his finger easily despite the fact that they were once identical (he was sure they were enchanted since the other so easily fit on Fuu's finger). He slides it off again, holding it up and gazing through the opening, a round frame around Emeraude's innocent face. It was terrible of him to think that a lover can replace a sibling.
"Ferio?"
The soft voice startles him and he nearly trips backwards. He turns to the source, already knowing who it is. "What're you doing up?"
Fuu turns her gaze to the floor, folding her hands over her abdomen. "I awoke from a nightmare. You weren't there. I was too shaken to stay in bed, so..." She trails off, smiling weakly and shrugging. "I am just taking a walk."
He replaces his earring as she speaks. "You had another." She nods, glancing sidelong at Emeraude's portrait. He steps towards her. "The same?" She opens her mouth slightly to reply, then shuts it quickly. She just nods silently once more. He leans closer, unsure if he should take her into his arms or not. Sometimes she gets this unreadable, untouchable sort of air about her when she's particularly distressed.
They stand this way for a minute or so before Fuu finally speaks. "Why are you down here?"
It's a fair enough question. It's the middle of the night and he's walking around the castle in his robes. He didn't even think to put on shoes. Fuu is still in her "peejay pants" and "hooded tee". She fiddles with the strings that hang from the hood, staring at him expectantly.
"I dreamed about her, too," he says softly.
Her expression falls. She bites her lip and folds her hands. "I believe it's been three years since I was first summoned to Cephiro," she murmurs.
He knows what she's trying to say. Three years and all of the Knights are still sometimes haunted by nightmares. They put on proud, happy faces for the citizens but the people closest to them are all too aware. Fuu knows Ferio doesn't fault her in any way, but as he watches her take quick glances at Emeraude's portrait, then back to him, then to the floor, he can see the guilt eating away at her.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there," he offers.
She forces a smile. A fake one. It's not the smile that he wants to see on her face. "I can't depend on you every single moment of my life."
This time he does draw her close, pulling her by the shoulders and pressing his forehead to hers. "You can, though." He places a light kiss on her lips. They're trembling. "I wish I'd been there."
"You wanted to be with her," Fuu whispers, her hands curling against his chest. "I understand. I did, too, it seems."
He crushes her against himself, pressing his face into her hair and breathing deeply. She's warm and real and here. Emeraude isn't. A few minutes pass. Fuu's trembling subsides and her hands finally come up and clutch at his back, melting into him. "I apologize for being so much trouble," she breathes against his neck.
"Stop," he sighs, pulling back to look at her. "You're not being any trouble." He raises one eyebrow at her. "And you know it."
She smiles just a little, and it almost reaches her eyes. Her arms rest on his shoulders. "What was your dream about, if I may ask?" She tips her head to one side and her bedraggled curls, usually so perfectly tidy, fall over her face.
His memory of the dream is already patchy and blurred. "Weird mix of memories and ideas," he replies, grasping to remember details. "I remember being real little, sleeping in the same bed as my sister. In the dream we were both sick from eating something we shouldn't've, and she kept trying to give me these eggs from under her pillow. She kept saying they'd bring me luck."
Fuu's eyes soften. "Why luck?"
He nearly chuckles. "Because dreams." He brushes a tangled curl from her face. "It wasn't sad or scary like sometimes my dreams about her are. But y'know, I still woke up sad. And I wanted to see her." He shrugs.
"You realize that you didn't close the door behind you when you left," Fuu says. "The hall on the third floor is always cool and I woke up a bit chilled." Her eyes are looking more alert. "Someone could have walked right in."
He's happy to change the subject. "How disgraceful of me!" he replies, scooping her into his arms. "What if a monster had come in to take you away? I'd have to go to all the trouble of rescuing you just because I can't make sure the lock clicks!"
She's laughing just a little, just enough to lift his spirits. She wraps her arms around his neck, wriggling so that his hand presses more directly against her bottom. He doesn't mind. "But Ferio, I am not only a magical knight, I am a brave and strong young woman. I don't require rescue. I can quite take care of myself."
"Nope, nope, I won't hear of it," he replies. "While you girls are off battling and all that, I have nothing to do besides worry. You gotta meet me halfway and let me rescue you when you get in over your head."
And she smiles, she really smiles, with her whole face and her body and her eyes. She pulls his face to hers and she nuzzles him. "Why don't we compromise?"
"That's not compromise?"
"I suggest be both rescue each other when necessary. I believe I have gotten you out of quite bad situations before, all on my own."
"And I suggest we don't keep tabs on who rescues who more," Ferio quickly adds, realizing that she's saved his behind much more than the other way around. She's laughing, all traces of her nightmare gone. "Yeah, you know why," he adds, winking.
"Surely you aren't ashamed of being rescued by a girl?" she teases.
He lowers her to the floor. Her stockinged feet brush against his toes. He lifts her hand, brushing his lips against her knuckles. "I'm honored to be saved by the most beautiful Magic Knight to ever exist."
"Oh, hush," she flushes, pulling away and waving a hand at him. But she's smiling.
They fall silent for a few seconds before Fuu turns back to Emeraude's portrait. "I suppose we are being irreverent," she says, referring to the seemingly sacred area.
Ferio shakes his head, his fingers finding hers. "What's that on your hand, huh?" She lifts her free hand, a plain gold band on her fourth finger. She looks back at him. "She'd want me to be happy. I think she'd want you to be happy, too."
She looks sad again, but stronger than before, her dream behind her now. "I suppose." She lifts a curled finger to her mouth, thinking. "In the end, when it was over, she thanked us, after all. I don't believe she bore us any ill will."
She gasps as he suddenly pulls her against himself, not as gentle as he'd intended. He holds her close, tight, his arms wound around her shoulders, pressing her into his chest. "I know she didn't," he mutters.
Her breath is warm against his neck and her body is soft and her breathing is soothing and he is tired of thinking about his dead sister tonight. Fuu is here. If he holds her any tighter he might break her, he thinks, but she's not close enough. Reluctantly, he relaxes his hold on her. She tips her face up, and she's smiling at him. She looks nothing like Emeraude, is all he's able to think before she grabs his face in her hands, crushing her mouth to his.
End
