Pass The Orange Nail Polish Please...
Disclaimer: We don't own anything obviously. Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling, Tamora Pierce, J.R.R. Tolkien, Lemony Snicket and various other genius People.
(In the Hogwarts' dungeons, Tom Riddle A.K.A. Voldemort A.K.A. You-know-who
A.K.A He-who must not be named, Wormtail, Sauron, Sarumon, Count Olaf, and
Duke Roger of Cont`e.)
Voldemort: Ugh! She's late... again...
Roger: I told you. Women are good for ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!
Saruman: Wormtail, I thought I told you to tell Voldy, to tell Olaf to tell Sauron, to
tell Roger, to tell her to be here at six. It's already ten after.
Wormtail: I did!
Saruman: Yeah, sure like last time at the mall...
Wormtail: It isn't my fault-
Voldemort: Don't call me "Voldy."
Sarumon: (Absent mindedly) Sorry Voldy...
Voldemort: (growls) Sarumon...
Olaf: (haughtily) Well if our Miss Goddess of the Dead doesn't get here soon, I'm
gonna-
Goddess of the Dead: (Walks in with hands on her hips) Or what, Olaf?
Roger: (grumbles) 'bout time...
GOTD: Oh, put a sword through it, you Antifeminist- good- for- nothing- duke.
Roger: (grabs sword) Why I otta-
GOTD: Hello!!! I'm the Goddess of the Dead. That means I can make you
become dead!
Wormtail: Wait a second I thought he was dead!
Voldemort: Oh, that I gave him the recipe for the potion I used to come back.
Roger: Yep! Thanks, Voldy.
Voldemort: Don't call me "Voldy!"
Olaf: That still doesn't excuse the fact that she's late. (All others nod and grin
evilly. Goddess of the Dead turns slightly pale. Voldemort grabs his wand,
Sarumon grabs his staff, Sauron fingers his ring, Rogers draws his sword, Olaf
grabs a rope, and Wormtail just sits there because he's too stupid to do anything.
All start forward, grinning insanely.)
GOTS: (Backing up) Um...Guys...(no one replies. Olaf dives at her, followed by
everyone else. A big dust cloud forms, like the ones you see in cartoons where
you can see occasional body parts and weapons sticking out. Finally, dust clears
and Goddess of the Dead is tied up and everyone is pointing their weapons at
her.)
Roger: Give us one reason why we shouldn't kill you right now.
GOTD: First off, DANG! I mean I know you guys are murderers, but you guys
seriously need to take a Chill Pill. Second off, I CAN'T DIE I'M A GODDESS!
Lastly, I brought the nail polish.
Sauron: Well than you should have told us! (Everyone drops weapons on the
floor. The Goddess still fumbles with ropes.)
GOTD: Um...hello...remember me down here? (No one replies) All right, I'm
gonna count to three and if no one unties me I'm gonna... gonna...BREAK ALL
THE NAIL POLISH!!! (Everyone rushes to untie her) Thank You. (Someone
knocks on the door.)
Voldemort: What if it's Harry?
Roger: What if it's Alanna?
Olaf: What if it's the orphans? Wait a sec. Almost everyone's enemy is an
orphan. What I mean is, is it Violet, Sunny, and Klaus?
Saron & Saruman: Whatever! What if it's someone from the Fellowship?
Wormtail: What if it's one of the marauders?
GOTD: (Sarcastically) Or what if it's a pink fuzzy bunny rabbit? HONESTLY!!!
Men are such idiots. You six are supposed to be murderers!!!
Roger: Men aren't idiots! (Sniffs)
Olaf: I'm not afraid of anything.
GOTD: (Raises eyebrow) Then why are you holding Wormtail's hand. (Olaf
scowls and lets go of Wormtail's hand.)
Voldemort: (Frustrated) Then who is it?
GOTD: (Sarcastically) Gee, I don't know. Why don't we open the door? Just as
long as it's not- (Door opens)
GOTN: (Perky) It's me! I was waiting and no one opened the door, so I just came
in.
GOTD: (Puts on a forced smile) Hello, Goddess of the Night.
Disclaimer: We don't own anything obviously. Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling, Tamora Pierce, J.R.R. Tolkien, Lemony Snicket and various other genius People.
(In the Hogwarts' dungeons, Tom Riddle A.K.A. Voldemort A.K.A. You-know-who
A.K.A He-who must not be named, Wormtail, Sauron, Sarumon, Count Olaf, and
Duke Roger of Cont`e.)
Voldemort: Ugh! She's late... again...
Roger: I told you. Women are good for ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!
Saruman: Wormtail, I thought I told you to tell Voldy, to tell Olaf to tell Sauron, to
tell Roger, to tell her to be here at six. It's already ten after.
Wormtail: I did!
Saruman: Yeah, sure like last time at the mall...
Wormtail: It isn't my fault-
Voldemort: Don't call me "Voldy."
Sarumon: (Absent mindedly) Sorry Voldy...
Voldemort: (growls) Sarumon...
Olaf: (haughtily) Well if our Miss Goddess of the Dead doesn't get here soon, I'm
gonna-
Goddess of the Dead: (Walks in with hands on her hips) Or what, Olaf?
Roger: (grumbles) 'bout time...
GOTD: Oh, put a sword through it, you Antifeminist- good- for- nothing- duke.
Roger: (grabs sword) Why I otta-
GOTD: Hello!!! I'm the Goddess of the Dead. That means I can make you
become dead!
Wormtail: Wait a second I thought he was dead!
Voldemort: Oh, that I gave him the recipe for the potion I used to come back.
Roger: Yep! Thanks, Voldy.
Voldemort: Don't call me "Voldy!"
Olaf: That still doesn't excuse the fact that she's late. (All others nod and grin
evilly. Goddess of the Dead turns slightly pale. Voldemort grabs his wand,
Sarumon grabs his staff, Sauron fingers his ring, Rogers draws his sword, Olaf
grabs a rope, and Wormtail just sits there because he's too stupid to do anything.
All start forward, grinning insanely.)
GOTS: (Backing up) Um...Guys...(no one replies. Olaf dives at her, followed by
everyone else. A big dust cloud forms, like the ones you see in cartoons where
you can see occasional body parts and weapons sticking out. Finally, dust clears
and Goddess of the Dead is tied up and everyone is pointing their weapons at
her.)
Roger: Give us one reason why we shouldn't kill you right now.
GOTD: First off, DANG! I mean I know you guys are murderers, but you guys
seriously need to take a Chill Pill. Second off, I CAN'T DIE I'M A GODDESS!
Lastly, I brought the nail polish.
Sauron: Well than you should have told us! (Everyone drops weapons on the
floor. The Goddess still fumbles with ropes.)
GOTD: Um...hello...remember me down here? (No one replies) All right, I'm
gonna count to three and if no one unties me I'm gonna... gonna...BREAK ALL
THE NAIL POLISH!!! (Everyone rushes to untie her) Thank You. (Someone
knocks on the door.)
Voldemort: What if it's Harry?
Roger: What if it's Alanna?
Olaf: What if it's the orphans? Wait a sec. Almost everyone's enemy is an
orphan. What I mean is, is it Violet, Sunny, and Klaus?
Saron & Saruman: Whatever! What if it's someone from the Fellowship?
Wormtail: What if it's one of the marauders?
GOTD: (Sarcastically) Or what if it's a pink fuzzy bunny rabbit? HONESTLY!!!
Men are such idiots. You six are supposed to be murderers!!!
Roger: Men aren't idiots! (Sniffs)
Olaf: I'm not afraid of anything.
GOTD: (Raises eyebrow) Then why are you holding Wormtail's hand. (Olaf
scowls and lets go of Wormtail's hand.)
Voldemort: (Frustrated) Then who is it?
GOTD: (Sarcastically) Gee, I don't know. Why don't we open the door? Just as
long as it's not- (Door opens)
GOTN: (Perky) It's me! I was waiting and no one opened the door, so I just came
in.
GOTD: (Puts on a forced smile) Hello, Goddess of the Night.