I've been in the mood of Drarry lately, so in a moment of angst I wrote this short story, but somehow it kind of ended up more like an introduction.
AU as in it does not follow the books. Timeline is not set. Drarry means shipping Draco and Harry. No likey? Don't bother reading.
Disclaimer: I am not the creator of the world of Harry Potter, I simply borrow some of its characters and do as I please with them *evil grin*
No Time For Us
I sit through breakfast, chewing the food, not really tasting the taste. My friends chatter excitedly next to me, seemingly unaware of my absent state. The empty feeling tearing at me, with every breath. My eyes are cast down, for once, not brave enough to look up. It is a foreign feeling, lacking the very trait that put me in Gryffindor instead of Slytherin; bravery. Merely a word, but what difference it holds. Was it bravery or simple lunacy? The question gnaws on my mind, as if it was infested by a million tiny spiders, happily eating me away from inside out.
I push the food around the plate, finished. My stomach protest, churning from hunger, but I cannot stomach it. I feel ill. Something claws underneath my skin, my eyes stinging from the memory of last night. A part of me is gone, stolen away by a vicious prophecy. What did it know? What did it matter?
The secret I cherished unlike any other, is gone, away forever. How are we, you, supposed to walk away from it? Pretend that it never happened, mattered. The only memory I have left will be the bittersweet – secret – meeting. The one where you held me, one last time, as your red stained eyes fought back tears, those same tears I fought. We shared one last kiss. There was nothing passionate about it, in fact, your lips felt foreign and cold. You told me to hold on, to wait, but your words were empty. The undertone grim. There is no future for us.
You were the only one who knew me. Me, Harry. Who am I supposed to turn to now? Who will you turn to? I feel more alone than ever. The darkness surrounding me is deafening. I gasp for breath but feel like I am suffocating. I have so much more to say to you. More than those few words uttered while desperately clinging to you, holding on, unwilling to let go. We are not done, the chapters may be unwritten but I know they are many.
My fists clench. Rage fights its nasty way out. I feel like running over to you, clobber you straight in the face, force you to stay, to be here forever. I need you here, with me. Don't you see that without you, I am nothing? You leave me to be the empty shell of a prodigy, condemned to walk through this war, alone. And so will you.
My gaze flicker, anger pushing, not bravery. You may be only a few feet away but it feels like a lifetime is between us. You have always been better at hiding your feelings. You worked your mask of arrogant indifference into perfection from an early age. It did not used to be but now it is clear as the sky to me. I don't know how I was ever fooled by such an obvious charade.
You say it is to protect me, that our secret would eventually be my doom. I could tell by the sincereness in your eyes that you were speaking the truth, and there was a moment I wished I had never known this part of you. I want to hate you, to throw away every last piece of you but I love you. I love you. I bite my lip. I am weak. I cannot keep my gaze up any longer. It burns and I am afraid I will tear up right here, next to my friends, the very ones I must never tell.
Today is the day. The one I have been dreading for so long. I cannot believe I'm about to let you walk through this alone. I was supposed to be there for you, to comfort you after. Now? Who will you share your fears with? Who will you turn to, to strengthen your mask when it is just about to crack? The imaginary space next to me is empty. The closeness I once felt, of having you near me, even if not physically, is gone. There is nothing left here, of our secret, of you. Nothing to remind me but the picture of your back, turned, leaving me. I'm stripped naked to the core, no hope for us, no future. There will be nothing left of me, on you. For today is the day, the day you become his. Today is the day, you get your mark.