Oh So Pretty
Chapter One
Disclaimer: Don't own.
A/N: I was sitting at my computer at 11:30, munching on popcorn, when BAM! Inspiration hit me like a bug on a windshield. Hope you enjoy this.
Voldemort sighed as he lounged is his ornately carved silver throne. Beautiful snakes with emerald eyes twisted to make the arms and back. Black cushions made the seat comfortable. The room he was in was long and rectangular with the huge chair being the only furniture to adorn the place. For a moment, Voldemort drifted back to the past, to a time when the Throne Room had been host to four long tables with benches on either side. A shorter table with proper chairs had been at the end, where Voldemort now sat. The candles that had floated in the air were replaced with torches on the walls, again snakes, with the flames seeming to pour out of their mouths. The ceiling still reflected the outside sky, because Voldemort liked it and by Golly, if Voldemort wants something he gets it, and woe to the person who tries to interfere.
Yes, to those of you brighter than a shoebox.
Voldemort had taken up residence in Hogwarts.
Why Hogwarts? Well, Dumbledore had been right on the money when he said that Voldemort admired symbolism and irony. That and Hogwarts was super funky. So when the war was over and Evil had triumphed, Voldemort packed his suitcases and moved in.
Albus Dumbledore's private office had become his private bedroom. The Great Hall became the Throne Room. Voldemort had offered the second best office, formally belonging to Minerva McGonagall, to his second-in-command, who had politely turned it down so he could return to his office in the dungeon.
Ooo, you're two for two, now.
Severus Snape was Voldemort's Number Two.
Severus was the obvious choice, of course. You don't whack someone Voldemort feared as much as Dumbledore and not get rewarded somehow. So Voldemort had given the lucrative position of Second-in-Command to Severus (and not Lucious Malfoy), and breathed a sigh of relief. You see, Voldemort had ordered Narcissa Malfoy to make Severus do the whole Unbreakable Vow thingummy. Voldemort had been concerned about Draco's nerve and about Severus' loyalty. So, the evil genius had killed two birds with one stone, or rather, a really troublesome old fart with one spell.
With a sigh, Voldemort stood and began the long trek back to his rooms. His rooms were way cooler than the Throne Room, and tricked out with tons more evil stuff and snakes. He also needed to decide what to wear for dinner...
"SON OF A GRIFFINDOR!" Severus yelled, dropping a jar as he began choking and hacking as a purple smoke, a shade that can only be described as 'fruity,' began to fill his workroom. With a simple wave of his wand, the smoke disappeared as did the orange goo from whence it came.
Severus stared at the wreck of melted cauldron that was left. Two weeks. He'd been working on this potion for two bloody weeks and at the last step something had screwed up and ruined the whole. bloody. thing.
Sweeping over to the jar that he had dropped on the floor, Severus began closely examining it's contents. It was labeled 'Newt Spleen' but on further examination contained newt gallbladder. Severus gripped the jar and seethed. Draco Malfoy had to be the most worthless Apprentice/Errand Boy/Gigolo that Severus had ever met. Draco's gigoloness even outweighed that of Harry Potter, James Potter, and Sirius Black. COMBINED. It was pretty obvious what had happened. Severus had sent Draco out for a five minute trip to Knockturn Alley to get a pint of newt spleen. It had taken him nearly four hours. Let me see, thought Severus, That's one hour to primp, another hour to primp after arriving by floo powder, because Slytherin forbid anyone see him covered in ash after traveling through chimneys. Two minutes to get the spleen whist being distracted by some pretty girl, and the rest of the time spent flirting with said girl, until she leaves because she feels less pretty than him. Snape sighed and began to fumble among his stores for a headache potion. Yep. That about covers it.
All of a sudden, a House Elf appeared with a loud CRACK. He bowed low before Severus before speaking, "The Dark Lord Voldemort, in his infinite Knowledge, Wisdom, and Good looking ness, who is know world-wide for his Killer Fashion sense and Gorgeous Figure, not to mention Luxurious Black Hair, commands you to come to his chambers immediately." With another CRACK, the house elf vanished.
Severus grimaced slightly at the title as he removed his I HEART POTIONS apron and began to ascend from the Dungeons to Voldemort's rooms. I hope the Dark Lord isn't in dire need of that shampoo that was just wrecked...
Next chapter up soon...reviews are nice...