A story for my Hunter X Hunter 2016 Christmas Challenge on AO3. Anyone interested come join!

Prompt: Someone gets the best present possible. Bring on the fluff.

Minus the fluff...

Slumping down in his chair, Kurapika could still hear Machi's words. "Consider this our Christmas present. You and the boss really need it."

There's a soft chatter of voices throughout the room. Most of the words are soft, but hiss with venom. The room falls silent as the problem hunter who's working as the counselor for the day raises her hand. "Show of hands now, how many of you have had your significant other try to kill you at least once."

He looked around the room as hands slowly slid up. There was a general sheepish air hovering at about palm-level, some couples weren't able to look each other in the eye.

Being a Hunter apparently didn't lead to good relationship choices.

Chrollo, notably, kept his hands by his sides.

"Really?" Kurapika asked.

Chrollo shrugged.

"The mafia literally paid me to assassinate you and that was just a bonus to me. Killing you was my life goal and I attempted to do so even after the bounty was rescinded. Multiple times."

"True, however, I don't think that really counts."

"I held a knife to your throat this morning!"

"But did you really?"

"Yes!"

A frustrated groan came from Kurapika before he bolted up from his seat. "it's been a blast, and we should never do this again sometime-"

"I completely agree, we don't need to be here. I already have the perfect solution to our problems."

"And that is, oh brilliant one?"

Of course, because he always has to push his luck, Chrollo said, "We should get married."

"The fuck? You won't ask me out without a job in mind, but you'll propose?"

"I have a logical argument as the foundation for that statement—"

"You fucking better."

"Medical decisions could be diverted to other parties. If one of us is incapacitated or injured, which is likely given our line of "work", access could be restricted since we're not currently in an active de facto relationship."

Arms crossed, Kurapika glared down at him completely unconvinced. "As much as I would love the chance to pull the plug on you, that's unlikely since both Machi and I have healing abilities. So no. How many more of these do you have?"

Chrollo counted on his fingers. "Ten."

"You get two. Go."

"Burial and funeral arrangements if—"

"One, and don't be morbid."

"It will certainly annoy Nobunaga."

"That could be fun," said Kurapika trailing off. He paused and his face twisted up like he'd bit into something foul. He had not just agreed to this insanity. Nope, nope, nope, not at all. He sighed. "You're so dead when we get back to the hideout."

"I love when you talk dirty to me."