PaRT 1: SNAPE CONFESSES HIS LOVE FOR HAGRID

One fine day at hogWARTS hagrid was walking throught the forbidden forest when he noticed something on the ground. He picked it up and placed it in a glass jar so he could take it back to his shack and investigate. When he got back to his shack he found snape waiting outside.

HAGRID: Snape what brings you here.

SNAPE: Oh i was just looking for you, you big sexy mess of hair

HAGRID: Would you like to come inside?

SNAPE: Oh yes. Can I see your bedroom?

HAGRID: I thought you'd never ask…

SNAPE: Oh Hagrid what is that thing in the jar?

HAGRID: I don't know I must ask Dumbledore later

SNAPE: Oh Hagrid you are so smart……and sexy. Please show me your penis. Please hagrid….PLEASE!

HAGRID: Oh Snape I feel the same way. BANG ME! Right here. Right now.

Snape and Hagrid have wild, passionate sex.

Part 2: The missing penis is discovered

Dumbledore comes to visit Hagrid's shack.

DUMBLEDORE: Hagrid are you in there? I know you and Snape are going at it. You should really close your shutters while having sexual intercourse.

HAGRID: I am quite sorry. I didn't know you could see everything.

DUMBLEDORE: It's quite all right. May I come in….?

HAGRID: Please join us. I've been dying to see under that robe. OH YEAH BABY!

DUMBLEDORE: One thing….I kind of lost my penis in the forbidden forest this afternoon.

HAGRID: OH! I found it! It's in a glass jar inside. I can sew it on for you with my tool set.

DUMBLEDORE: Oh that would be smashing my darling.

Part 3: THREESOME—HAGRID, DUMBLEDORE, and SNAPE

HAGRID: Oh Snape! We have someone who wants to join our penis party

SNAPE: oh Dumbledore I knew you would come. That was me who slipped you that love note the other day…

DUMBLEDORE: well lets get on with it…I need to be back in 20 minutes

HAGRID: Don't you worry….you'll have an orgasm within 5 minutes.

Dumbledore sticks his head in between Hagrid's legs and gets quite comfortable. Snape begins to lick lick Hagrid from his head to his toes. They get it on and on and on.

DUMBLEDORE: Hagrid, what sweet vas deferens you have

HAGRID: All the better to sex you with my dear

DUMBLEDORE: But Hagrid, what big hairy balls you have

HAGRID: All the better to rub you with my dear

DUMBLEDORE: But Hagrid, what a big, floppy butt you have

HAGRID: All the better to shit on you with my dear

AND THAT'S DERTAYY TALK FOR WIZARDS.

Something is happening to my scar

Meanwhile back at the castle……

HARRY: Hey Ron…I gotta tell you something mah brother from another mother

RON: What is it Harry? Is your scar telling you sexual things again?

HARRY: Yes it's hurting….alot.

RON: Oh no what if its voldemort!

HARRY: No silly its not him…..i having a vision….a dertayyy one

RON: Harry are you picturing Hermione naked again?

HARRY: Of course not you cracker jack. Im seeing something else. Hagrid, Snape, and Dumbledore…THEY'RE GOING AT IT!

RON: BLOODY HELL!

HARRY: Oh my scar. Its killing me. Im seeing such dertayy visions. Help me ron.

RON: Harry….does your scar ever change color?

HARRY: NO…why?

RON: YOUR SCAR IS HOT PINK!

HARRY: WHAT? Oh no it must be because I am having a sexual fantasy

RON: We must alert Dumbledore!

HARRY: I cant.

RON: why?

HARRY: Because my scar is showing me things….weird things. AAHHHH! I SEE HAGRID SEWING ON DUMBLEDORE'S PENIS!

RON: BLOODY HELL YOU SICK BASTARD

HARRY: These visions…GET THEM OUT OF MY HEAD!

Harry passes out because he is unable to handle sexual visions of his school teachers.