Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock. Also, mentions of abuse in this chapter.

A/N: This was co-written with the wonderful writer par-0x-ysm who can be found on tumblr. I wrote as John and she wrote as Sherlock. Bolded words are meant to be texts. The perspectives do change back and forth.

"Here's my love, take it. Here's my soul, use it. Here's my heart, don't break it. Here's my hand, hold it and together we will make it forever."

-Unknown

Chapter I

Sherlock lay on John's bed and stared angrily at the ceiling, focusing on the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck on it. "I just don't get why you chose to date her!" He spat.

"Well, I like her, Sherlock." John sighed as he stared at his agitated friend. "We've already been over this."

"But she's mean to me." He said childishly, pouting and picking the comforter. "She said she didn't like me." Sherlock lent into his bag and grabbed a cigarette flicking it in his hands.

"Sherlock." John groaned as he picked the cigarette out of Sherlock's fingers. He gave Sherlock a pointed look. "I'm not asking you to like her. Just to tolerate her. For me."

Sherlock reached for it and pouted more. "You can't just take my cigarettes away and make me like your girlfriends." He complained.

"Sherlock." John raised the cigarettes out of Sherlock's reach and raised an eyebrow. "These will kill you Sherlock. You need to stop. And I'm not. I care for you." John pursed his lips and gave Sherlock a reprimanding look.

"I don't care." Sherlock muttered, making a face and looking away. "You care about your girlfriends, not me."

"You don't mean that." John pushed Sherlock further in, making some space on his bed for him to sit down. "I do care about you, Sherlock. Even more than my girlfriend. You're my best mate. Nothing will ever change that."

"Right," Sherlock mumbled, turning away and curling into a ball. "Doesn't stop me hating them."

"Sherlock, listen to me." John sighed in frustration. "I don't expect you to like them. Like I said, tolerate. Please, don't do the thing you did with my previous girlfriends. I really think that Angie and I could work. Please, mate."

"Fine." Sherlock muttered, pulling the covers over his face and ignoring John. He hated Angie. He hated all of John's girlfriends. They didn't even deserve to touch him, let alone be able to be in relationship with him. What did Sherlock get? Nothing.

John scrunched his face in confusion, clueless to the cause of Sherlock's agitation. John tentatively touched Sherlock's shoulder. "Is there something wrong? Sherlock?"

"John, don't." He mumbled, pushing his hand away. "Don't do that." Sherlock said again, scrabbling to the other side of the bed. "I shouldn't even be here, I should be at Seb's." Sherlock muttered, pushing his feet out the covers and looking around. Panic etching his features.

John's worry and concern grew deeper as he watched Sherlock flinch from his touch and back away from him. There was a manic look in Sherlock's eyes, one that reminded John of a cornered animal, and one that he had most certainly never seen on his friend's face. There was something bothering him and John was determined to help Sherlock in any way that he could. "Sherlock? What's wrong? Please tell me what's going on so I can help you."

"It's not important." Sherlock muttered, pulling his sleeves over his hands and trying to hide his panic. "I just... Seb will be angry if I'm not there."

John frowned. Clearly, Sherlock did not want to talk about this, and if so, there was no way John was going to get anything out of him. "I... okay." He watched his friend make his way over to the door. "Sherlock. Just... if you need someone to talk to... I'm here. For you."

"I can't talk to anyone John, okay?" Sherlock muttered, reaching for his shoes and frowning.

"Me, Sherlock, you bloody idiot. You have me. You can always talk to me." John stood up, crossing his arms as he faced his friend.

"It's not really that easy to tell the guy you're in love with that your boyfriend beats you up after sex and that you wish you could be with him instead." Sherlock said, rushing through the words and opening the door. "I have to go."

John stood dumbly in the middle of his room, before he responded. All he could hear was Sherlock's love confession. He loves... me? "Sherlock! Wait!" He made his way after his friend, forgoing his shoes in his haste. He pattered barefoot after his best mate.

Sherlock stopped and turned around, trying to hide the tears in his eyes. "It's okay, I got it, you have a girlfriend."

"I..." As John stared at Sherlock, who was obviously trying to hide the tears in his eyes, John realized one very crucial and life-changing fact. He wanted nothing more than to embrace Sherlock, this being that had seen so much and experienced so little love in his life. He wanted Sherlock to know that he would always be there for him, that he would always care for him, no matter what. He wanted to tell Sherlock the same three words he had just told John. Bloody hell. John blinked. John was in love with Sherlock.

"I really need to go." Sherlock mumbled, looking down and trying for a smile. "It's okay. I hope you guys have a good night or whatever." He turned away, and jogged down the stairs, not looking back at John.

John stared at the spot where Sherlock had been standing several moments before, dumbstruck and unable to move. In just a few minutes, Sherlock had turned John's life upside down and twisted what John thought was his secure sexuality inside out. He was in love. Not with his girlfriend Angie. Not with any woman to that matter. With a man. And not with just any man. He was in love with his bloody best mate. "Fuck." John whispered to himself. "Fuck."

Sherlock ran outside and swallowed heavily, running a hand through his hair and beginning to walk to Seb's house. He bit his lip and wondered why he'd even said anything, John didn't feel the same. Not at all, and all he'd done is mess it up.

John walked back to his house in a daze, unable to understand his feelings. He was in love with Sherlock. His best friend. Jesus Christ. John laughed, his voice nearing hysterics. "Sherlock Holmes, I am in love with you." His only response was the cold night air and the rustling of leaves.

Sherlock stopped outside Seb's apartment, and frowned. He got out his phone and hesitated for a moment, before quickly texting two people.

[To Seb] I can't make it tonight, but I can make it up to you tomorrow? SH
[To John] I'm sorry, forget what I said. SH

He pressed send and walked home.

John's phone vibrated, signifying a text. He looked at his phone. It was from Sherlock. John wasn't sure if he could deal with this right now. He needed to calm himself. John pressed the power button, and after a few seconds, the screen of his phone turned black. He made his way into his house, nervous about the moment that he would have to see his friend again.

Sherlock opened the door to his dorm room and slammed the door, sinking against it and closing his eyes. His phone buzzed, and he hoped it was John, only to feel his stomach clench when it was Seb.

[From Seb] Yeah, you better. SM

Sherlock threw his phone against the wall and didn't move.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave a review!~ And don't worry, the chapters will get longer. :)

-omnomchocolate