Okay, first thing-no offense is meant to ANY fan fiction writer who has written a death fic. Some of those stories are the most well written that I have ever (usually accidently) read. But for a Caskett shipper who writes 'fluffy angst' and emotionally doesn't do well with reading anything else, running across one of those stories can put me into a major funk. To get out of those funks, I usually just imagine a 'Castle/Beckett was only dreaming and he/she wakes up and sees that their partner is just fine' scenario. That tends to do the trick for me. But I have talked to others who aren't writers and they have told me that they don't tend to whip up a story in their heads whenever they are trying to fall asleep or waiting at the doctor's office and forgot to bring a book or….I was talking about this with EvaKAlways and mentioned how I had thought about writing down one of my 'It was only a nightmare' scenario and she said she would be glad if I did so that she could read it when she stumbles across a death fic (or a permanent break-up fic, which are almost as difficult to read as death fics). Although this has seriously morphed from the original idea….But I'm okay with that, since there are plenty of well-written nightmare fics out there already.
So here it is, another one of my 'I was GOING to wait until this was finished to post it' things. But I'm really curious what you all think of this and where you think it's going. Although Natalie Elizabeth and EvaKAlways (who have the inside scoop) be careful not to give any spoilers!
EvaKAlways-if I didn't get your personality right, sorry about that. I'm just kind of using a general Caskett shipper template for the character since I don't know exactly how you'd react to every situation in this story. (That also goes for any of Eva's family members) Amazingly, neither Natalie nor I will be in this story. LOL
Flashbacks are in italics.
Disclaimer: If only…. I wish I COULD do character development as well as Andrew Marlowe. If only he taught creative writing classes….
Why?!
This time Eva didn't even try to hold back the tears that made a steady trickle down her cheeks. She'd held it together through the first story, although she still wasn't quite sure how. By the end of the second story she couldn't stop shaking. Now, after the third…
Three death fics in a row. None of which had a 'major character death' warning or even 'tragedy' as one of the story genres.
Hurt/comfort? Really?
Romance/angst? Could they possibly be serious?
And the third just said 'General.' True, it had been that author's first story (although why he or she would have their first story be a 'death fic' Eva couldn't imagine) so she could give the writer a little lee-way. Especially since she knew she could never write any type of story herself. She admired others who had the gift but it wasn't one she shared.
It's just a story, Eva reminded herself sternly.
Which it was.
But it wasn't.
It was Caskett. There was no such thing as 'just' when it came to Caskett. Not for Eva. It had been that way since the first moment she'd seen Castle's (okay, technically Nathan Fillion's, but anyway) deep blue eyes sparkling with child-like glee as he realized (well, technically as he said what the script writer had written, since he wasn't real and so didn't 'realize' anything) "Our killer's a super hero!" That had not only been the first episode of her favorite TV show that she saw, but the first scene of that particular episode.
Four months ago now that felt like four years….
Nothing.
She remembered nothing.
The doctor had told her that her name was Eva, a claim substantiated by the couple standing anxiously on either side of her hospital bed, who looked to be in their late forties or early fifties. Her parents, evidently.
Retrograde amnesia, the doctor had called it.
That, for whatever reason, had sounded familiar.
Odd, when nothing else had.
Eva let out a sigh of relief when 'her parents' (it just seemed weird to call them that, since to her they were total strangers) left to go get something over at the hospital cafeteria. It was draining to keep up the pretense of being 'fine.'
After a few minutes of trying to remember something, anything at all about her life and winding up with nothing other than the beginnings of a headache, Eva picked up the TV remote on the rolling table by her bed and began flipping through the channels.
Until she saw HIM.
Eva gasped.
He was…..
He was….
Excited that their killer was a super hero?
Eva didn't know whether to roll her eyes or laugh.
Were all cop shows like this?
Wait. How did she know it was a cop show? Was she remembering something?
Maybe she had seen it before the car accident that had stolen her memory!
The commercials ended before Eva could figure it out. And once he was back on the screen she couldn't focus on anything else.
It didn't take Eva even ten minutes to figure out that the two lead characters, Castle and Detective Beckett, were in love with each other.
Evidently she was a romantic because once that realization hit her interest in the episode doubled. No tripled. No….there just wasn't enough numbers to express how much of a difference that knowledge made to her. Times infinity, maybe.
Although was that a real number?
Didn't matter. Because that wasn't the point.
The point was that for the first time since she'd woken up in a hospital bed without even the slightest hint of whom or where she was, Eva felt like she finally had something to hold on to. Like she was standing on solid ground instead of on a ski boat in the middle of the ocean during a hurricane.
"Castle," she whispered, startled when the sound of her voice reached her ears. She had heard it before, of course, but she hadn't meant to say the man's name aloud.
Well, the character's name.
Because, obviously, he wasn't real.
Eva scowled at the pain that slashed through her heart at the thought.
Was she like this before? So emotionally invested in fictional characters that it impacted her real life?
She had a feeling the answer was yes.
"Kiss him!" Eva yelled at the screen when the duo stood watching the elevator doors close on another 'writer and his muse.'
For some reason that word, muse, irritated her.
But it was mild in comparison to her frustration with the female homicide detective.
Okay, so she wouldn't kiss him in the precinct. But couldn't they hurry into the next elevator and finally give into the feelings they'd been holding in for so long?
So long?
Eva almost laughed at that. She'd only known about this couple for about half an hour. The fact that she felt like she'd known them for years was a bit ridiculous.
"Eva, what in the world?"
"What?" Eva whipped her head around to look at the startled woman (her mother, she had to remember this woman was her mother) standing at the doorway.
"What are you shouting about?" the woman (her mother, her mother, her mother; Eva needed to think of her as such even though in her mind she was the next thing to a complete stranger).
"I-" How could she possibly explain. Her mother (Yes! She finally got it right!) wouldn't understand. Eva herself didn't even understand.
"She should have kissed him," she mumbled.
"What?" Her mother (she got it right again!) walked over to her, put her hand on her shoulder and looked over at what had so caught her daughter's attention.
"What is that?"
"A TV show, Mother," Eva said, rolling her eyes and wincing at the sharp pain in her head that the small action caused.
"But why were you yelling?"
"It's nothing." She was lying but she didn't have the physical or mental energy to try to explain. Lying was easier.
"Eva-"
"Please, Mother, I'm tired. I just want to go to sleep. But…"
"What?"
"Would you-" Eva felt silly for asking but she needed to watch more. It was the only thing that made sense in this mixed up situation. "The show is called 'Castle.' Would you see if you can find any seasons on DVD? Please? It will give me something to focus on. And, who knows, maybe it will help me remember."
"How is a TV show going to help you remember anything?" her mother wanted to know.
A reasonable question. But Eva didn't have any reasonable answers.
"All right, I'll see what I can find," her mother said with a sigh.
Relieved that she didn't have long to wait before she could see him again, Eva fell asleep before her mother even finished shutting the door.