Jacob's POV. Takes place from Chapter 4 of Blood Moon Rising chapters. I had thought about how to see from Jacob's view. I am still writing part 2

Changes

The pain shot through me like a bolt of lightning, burning like a thousand suns. Then I must have passed out. It was suddenly dark, but I could still hear voices. Was I dead? Were those angel's voices I heard. I recognize one of the angels, my Nessie. Oh, no, she knows what I've done. I wanted to surprise her. She surely will be angry with me for sneaking out like that.

"Maybe we should take him to the doctor?" What the heck is Charlie doing here? Nessie must have brought him as back up. Things were coming back to me. I was getting feeling back. That feels nice, she's petting my head.

"No, I'm okay." I finally spoke. What's up with my voice? What happened to me? Oh, yeah, now I remember. I had the elders take the wolf out of me so I could be normal like my Nessie. I opened my eyes and saw that beautiful face I love so much.

"Hi." I said. Why was she crying?

"Why Jake? Why did you do this? You didn't have to do this for me."

I slowly sat up and looked at her bewildered.

"I'm okay, Ness. Maybe I did this for me. We are the same now."

Why is she still crying?

"No, Jake. You shouldn't have." Then she started hitting me. She was mad at me? "You could have died! Why did you do that?!"

I know what will help. So I grabbed her from hitting me and kissed her. Well, that didn't help, she is still mad at me. Man, she is sexy when she gets mad.

"I did this for us. It was harmless, trust me. You have nothing to worry about."

She got up and started to storm off. Where is she going? I started to go after her. I grabbed her arm and turned her to me. It was like those old black and white movies, where the hero was chasing the love interest.

"Why are you so mad? I thought this was what was best for us. It'll be better this way, you'll see." Why was she looking at me like that? Was it that bad?

"No, Jake. You're wrong."

She started to leave, and was running away from me. Where is she going? Wait. Don't leave! I called after her, but she kept going. So I chased her, like an idiot. I almost caught up to her when a car pulled up. Wait, there's Edward. What is he doing here? Wait, why is she leaving?

"Nessie? Wait!"

Too late she was gone. I went back to First Beach to retrieve my things. The guys were still there. They were all giving me sad looks. "What?"

Seth came to me and patted me on the shoulder. "Tough break, Jake. I hope she's not too mad at you."

"Thanks, Seth. Me too." I put my shirt and shoes back on. I better call her. I remembered I left my phone at my Dad's. I looked to my Dad who was talking to Sam. "Dad, can I come to your place to call Nessie?"

"Sure, son. No problem."

I said good-bye to the guys, and I followed Dad to the house. I quickly grabbed my phone off the counter where I left it, and called Nessie. Why isn't she answering the damn phone?

"Ness, its Jake. Where are you? Why did you run off like that? Where did you go?" She must have gone back to the Cullens'. "I'm heading to the Cullen house. We need to talk. Call me if you get this message." She's not taking my calls. What is going on with her? Was she really that mad, that she won't even talk to me?

I said good-bye to my father, and ran over to the Cullens', but I was not fast anymore. I almost forgot. I was out of breath too. Well, I have to get used to this. No speed, get tired. What else? I am human now. No wolf powers what so ever. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. But why wouldn't it be? We would both be human. Normal people in a weird world of vampires, and shape-shifters. But I don't care, I have my Nessie and that is all that matters. I hope she will forgive me for whatever she is mad at me for, and then we can move on and plan our life together. She is my fiancée now. Wow, this running is tiring. I should have grabbed the motorcycle from Dad's garage. If it even ran. Probably hasn't been started in 2 years. So I went back to my Dad's and borrowed the motorcycle. It didn't start right up, but after a few cranks, it was revving like a chainsaw again. That is so much better. I rode the motorcycle and pulled up into the long obscure driveway. I parked the motorcycle close to the garage and set it on the kickstand. I ran into the house, not even knocking. Maybe I should have knocked coming into a house of vampires. Especially being human now, it's like the prey walking right in to the lion's den.

"Hello? Anyone here?" I decided to announce myself first.

Just then Bella appeared from the living room.

"Jake? What are you doing here?"

What does she mean? She knows. I'm sure Edward told her. Where is Nessie? Is she hiding from me now, too. I started to frantically look for her, even started to go upstairs. Bella followed behind me. "Where is Nessie?"

"She's not here, Jake."

I looked at her confused. "What do you mean? Where is she?"

"She left with her Dad."

What the hell? Where did she go? I needed to talk to her.

"Why? Where did they go?" I was clearly getting anxious now, worried even.

"She went home."

"Home, like, home, home?"

"Yes, to New Hampshire."

"When? How did I miss her? Why didn't you stop her?" Was I yelling?

"Jake, calm down. She left right away with her father. She needs some space. She asked me to talk to you."

I was fuming. If I were still werewolf I would have changed already.

"Space?! She had to go all the way to New Hampshire to have space?"

"Now, Jake, sit down and let's talk. Okay."

"I don't want to sit down. I'm going to catch the next flight to New Hampshire."

"No, Jake." She put her hand on me. I shrugged her off. "You need to give her time. She's very confused right now."

"I'm going to call her then." I grabbed my cell phone out of my pocket.

She's not answering again. She maybe on the plane. I hate leaving messages. "Hi, It's me again. I just talked to Bella. You rushed out of here so fast. Why? Please call me. I need to know what's going on in that head of yours." Why was she avoiding me? "I love you." I hung up the phone.

I looked at Bella, looking in her eyes. She could never lie to me. She was a terrible liar. "Bella, what did she say to you?"

"Not much really. Edward said she was scared and confused. She told him your wolf spirit was taken from you, and it really frightened her. She was upset that you went without telling her. You should have talked to her more about it first. She thought you were dead."

"Okay, I know. But I wanted to surprise her. I wanted to be normal for once. I couldn't wait anymore."

"You are welcome to stay here for a while, Jake. That way you can be close by if she calls."

"I appreciate that. I just don't understand why she would have left to go home."

"She's confused. She needed some time to sort things out without you confusing her more."

"Great. So how long do I have to wait to talk to her?"

"I don't know."

I was feeling frustrated and anxious. "I'm going to go clean up a little. Let me know if she calls, okay?"

"I will."

I went upstairs to get a shower. I took a cool shower to calm me down. I was getting anxious. I thought I was having a heart attack. I even started hyperventilating. What is wrong with me? The cool water was relaxing me. I changed into some sweatpants and laid on the bed in the guest room. I tried to close my eyes, and replayed the beach scene over and over in my head. The fire shooting into my chest, and then Nessie, my sweet Nessie, stroking my hair, and rocking me in her arms. Crying on my chest. Waking up to her beautiful face, wanting her, needing her. Then she was mad at me, and slapping me on my chest. I wondered why she was mad, wanting her more. Kissing her soft, full lips, and feeling the heat of her body close to mine. But she was still angry at me, yelling at me. She ran from me, so I chased her, grabbing her and pulling her to me, wanting her more. Wanting to rip the clothes from her and take her on that beach. Then she ran away. Ran with her father. Her blood-sucking, interfering father, Edward! Why did she leave me alone? I missed her already. I missed her beautiful face, her sweet natural scent, the curves of her body, the soft kisses she gives me, my tongue exploring her mouth and tasty skin, her touch on my bare skin igniting the fire that rose inside me as she caresses me, the sounds she makes as I excite her. How much I wanted to love her, and have her all to myself, being inside her and feeling her ecstasy each time I made her climax. The heat from our love making, as we reached the pivotal point of …

I must have been dreaming. I woke suddenly. I calmed my self down. Wow, that was some vivid dream. Why do I torture myself so?

I got another cold shower, and got dressed. It was nearly 2 am. What was I doing up? I went down to talk to Bella. I saw her in the living room reading.

"Hi. Have you heard from Nessie?"

"No, sorry." I ducked into the kitchen and called Edward. If Nessie wouldn't answer her phone, I'll have Edward put her on the phone.

"Edward, Hi, can I speak to Nessie?"

"No, she's sleeping Jake. It's late. Maybe she'll talk to you tomorrow." So he's keeping me from talking to her too? What is the deal?

"I really need to talk to her."

"I'm sorry Jake."

"What is going on with her? Why did she take off instead of talking to me?"

"I don't know what to say. She's very confused right now."

"You don't think she is second guessing our relationship do you?"

"No, I don't think so." Why won't he tell me what she's thinking? Why is he being so vague? He's probably hoping we break up. He can't stand the fact I'm with his little girl. "Let me talk to Bella, now, Jake."

"Well, okay. Tell Nessie I love her."

"Okay I'll tell her." I doubt it. I went back into the living room and handed the phone to Bella. "Edward would like to talk to you." I said coolly.

"Thanks."

I overheard their conversation. "Hi, Edward." How could she talk so sweet to him? He's keeping Nessie from me. "How's Nessie? I know what you mean. She has gone through so much so fast…I'll try to but you know how stubborn he is." She was talking about me. Was she going to keep me from her too? "Okay, I'll talk to you soon. I love you, Edward. Don't forget to keep her fed. She likes vegetarian food. Okay. Good-night." I laughed to myself. My Nessie, the vegetarian half-vampire.

"So what's going on, Bella?"

"She's asleep right now. Maybe you could talk to her tomorrow."

"Yeah, if she ever answers her phone."

"Just be patient, Jake."

"I can't. Our lives are at stake here. Why are you both keeping me from her?"

"We're only respecting her wishes."

"Ridiculous!" I stormed off and went to the guest room. I laid on the bed and tossed and turned. I tried listening to my ipod, hoping that would calm me down. I tossed for hours, then finally fell asleep. I started having this horrible dream. I dreamt there was a dark figure similar to another dream I had. The figure was luring Nessie away from me. He was faceless, but she was strangely attracted to him. Then she was kissing the dark figure. I was helpless to watch them. I couldn't wake up. I was yelling at them, but they did not hear me. I was trying to reach them, but I was glued to my spot.

Then I woke up. I was sweating and grasping the sheets. My throat was scratchy and I was hyperventilating. I tried to breathe evenly. Who is this dark figure? Why is he in my dream?

It was late morning. I wondered if Nessie was awake. I tried calling her phone again. No answer. "Why won't you answer your phone? Please, Ness, I love you. Are you still mad at me because I asked the elders change me? Call me, please." Maybe I'll call Edward.

"Hey, Edward. Is Nessie around?"

"No. She went for a walk."

"Oh, I'll try her cell phone again."

"No, she didn't take it with her." He's doing it again!

"When will she be back?"

"I don't know. Not long. She's been gone for a couple hours now."

What would she be doing walking alone? What is she thinking about? God, I miss her.

"Okay. Well, I'll try her in a little bit."

"Alright, Jake. Talk to you later."

I waited "patiently", watching the clock. 10:30, surely she was back by now. I decided to wait until 11. I paced back and forth in the guest room. I just wanted to throw something, hit something. Why can't she return my call? I don't care if she doesn't even say anything, as long as I can hear her breathing. Okay, I've waited long enough. I speed-dialed her number again. It was ringing. Come, on, answer the damn phone!

"Hello?"

It was her. She finally answered. "Ness, it's me Jake."

"Hi, Jake." She didn't sound happy to hear from me.

"You are mad at me, aren't you? That's why you didn't answer the phone, and why you ran off."

"Jake, I just need a little time. I'm very confused right now. And yes, maybe I am a little mad at you for going behind my back and going to the elders. We needed to talk about it more. You didn't even give me a chance to talk you out of it. You didn't have any thought or care for what I wanted. You just did what you thought was best for me. I don't need you to protect me all the time, Jake. You may think I'm a fragile little human girl, now, but I'm not. Now, what if something was to happen and I will need you to protect me, and you are merely a human. You will barely be able to protect yourself."

Well, I never thought about it that way. I guess I should have talked to her about it. She would have just convinced me to stay werewolf, and what would happen if I phased too close to her, she'd end up like Emily? I only did this for us. But she's right, maybe I jumped the gun. Maybe I made a mistake. I won't be able to protect her like I could before. Oh, my god, what have I done?

"I'm sorry." What have I done? No wonder she is mad. Now, I cannot protect her. I am just a stupid human! "Maybe I should let you go for now. I'll talk to you later." Damn, I'm crying now. What a Wuss! A Wuss and a dumbass! "I love you, Ness."

Stupid ass human, idiot!!! I slammed my phone into the wall, breaking it into a thousand pieces. Now, I really did it! What an idiot. I scooped up the pieces of my phone, and dumped them into the trash. A few moments later there was a knock on the door of my room. I opened to Alice standing. She was looking at me funny.

"Yeah, Alice, what do you want?" I was still mad at myself.

"Are you alright? I heard a noise. Did you break something?"

"Just my cell phone." What did she want anyway? Did Nessie send her to check on me? Maybe she does still care.

"Oh." She was still looking at me funny.

"So what do you really want, Alice?"

"That's weird."

"What?"

"Oh, nothing."

"What Alice?" I was getting frustrated with her.

"You're different, but something is the same."

"Of course I'm different, I'm human now! A stupid human. So you want to take a nibble, or what?" I pushed my neck toward her. "Is that it? Go ahead. I know you want to. Get it over with."

"No, thank you." Alice said gracefully, but turning her nose to me.

"What? My blood not good enough for you?"

"Jake, do you have a death-wish?"

"No, why?"

"You should know if I bite you, you will potentially die. But for some reason, your blood doesn't even appeal to me."

"Oh, great, now my blood is no good, too? Just put me out of my misery would you?" I held my wrist to her.

"Jake, that's enough. Nessie would be upset if she heard you talking like that."

"Why, I'm just a stupid human? My life means nothing to her now."

"Jake, that's not true. She asked me to keep an eye on you. Would she do that if she didn't still care?"

"Do you see Nessie and I together, Alice?"

"What do you mean?" She looked away. She sees something.

"You know what I mean. Look into my future and tell me."

"I can't."

"You can't or won't?"

"I can't see Nessie. You know that her future is uncertain."

"Can you see me?"

"That's what's weird."

"You can't see me either, but I thought with me being a stupid human, you could see me."

"I don't know, Jake."

"Great, you're no help."

"I'm sorry."

"Well, I'd like to be alone for awhile if you don't mind."

"Just don't do anything stupid, okay, Jake?"

"Too late for that. I am a stupid human after all."

"Jake. It will work out. I have a feeling. Okay."

"But you said you couldn't see us?"

"I can't."

Then she left. So, now what? I just sit here and wait for her to call me? How long will I have to wait?