Wow, my first story in many months! okay, the Opal Deceptionnever happens, Artemis is fifteen and doesn't have any memories of the fairies...yet.Hope you like it!

Disclaimer; I only own Lis and her family, all the others are Eoin Colfer's magnificent creations!

Without further ado, chapter one! Enjoy guys!

Chapter One: Karate Class

Fifteen-year-old Artemis Fowl the Second glanced around his boarding school room one last time, checking for forgotten socks, misplaced underwear and his left shoe. Finding all these items, Artemis closed the suitcase with a snap and smiled. The end of term, he was finally getting away from his stupid class mates and the even stupider teachers too.

Little did Artemis suspect, as he waited for Butler to pick him up that a pair of teens, like the ones he so despised, were pulling up to Fowl Manor, one of them was to change his life forever.

At that moment the teenagers in question were having a ferocious argument.

'Just hop out and ask for directions, or a road map!'

'No! I don't think these snooty, rich bums would even know what karate is, let alone know where it's being taught!'

'We are gonna be so late if you don't!'

'Why don't you get out, you're the driver, anyway!'

'Well…you're closer!'

'How old are you? Five!'

'C'mon, sis, just go ask!'

'You're the eldest, you go!'

'Please, I'm begging you.'

'Grrr…. fine, but keep the engine running!'

'Ha! Knowing you, you'll be chatting to them for twenty minutes and teaching them the basics of karate!'

The younger teen rolled her eyes but got out of the car and ran to the front door of Fowl Manor.

As she rang the door bell she glanced up, the place was huge, who would live in such a castle?

Butler answered the door in a bad mood, he was already late to pick up Artemis and now some tourist had shown up, asking to take a picture of the house.

'Sixth one this week' he thought, wenching open the door, but before Butler could say a word a torrent of speech hit him almost as bad as Mulch's gas had (not that he remembered that).

'Excuse me, sir but I was wondering if you had a road map you could lend me, me and my brother are new in town and we got lost on the way to karate class, do you know where that is? Or do you have a map or something? Can you help…oh my…' The girl had only just looked up at Butler and Butler can make quite a big first impression on people.

'So you're the giant who lives in this castle.' The girl whispered, half to herself.

Butler spoke for the first time, torn between amusement and offence.

'Actually, miss I don't live here, I am the Fowl's manservant and bodyguard.'

'Oh…well…do the Fowl's have a road map?' This was one girl never distracted from her cause for long.

'I'm sure I can find one somewhere…' Butler was cut off by Angeline Fowl descending down the stairs, 'Butler, who is at the door? Please let them in, it's not polite to leave guests at the door.'

'Of course, Mrs Fowl.' Butler answered, stepping backwards to allow the girl to enter.

'They call you butler! Isn't that a bit mean, they can't even be stuffed to call you by your name!' She whispered angrily to Butler. 'My name is Butler, miss.' He replied.

'Huh?' the girl wrinkled her nose is confusion.

'Good evening, child, what is it you want?' Angeline asked graciously. 'Well, actually I was wondering if you knew where the Karate club was?'

Angeline looked over the somewhat scruffy looking girl. She had very curly, dirty blonde barely reached her shoulders, tanned skin and was wearing a green singlet-top and a pair of old, faded jeans that looked like they hadn't been washed in weeks. She wasn't what you would call beautiful but she had a vivacity around her that would not be ignored. She was also the type of person the Fowls never associated with. Angeline looked into the girl's grey eyes and smiled. 'Butler don't you know where that place is? I thought you taught there briefly a few years ago.'

'I did but I really must go and collect Master Artemis.'

'Oh yes, of course but go and fetch the road map, quickly before you go.' Angeline smiled once more at the girl. 'I'm sorry, but I don't think I caught your name, I'm Angeline Fowl.' She said extending her hand, The girl shook it and replied 'Elise Marshall-Parker but you can call me Lis, just moved two weeks ago from Perth.'

'Oh really, all the way from Australia! Why did you come to Ireland? Family holiday?'

'Actually my mother got posted here, she's a diplomat so we're always moving, I've lived in Africa, China and America and in-between each country Australia, where we originally come from.'

Butler returned with the map just as the car outside started to beep. 'Sorry, that's my brother Steve, so impatient, we'll come by and return the map later, thanks!' and with that Lis flew out the door leaving a dumbfounded Angeline and Butler standing at the doorway.

End of the first chappie, did you like it? Please R&R! constructive criticism welcome! I'm not entirely happy with the first chapter, I wrote it ages ago and decided to continue. It will get better!