Warning: This South Park Fanfiction story has very foul language, violence, gore and a great mass mockery that the show is widely known for over the years. That I don't owned or created South Park by Trey Parker, Matt Stone and Comedy Central because I write my own stories between season breaks .It is intended for Teen reading if you find it too vulgar to read that you have the choice to do not read it at all or do not a give a crap at all which I hope that you will be enjoy it and laugh your ass off.
Life and Duty of the Badge
One snowy night in South Park on a side street a powder blue/white South Park Police squad car was parked which Chief BarBrady was in the driving side was reading Police work for Dummies and other officer named Watson was on the passenger side and doing paperwork on the car's laptop to get over the boredom which nothing bad happens in this town unlike other cities and towns across America with gang violence that spilling onto streets but something is coming to the head when a drunk driver smashed into the back of the cruiser which the impact literally threw the two officers onto the dashboard hard at that moment. And the suspect back up and took off from the scene only leaving the officers injured
BarBrady: Greez whiz ouch my back, shoulder and ribs (Have cuts to his face and calling help on his radio) someone please send ambulances we were rear ended by a hit and run driver who is traveling westbound on Bonanza Street then heading south onto Avenue des Los Mexicanos hurry !(Almost in tears from the pain)
Dispatcher: BarBrady where you are hurt at!(Which the middle-aged and injured police chief looks pissed and his fellow officer who laying there in a fetal condition due to the injuries and the pain)
BarBrady: Just send the darn ambulances and call all available units now smarty pants!
Dispatcher: yes sir I'm on it right now don't worry help is on its way
A half hour later at Hell Pass hospital's emergency room a very frantic Mayor McDaniels came running through with her aides which she is met by Sgt. Yates and some of the officers who are standing there while their cohorts hunt that scumbag down
Mayor McDaniels: Harrison what the hell happened and where is BarBrady at right now
Yates: Madam Mayoress Chief BarBrady is in the exam room which he suffering from a mild concussion, bruised ribs, whip-lash and cracked collar-bone right now. Plus he is getting snitching up to the cuts on the face too.
Mayor McDaniels: And how about his partner and the status on his injuries too Harrison!
Yates: Mayor Officer Watson is currently in surgery right now to repair one of his arms which it shattered on impact along with a broken jaw and a torn Aorta when he and BarBrady hits the dashboard
McDaniels: Harrison I want this son of bitch who struck them to be brought to justice before they kills or greatly injuries someone else do your job that is an order
Det. Harris (came running up to the orange headed officious Police sergeant and the short and spiked light blue hair slightly aging woman politician who was catching his breath at that moment) Excuse me madam mayor and Lou that the local press is camping out by the front entrance which they are waiting for press statement or conference about BarBrady and Watson's Status right now)
McDaniels: I'm not in the mood at all to deal with the damned press right now!(Gently seats herself on a waiting room's chair)
Johnson: Mayor I'm will go on to do the press conference to release the condition stratus on BarBrady and Officer Watson for you.
Yates: Well then I'm will tagging along with you Johnson then (Both mayoral aides follow Yates and Harris along with a couple of uniformed police officers outside leaving the worrisome mayor behind)
A young dashing plain clothed officer who looks like Mayor McDaniels and BarBrady in the face but have his mother 's hazel blue eyes and his father ' s brown hair came up to her which it was her son Alexander who gotten the call about his father and fellow officer's injuries
Alexander: Mom did you heard anything about dad yet (in a low whispering voice to hide his blood relation to the police chief and his parents' marriage a secret from the public
Mayor McDaniels (snap out of her trance and in a low whisper) your father suffered from a mild concussion, bruised ribs, whip-lash and cracked collarbone Alexander (she saw her brother in his blue surgical scrubs)
Dr. McDaniels: Martha here is George's discharge papers and pain medicine which he must stay in bed no police work for few weeks
Mayor McDaniels: oh he will stay in bed I'm promise you Martin and is on desk duty when he feels better (busying with texting to Johnson telling him to stall the press while she and her son get the injured police chief out of the building without being spotted)
Alexander: Mom I got your suv ready go in the private entrance and exit where the doctors and nurse go through (Inside the private exam room a patch up BarBrady who is in arm slang for his right arm)
BarBrady: Martha don't start yelling at me right now which I'm feel like a bus hit me and all wants to go to bed
Mayor McDaniels: No George I'm not here to yell at you which we are taking you home right now (They carried the slightly overweight Police chief down the stairs to the car)
Alexander: Greez dad how the hell mom made love to you (Which McDaniels slapped him in the back of the head) Ouch that hurts!
Mayor McDaniels: Mind your damn business about our sex lives Alexander Preston McDaniels (which BarBrady was inside the back seat resting his aching body and she got into the back too) Now Shut up and Drive!
Alexander: God she is such a slave driver! (Mumming lowly)
Mayor McDaniels: I heard that young man! (Gives a very clear dirty look to him)
The very next morning at South Park Elem. inside the computer lab which the boys 'class are there for computer classes and everybody's chew toy Mr. Mackey who is in the front of the class teaching about computer skills exactly they are not paying any attention to his ass which they are playing Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 during class time after all they know how to work computers because They are a bunch of technology advanced Tykes with the gadgets like I Pod , I Pad , Smart phones and other shit out there.
Cartman: Who the hell shot me it's on now asshole (Look around and have a pissed off look on his face. On the other side Dylan the red hair Goth looking up with an evil grin then gives the finger to him)
Dylan (flicking his long red/black fringe outta of his eyes silently giggling) takes that fat ass I'm have a lot of practice playing with these games for a very long time
Craig: Ha-ha that is fucking funny Dylan (sitting next to Dylan)
Cartman: Aye you son of bitches who now uses a flash and frag grenades on my ass!(Which it was Bebe while next to Wendy, Annie, Red and Nicole!?)
Bebe: You got you served again Fat ass!
Cartman: Come on Stan, Kawl and Kinney help me out Gawd damn it!
Stan: Cartman we are trapped and surrounded too at this very moment.
Kyle: Oh shit now we got zombies heading this way guys!
Token: It is team up time guys
Kenny (mumming through his hood) Son of bitch stupid ass zombies which I'm gets eaten all time for God's sake
Butters (came running into the room upon returning from the bathroom break at that moment which he heard something) Fellas you did heard something bad happened last night
Cartman: No Butters I did not hear any bad news last night (Not paying attention to her at all)
Kyle: Dude you did not hear that bad car accident last night which it is not from your house
Cartman: Well Kawl I'm have my headphones crank up to my IPod listening to Lady Gaga and Slayer last night Jew so I don't care about a dumb ass drunk driver
Stan: The drunken ass rear ended BarBrady and his partner which they gotten very hurt last night
Carman: Maybe it was your drunken ass dad Stan
Stan: No fat ass it was not my dad which he was at home having a romantic dinner with my mom last night (have a madman's look on his face at moment)
Kyle: Oh the shut the hell up Cartman
Cartman: Oh screw you damned dirty Jew Kawl! (Gritting his teeth at him)
Token: Hey guys are you done with fighting like a brunch of school girls right now which we really needs back up from these flesh-eating zombies
All: Oh shit (They got back into their computers to play their game)
Flash at South Park Police Station which Sergeant Yates was put into charge by the mayor while BarBrady recovers from his injuries at home right now which he seat himself at his desk with a cup of hot coffee and files of paperwork to work on until accident scene investigator came up on his desk
The ASI: Sir it is about Chief BarBrady's car which the suspect literally rammed his police cruiser on purpose in a high speed that he was traveling
Sgt. Yates: Jesus Christ the person wants to do great bodily harm or impossibly kill them which we needs to find this scumbag before someone gets killed over this because their stupid ass actions (took a big long puff from his cigar) Right now the police chief is at home recovering from his injuries and a young officer lays in a coma right now, I want his ass for this!
Later on that day cut over to South Park City hall inside the mayor's office a worn out and pissed off Martha McDaniels was middle in the room pacing back and forth disgusted by the slow search for the person or persons who injured her secret lover and another officer by her police force who are taking their sweet time to solve this case and it is really testing her patience for her own law enforcement community right now. Which at that moment she seated herself at her desk to look over some important documents to work on and focus on something else. But all sudden she heard a loud noise coming from the conjoined offices that border hers and yelling too.
Mayor McDaniels: What the fuck is it now which I'm don't need any stupidity today!(Loudly grumbled out)
Johnson: Hey Kid you can't go in there without an appointment to see the mayor (with the security guard who is trying to catch cartman who has burst through the door at that moment)
Cartman: Mayor I'm need to speak with you on something important now (as he saw her sitting at her desk which she looks very pissed when she saw him walking in the room)
Mayor McDaniels: What is it kid which I'm not in the mood to deal with your bull shit at all today? (Sitting in her brown leather executive chair)
Cartman: Mayor I have an offer which you can't refused (has an evil grin on his lips)
Mayor McDaniels: (gently sit back in her fancy chair and silently wondering in her mind what this troublemaking brat has up his sleeve right now) What do you want now kid which I Knows you are up to something ! While her right-handed man Johnson stands next at her side which she was looking at him very cautionous for some guidance how to handle this brat.
Cartman: Mayor I'm wants to be a cop again while BarBrady recovers from his injuries like I did when he was learning how to read!
Mayor McDaniels: Look kid back then BarBrady was the only police officer in town now we have a full force of idiots if we are lucky enough that they solved a case so then no.
Cartman: But Mayor I gotten something to change your mind like that I got a copy of your marriage license to BarBrady, boy what a big scandal it will make around town if I show it(Which she looks very dumbfounded)
Mayor McDaniels: Okay kid you won this round please don't tell anyone in town about my marriage to BarBrady!(Have clear fear sounding mix with anger in her voice)
Cartman: I promised you Mayor I will keep your secret from nosy ears of townsfolk as long you keep your end of our little bargain which we will not have any problem .. So goodbye for now (walking out of the room) at that very moment she sunk into her chair looking very tense and great fear has crept over her which she is fearing for her political future and marriage to the town's police chief and idiot is in great danger right now.
Mayor McDaniels: Johnson I think I'm made a deal with devil right now but I have to do this to protect my marriage and Mayoralty of this town.
Johnson: But Mayor you have to do it to protect the love the one you love espeaciality he is an idiot and the political career you craves for
Mayor McDaniels: But how I 'm keep that little bastard from opening his mouth about my secret marriage to those dumb ass hicks from town if I'm back out of my end of the bargain Johnson
Johnson: Mayor I have an idea for you let pay that fat ass off to cover your private life up from the townsfolk's gossip
Mayor McDaniels: Where the hell we get the money at which I'm so screwed right now (rolls her eyes)
25 minutes later at the bus stop where the boys hang out at all time. Stan, Kyle and Kenny are there making a snowman right now which Cartman causal walking up to them and happily humming away at that moment
Kyle: Cartman why you are so fucking happy right now and what you got up in your sleeve now fat ass
Cartman: Well Kawl I blackmailed Mayor McDaniels to make her let me be a cop again if she did not I'm will release her marriage license that states she is married to Officer BarBrady and they are keeping it as a secret from the town's public. Just think about guys we can get back at Mayor McDaniels for punishing us on stupid stuff or been bitch to us.
Stan: Cartman you are the most evil asshole that ever walk on this damned planet
Kyle: Dude she don't need this right now sworn to God I'm think you just like to feed on other people's misery fat ass for your own enjoyment
Kenny: You are so going to hell when you died Cartman (Mumming angrily loudly)
Cartman: Well then look at the time I'm going home now to head for bed right now so bye guys
Kenny: I'm think he knows we are on his ass right now (mumming at them)
Stan: I 'm think we should help her out to stop Cartman with his another devious blackmailing plan goes through
Kyle: Let's go guys we needs to find Mayor McDaniels now (they walk away from the bus stop and heads toward town)
Flash at the brown brick mayoral mansion inside the master bedroom a bandaged up BarBrady got up from bed which he was not wearing his signature sunglasses at all and can see his brown eyes and Mayor McDaniels came walking in looking worried
BarBrady: Martha what wrong (in his blue button up Pjs as he looks into her eyes and face fear runs rampart)
Mayor McDaniels: George I did something terrible today (gently sat down on the bed next to her lover) I made a deal with that little devilish bastard Eric Cartman today
BarBrady: Why you made a deal with Eric Cartman for in the first place Martha
McDaniels: He had a copy of our marriage license if I'm don't let him being a police officer that he will go to the press about it George (All sudden they hears the door bell rang outside on the porch Stan along with Kyle and Kenny which she answers it) oh it is you three so you little fat friend now you into blackmailing me as well too
Kyle: No Mayor we are helping you to stop Cartman with succeeding of his plan
Stan: Mayor we are wondering what did Cartman use to extort you with that we can get it back for you ( the woman politician just sighs)
McDaniels: Kids he got a copy of my secret marriage license to BarBrady which if I'm don't let him be a police officer again that he will tell the town about it which it will be a big scandal around here
Kenny (mumming through his hood) Please do not worry mayor we will help you get it back from Fat ass.
Chapter 4: Another Grand failed plan and a break
The very next morning at the bus stop the three boys were there minus Cartman who is planning to destroy the document for the mayor who is silently want to destroy it and calls the county Clerk to ask them to barred anyone who is not members of her family to use her private records for now on. At that moment Stan got off his cell from talking with the mayor which he motioned the other two to light the paper on fire.
Stan (on his phone) yes mayor yeah can we set it on fire for you which your secret is safe again!(Which the paper is almost burned to a crisp all sudden a very pissed off Cartman appears out of nowhere)
Cartman: You fucking son of bitches you ruined my awesome plan to get back at Mayor McDaniels for the things she have done to us. (Cartman and Kyle go at it again)
Kyle: You are not ruining someone's life today Fat ass!
Cartman: You fucking sneaking ass Jew I'm going to kill you right now!(Lunged at him but Kyle was too quick which he landed on his face and got dirt up his nose)
Kenny: (giggling out loud) Ha- ha Cartman got dirt up in his and major face plant!
Cartman: (Crying out loud and blood gushing out of his nose) Oh fuck my nose you broke my fucking goddamned nose Kawl Mum!
Flash at the police Station inside the large briefing room which a press conference is coming on right now. Upon on the stage Mayor McDaniels, her aides sitting one side on the other were BarBrady who is still bandaged up and have his arm in the sling along with Harris and Lt. Dawson also Yates was at the podium doing the briefing which the local media was there as well too.
Sgt. Yates: Ladies and Gentlemen I announce the capture of Nicholas Aiken which he is being with one count driving under the influence, two counts of causing greatly bodily harm on a police officer and a count of fleeing from the scene of an accident. Also there is good news that Officer Watson is out of his coma and begins to take therapy that is all. (But Mayor McDaniels is not in the mood to be interview by the press right now)
Reporter one: Mayor McDaniels what is your thoughts on this case
Mayor McDaniels: Well then I'm happy that this maniac is finally caught so that is my statement for.
(Outside in a hallway McDaniels met with BarBrady who is eagerly wants to work now after watching The Amish Mafia on their TiVo but she is making him do desk duty for now until he is completely healed)
BarBrady: Martha can I'm go back to work now which I'm really bored being at home these last few days!
Mayor McDaniels: Fine George you can go back to work then but are we crystal clear on one thing no heavy-duty police work at all
BarBrady: Yeah I'm know Martha (walk away)
Mayor McDaniels: Idiot what I'm love him (walk away with her aides back to City hall)
The End