Hiii! This is my first funny fanfiction, and 1st fanfiction ever so cut me some slack. Partially based on a dream I had, and my awesome cousin Christabelle in Kenya
(A courthouse full of the 25 anniversary cast of Phantom of The Opera, the Les Mis movie cast, and Jekyll and Hyde 2001 cast, except Constantine is J/H. They are all in chains surrounded by phangirls, fangirls and reporters.)
Everyone in Chains: LOOK DOWN! LOOK DOWN! DONT LOOK 'EM IN THE EYE! LOOK DOWN! LOOK DOWN! YOUR HERE UNTIL YOU DDDDIIIIEEEE-
Judge: SHUT UP!
(silence)
Judge: (points and the Phantom/Erik)
Phangirls: SCREEAAMM! WE LOVE YOU ERIK!
Judge: SHUT UP! (calms down temporarily) you dropped a chandelier on a crowd of people...
Erik: Was an accident...sort of
Judge: (rolls his eyes, and points at Christine who is shaking and looking at the ceiling) You don't seem mentally stable...
Christine: (at the ceiling) HE'S THERE! THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA! BEWARE TH-
Meg: SHUT UP, WOMAN, AND STOP STEALING MY SONGS!
Erik: I'm right here...
Judge: (covers his face with his hands, and points to Raoul) Raoul is a fop with girly hair he's overly attached to...
Raoul: HEY! DON'T INSULT MIRANDA!
Judge: Who the heck is Miranda?
Raoul: (touches hair) the angel on my head.
Christine: I though that was me.
Raoul: You come second.
Judge: And I though she had problems...
Raoul: what?
Judge: Nothing...Anyways...Onto Les Mis...God this is going to take a while...Prisioner 24601...
Jean Valjean: MY NAME IS JEAN VALJEA-
Judge: I KNOW YOUR NAME! EVERYONE DOES! SO SHUT THE HECK UP!
Jean Valjean: Okay! Jeez...man. I've already been in jail for 19 years...
Judge: You need to stop being so nice...(points to Javert) Get a life...and stop stalking Jean...
Javert: NEVER! MEN LIKE HIM WILL NEVER CHA-
(gets electrocuted by me)
Jean and Judge: Thank you! he was getting annoying.
Me/Authoress: Continue with the insults.
Judge: (grumbling, and looking at Cosette) No one likes you...
Raoul: Is all that's happening just insults and no actual trial?
Emma: Wow... they call you a fop for a reason...
Cosette: There's nothing wrong with me! I'm pretty, privelged and have a beautifully high voice. (Demostrates by hitting a really high note. Everyone except Erik, Christine, Emma, Jean and me writhe on the ground. Windows shatter.)
Erik: She's singing to bring down the chandeli-
Judge: SHUT UP!
(Silence)
Me: Cosette, its Les Mis. No one has a happy ending except you and your fopular boyfriend, who hires people to stalk you...
Marius: I'M NOT A FOP!
Raoul: Join the club.
Me: (To Raoul) You couldn't remember to keep your hands at the level of your frickin' eyes, man, even though they told you like 7 times! (To Marius) What part of On my Own did you not get?
Erik, Eponine, Meg, and Madame Giry: PREACH IT!
Judge: (eye twitch) Fantine, you were a prostitute...
Fantine, Lucy and other whores: THE HEAT IS ON IN SAIGON! AND WE ARE HOTTER THAN HEL-
Miss Saigon cast: STOP STEALING OUR SONG!
Me: How would you even know that song...its like 100 years before you...but your also trapped in 2013, soo...
Judge: Barricade boys!
(All step up in chains)
Judge: I don't know all of you so...red vest (points to Enjolras) are overly obsessed with Patria..
Fangirls: ENJOLRAS! WE LUVV YOU!
Enjolras: PATRIA!
Judge: (Points at Granatire) you're a drunk...
Granatire: Hiccups
Judge: (points at Joly) your a germ freak
Joly: (spazzes) Germs! WHERE?
Judge: (eye-roll) Bossuet, your bald
Bossuet: (looks at Raoul) not for long.
Judge: Jehan, your pair with almost all the barricade boys at one point...
Jehan: IM NOT GAY!
Judge: Comberferre is a player
Comberferre: (stares at Lucy, who slaps him)
Lucy: I BELONG TO JEKYLL!
Me: Technically, you belong to Hyde, actually...
Lucy: (Death glare at the Judge)
Judge: Man, no wonder you all died...Gavroche-
Gavroche: S'up.
Judge: You act like an American ghetto child...
Gavroche: Dat isn't true, yo!
Thenardiers: We failed at raising all you children...
Judge: Speaking of you both, are the biggest cons in all of France, and awful fakers.
Thenardiers: MASTER OF TEH HOUSE! ISNT WORTH ME SPIT-
Random person from Jekyll and Hyde: LANGUAGE!
Judge:...onto Jekyll and Hyde then...
Judge: Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, both have about seven life sentences...
Hyde: Last time I counted, it was nine
Jekyll: Shut up!
Me: this is too weird..
Emma: You have no idea...
Judge: And are a drug addict, a playe- wow, the list is long. Lets just skip to Lucy since Emma seems in the clear...
Emma: (smiles)
Judge: Lucy, you are a prostitute
Lucy: WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE TO HAVE A NEW LIFE!
Fangirls and me: WE LOVE YOU, LUCY!
Judge: Utterson and Danvers need to stop being drama queens
Utterson and Danvers: We are not!
Judge: Sure... And the Board of Govenors, finally almost done... All had it coming, and were too stupid to see that Jekyll and Hyde had the same face.
Board of Governers: HEY!
Judge: So if were through with everyone, then onto your sentences. Some of you didn't do much, while some of you deserve a couple life sentences, and you know who you are. but instead of putting you in jail, we will put you in therapy with my daughter.
Everyone: WHAT!
Me: And i'm your therapist!
Erik: Your like 13!
Me: I'm 14 actually.
Hyde: You look like Phyllis Wheatley... or Utterson's kid...
Me: I'll take that as a compliment.
Hyde: Its not.
Me: (Death glare)
Erik: Wait so lemme get this straight. We are all getting therapy from a 12 year old African girl, who is supposed to change us?
Me: I'll be staying with all you guys too!
Erik:...
Me: This is going to be supper fun!
So whaddaya think? Hope you enjoy! Please R&R!1