Brendan watches him from across the class, just looking.
He watches him a lot, just copping some glances here and there, admiring his beauty.
It's been two years and eight months since he realised he loved him.
Love? Is that what this is? Love?
He's just a kid, sixteen, shouldn't know what love is, but he does, he knows.
Steven doesn't know, of course.
Steven's straight after all, doesn't look at Brendan in that way, or in any way, they don't really know each other that well.
Steven catches him sometimes, and Brendan pulls the I'm-pretending-to-look-around-idly-but-I-was-reall y-looking-at-you face.
It makes Brendan's heart pound when Steven looks at him, knowing that Steven is going out of his way to look at him, too.
It's just not the look Brendan's wants Steven to give him, it's a look with no meaning at all.
::: :::
They walk home together a few days later at lunch time.
Brendan only lives less than five minutes away from the school, and Steven's granny lives around the corner from Brendan.
They never met before secondary school, which surprised Brendan seeing as Steven's family lived so close.
Brendan was all smiles the entire way as they talked about this and that and nothing at all.
As they walked their hands brushed together, and Brendan felt as if his heart was going to explode at the rate it was beating.
They laughed together at one of Steven's jokes and it was a little awkward but he was enjoying it at least.
He saw this as progress, they were getting closer. He felt warm inside.
Eventually they came to a point where they had to part ways, and Steven turned to his grannies house on the left, and Brendan turned right to go home.
As he walked up the road he turned around and watched Steven walk.
Steven didn't look back.
::: :::
When Brendan walked back, he half expected to meet Steven on the way.
He didn't.
He didn't see him in the social area either, or when he was at his locker.
He wasn't in geography either, or Spanish.
He wasn't in school at all.
It kinda dampened his good mood a bit.
::: :::
Brendan didn't do his homework for Ms. Ferguson again, and he was going to get killed if he didn't hand up his assignment.
He had no choice but copy Macca's essay during small break in the social area.
It was a difficult maneuver, but he managed to balance two copy books on one arm and write with his free hand.
Eventually Macca's copy slipped onto the floor, and as he bent down to pick it up, he was interrupted by another hand that got there first.
He looked up to find Steven smiling at him, holding the copy.
''Miss me?'', he grinned.
Brendan smiled. Steven hadn't been in for over a week and Brendan was getting kinda worried if he was honest.
Steven didn't stay for long, and he went off to get a couple of books from his locker. The warmth was back inside Brendan.
::: :::
They walked home together at lunch again that day.
Brendan felt so free when they were alone, like he could be himself no matter what.
They both just smiled away ranting about school and Ms. Ferguson who gave Brendan a detention for not doing his homework again.
Despite his anger he couldn't help but smile.
On his way back he met Steven again, and they walked in silence for the most part.
Brendan looked ahead as they walked, noticing Steven looking at him in the corner of his eye, making him smile.
Steven questioned it of course, and Brendan just plays it off as nothing.
::: :::
The last bell on a Friday brings classes to a close, and it couldn't have come sooner.
Brendan and Macca fought their way to their lockers, squeezing past the crowds of students trying to get to their own lockers.
After a couple of shoves and a couple of elbows, they get their stuff and head down the corridor.
Brendan feels a hand on his shoulder and before he knows it he's being spun around.
''Going somewhere Mr. Brady? You've got detention, remember?'', Ms. Ferguson interrupts.
''Ah, but it's Fri-'', he tries.
''No buts. Room two, now''.
She guides Brendan down the hall, and Brendan turns to find Macca laughing at him, to which Brendan replies with his middle finger.
As he writes his lines in detention, he sees Steven out the window, knowing he won't see him again until Monday.
::: :::
It's a slow weekend, and he knows why. For the first time in a long time he's actually looking forward to a Monday, or school.
Monday arrives after what felt like years, and Steven's nowhere in sight. He's late, and as it turns out it's because he broke his ankle on Saturday and he's still getting used to life on crutches.
Brendan sits in the Art room, watching Steven through the window struggle with his locker, trying to balance himself while balancing books while balancing his bag until his books fall to the floor.
He wants to help him but he knows he can't leave the room, instead he watches the man suffer until he makes it there in the end.
He supposes it's better that he learns to find his feet again, but still, he wants to be there for him.
By lunch time he's forgotten about the idea of letting him do things himself, and when Steven drops his books again he jumps into action.
As he walks over to save the day, he's beaten to it by Amy Barnes.
He feels anger rising in him when they walk off down the hall talking and smiling at each other.
He hates her already.