Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Knight or the characters within, I just like to take the boys out to play occasionally.

Warning: This is darker than my other stories, yaoi (of course), fluffy, lemon (of course), angst, some violence, questionable sex; you gotta be cruel to be kind right? Pls R&R Pls Pls Pls review I love your comments and remarks they spur me on to new inspiration, improve my writing (hopefully) and help me with future stories.

For purists: OOCness abounds, don't read if you can't handle it!

KanamexZero

IF ANY OF THE ABOVE DISPLEASES YOU PLEASE DO NOT READ

Thanks to Kuro Ookami Hatake for Beta!

Profile: .net/u/1056534/

Love Hurts

By

Hanamaru

The world was a red hot blur to Zero, his body cried out for blood, his soul cried out for deliverance from this world of torment and pain. He vowed he would hurt no one and before he sank into madness he would use the Bloody Rose on himself. Cowardly, perhaps, but he could no longer take the abuse and humiliation from Kuran that was required at each feeding, as well as the overwhelming need. He knew that Kuran and the Headmaster would ensure Yuki's safety; he could no longer endanger the girl he loved as a sister. She would mourn he knew, but she would recover, and she had her beloved Kaname to comfort her.

Zero sat on the grass near a river miles away from Cross Academy, the Bloody Rose next to him on the ground. He knew the time to use it was fast approaching. Suddenly he sensed a presence, he realized it was Kuran. With his last strength he grabbed his gun and stood to face his nemesis. He aimed the Bloody Rose at the pureblood, his vision fading in and out, swaying as he stood. Kaname was appalled at the sight, Zero was gaunt, eyes bloody and shadowed clothes torn and dirty, his beautiful silver hair was matted and lank. Why had he driven his beautiful boy to this?

Zero realized that he could not possibly kill Kuran in his current condition; being taken back to the Cross Academy was not an option. He would rather die than go back to the hell he had been living in. Suddenly he pointed the Bloody Rose at his own chest and pulled the trigger, falling to the ground. "Zero" Kaname screamed, his vampire senses had alerted him to the boys intent as he lifted the gun to his body and he was able to use his kinetic power to knock the gun to the ground even as it fired.

He raced to Zero's side, to his great relief the boy was still alive but unconscious. He lifted Zero to his neck hoping his reflexes would cause to him to bite and drink. There was no reaction; Kaname used his nail to rake across his neck, blood rising to the surface. Still Zero did not move. In desperation Kaname laid the boy down and sliced his own wrist. He opened Zero's mouth and let the ruby liquid pour down his throat. Zero moaned, coughed and began to swallow. Kaname fed the boy as much as he could without weakening himself.

Zero remained unconscious but some color came into his deathly pale face. Kaname cradled him tenderly "Zero" he whispered "I am so sorry, please don't die, I will spend my life making this up to you, please Zero" he begged over and over.

Zero slowly opened his eyes. He groaned, his head and body ached, he felt weak and incredibly tired. Taking a breath, he found it was an effort to breathe. He looked around the room, it was huge and furnished grandly, and with a surge of panic he realized he was in Kaname's room in his bed. He had been caught and returned to this torture. He did not think he could bear it and a tear slowly drifted down his cheek.

"Zero?' he turned his head at the sound of THAT voice, the voice of his tormentor, his torturer and stared in the eyes of Kaname Kuran. Kuran felt the alarm in Zero and quickly tried to reassure the boy. "I won't hurt you Zero, please, I am so sorry, try to hang on. I promise you will never be hurt again."

"How long…?" Zero grated, his voice rough from dis-use. "You have been unconscious for 2 weeks, I have been feeding you as often as I can to help restore you." said Kaname "Please don't be frightened, I am so sorry Zero. Please let me help you. I have behaved in a way unfit for human or vampire, punish me later if you wish but please let me help you get well". Zero looked at him, the usually bright lilac eyes still dull. "Fuck you Kuran. Let me die".

Kaname felt as though he had been kicked in the gut. Why would Zero not let him help? Could he not tell that he was serious in wanting to help him? Did Zero hate him so much he would not even let him save his life? Kaname was wracked with self hate and disgust but was determined to save Zero and return him to the spirited boy that he now realized he cared for deeply, perhaps loved? Zero had slipped into unconsciousness once again.

Color returned to Zero's face, yet he remained still, his eyes closed. Kaname never left the boy unattended in case he woke. He slept next to Zero during the day, holding him, directing feelings of love and safety at the boy. He kept up a constant soothing murmur of reassurance while he stroked Zero's silvery hair or gently rubbed his back. Kaname spent as much time as possible by his side, skipping night classes at least once a week. He constantly berated himself, what he had done to Zero was unthinkable, to push him to the edge of suicide, he vowed to make this up to him even if it required his own pain and humiliation. The lilac eyed boy dying, leaving him, was unimaginable. And unacceptable.

FLASHBACK

Kaname faced the violet eyed boy "Zero, you have become a danger to my beloved girl, Yuki, the day class and the public. Your allergy to the blood tablets is regrettable, in the future you will feed only from me, at my will and you will move into the Moon Dorm so I can monitor you. Do not doubt that should you step out of line I will kill you. Yuki will be told that you became a level E and had to be destroyed. She will mourn but she will understand."

Zero's heart dropped, his life had been one of pain and mistrust, fate had been cruel. He had lost his family, famous vampire hunters, in a vampire attack and was bitten himself. He was now considered an "ex-human" not quite human, not quite vampire and wholly accepted by neither; other than Yuki and Chairman Cross. His worst nightmare was to be in debt to Kaname Kuran, he had no idea the nightmare was only just beginning.

The boys face reflected none of his inner turmoil; he had learned to school his features long ago and was considered the scariest boy at Cross Academy. Although extremely handsome, even beautiful, with his lilac eyes, silvery hair and well toned body; any day class crushes soon faded when faced with his permanent scowl. His glare stopped fangirls in their tracks even at a distance. Though the vampires of the night class despised him, they too chose to keep their distance from the hunter and his Bloody Rose.

All except Kaname Kuran, both boys were constantly in the company of their clueless friend Yuki and considered themselves in love with the young woman. She had the utmost respect and trust in Kuran for he had once saved her life, and she and Zero were raised almost as brother and sister. Kaname and Zero loathed each other but were, somewhat civil for Yuki's sake and to keep peace at the school.

The silver haired boy soon realized that Kuran's intent was to cause him as much suffering as possible. His stubborn pride demanded he wait until the breaking point before going to Kaname to feed. The uber vampire kept a close eye on Zero, waiting until the boy was on the verge of collapse, starving, before feeding him. At times Zero would come to him and Kaname would refuse, waiting torturous hours or days before feeding the starving prefect, knowing just how far to push to keep Zero at the edge but not enough to push him over.

Zero was often in pain; he felt humiliation and self loathing as he fed from his enemy, taking greedy gulps of the delicious bloody nectar. Sometimes Kaname would let him drink his fill, other times he pushed him away; Zero had to fight not beg for more. He had no idea of the depths of Kaname's cruelty, the torture was just beginning.

Kaname told himself he despised, even hated Zero, he would not admit to a grudging respect for the boy or his attraction to the beautiful prefect. His vampire nature took over when he fed Zero and he lost all regard for humans and the goals of the school he attended. His nature at war with himself, fighting the attraction by abusing and humiliating the boy. He vowed to break the spirited hunter and bring him to heel; Zero would be his pet human.

Kaname had Zero brought before him. "Are you hungry Kiryu?" In fact he was starving and barely in control but he would not admit that to the vampire. "From now on there will be a price to pay for my generosity boy!" Zero felt hatred, hunger, and a touch of hopelessness he stared coldly at the vampire king. "Stop fucking with me Kuran, feed me or kill me." "Don't tempt me Kiryu and fucking you is the price you will pay each and every time, as I desire" he growled with an unearthly gleam in his eye. Although neither wanted to think about it, each time Zero fed they both became increasingly aroused.

Zero looked at Kaname in shock and felt sickened. "Fuck you bloodsucker" he shouted as he ran from the Moon Dorm. Zero leaned against a tree in the darkness, his breathing labored, his body shaking. Was Kuran serious? Could he actually expect Zero to willingly give his body in return for the blood he required? If he refused the alternative was to slowly go mad and be hunted down and killed, perhaps by another vampire hunter, innocent people or his beloved Yuki could be in danger.

With eyes closed, he realized that Kuran had no limits on cruelty and once again hopelessness overcame him. How much longer could he manage his bloodlust and stay sane without the blood of the vampire king?

Zero lay curled up on the floor of his bathroom, his only sensation was pain and an unquenchable hunger. He had vowed not to seek out Kuran but he was fast losing rational thought. He feared losing control and hurting someone, and his body yearned for Kaname's sweet, powerful blood. How long could he hold out? It had been days since he ran from the Moon Dorm and he had been starving then. He whimpered in pain, eyes shut tight as he fought not to scream.

Suddenly he felt a presence, Kuran was near! He unconsciously moaned with desire for blood, for sex, for Kuran? How could he feel this way, surely he was on the edge of madness.

"Oh, there you are Kiryu." sneered Kaname "Hungry are we? Hmmmmm?" He stood over the boys pain wracked body, the beautiful lilac eyes now red with hunger, his fangs elongated, lower lip bleeding. He leaned over and slid a finger over Zero's lower lip and then licked the blood from his finger. "You know the price Zero do you care to pay it?" the vampire made a small slit in his wrist and dripped blood on the bathroom floor near Zero.

Unable to control himself the boy licked the blood from the floor. "Ah yes I see you are quite ready Kiryu". He knelt and lifted the boy to his neck. With all reason gone Zero savagely torn into the soft skin of the throat in front of him and drank in huge desperate gulps. He could feel Kaname's body shaking as the vampire laughed softly to himself. Kuran finally pulled Zero away from his neck, the boy was not sated but the hunger had abated. "You can have more boy, but only after you pay the price." Zero shivered, but he could not beat back the hunger he still felt. Humiliated, he nodded his head, his eyes to the floor. The blood surged through him; he felt connected to Kaname in some way but brushed the thought aside.

"Remove your clothes Kiryu" the vampire commanded. Zero sat on the floor, unable to bring himself to comply. Kaname waited a few seconds "I see you need to learn your lesson". He ripped Zeros jeans and t-shirt off and pushed him face down on the cold tile floor. Unzipping his pants the vampire knelt over the boy, he drove his fangs into his shoulder, to cause as much pain as possible and to hold the boy in position. Zero cried out and then screamed loudly as Kaname suddenly entered him without warning. He felt as though he was being torn in two, the pain was excruciating. Without being aware of it Zero hardened, the vampire continued to thrust into him as deeply as possible occasionally hitting a spot that made Zero cry out over and over in pain and pleasure. At last the vampire finished, he knelt on the floor and once again placed the boy's mouth to his throat. This time he allowed Zero to sate himself.

Blood ran down the backs of Zero's legs from the brutal treatment but as he gorged himself all pain faded and he became almost euphoric. Kaname notice the boy was hard and pumped him with his hand until he came, knowing this would humiliate him. Zero scarcely noticed focusing only on the neck in front of him, he withdrew his fangs and licked the bite marks, they closed quickly. Kaname taunted him "You are quite a good fuck Kiryu; you were a virgin were you not? It was quite lovely, you are so very tight. My blood will help you heal faster so we can play this game again soon. Goodnight my pet."

Zero lay on the floor, what had he done, what would he do for the blood he so desired. He felt humiliated and used, and for the first time in many years a single stray tear found its way down his cheek.

Then next two months were a blur of dread and depression, his self loathing grew each time he fed and submitted to the vampire. He could not stop the physiological reaction that caused him to become aroused when feeding. The physical pain he could ignore but the humiliation and his lack of control ate away at him. Slowly the lilac eyes faded to grey and his scowling countenance gave way to an empty blankness.

After the first few times with Zero, Kaname realized that the hate and anger were gone. The boy was not easy to break and he came to have an unwilling respect for him. He realized too, that the brutality with which he treated the violet eyed boy sickened him and he was filled with regret. Had he not sworn to value all, to create and enforce a peaceful co existence? Never had he violated or punished anyone as he had the beautiful boy. He realized his denial of his attraction to Zero roused his vampire nature and had been the underlying reason for forcing the boy into a sexual "relationship".

He no longer waited until Zero was at the breaking point, he fed the boy regularly every ten days or so. Sex, he could not quite call it making love, became gentle and careful. He made sure that Zero was properly prepared and ready when he entered him. He no longer took him from behind but had him on his back so he could rain kisses down on his lips and eyelids. Each time he ensured that Zero climaxed too, often multiple times. Afterwards he would sometimes force the boy to stay with him, holding him close, stroking his hair and rubbing his back soothingly. He savored the few times that Zero, emotionally and spiritually exhausted, fell asleep in his arms.

His need and affection for Zero continued to grow; he began feeding the boy weekly because he could not stay away any longer. He daydreamed of the silver haired boy and fantasized that his affection was returned, his past actions forgiven. Did Zero recognize these changes, he wondered? The boy still remained unresponsive and detached other than in the act of feeding. Feeding created a connection between them, sensitivity to each other's moods and feelings, sex became intertwined and the act of feeding was incredibly arousing to both. Still Kaname did not sense the silent despair that continued to grow within Zero's heart.

The vampire king in love with a human, make that an ex-human, unthinkable! As his feelings deepened and became overwhelming Kaname began to feed Zero twice a week. He sought him out daily trying to speak to him in a neutral setting, to demonstrate that he had changed and had regard for violet eyes prefect. The boy remained unresponsive; while he allowed the vampire near him he remained silent withdrawing further into himself.

Zero felt he could take it no more, he had reached the depths of hopelessness and decided to choose death instead of this hellish existence. He left Cross Academy with his Bloody Rose as dawn broke and did not look back.

Kaname woke in the late afternoon, something was amiss. He reached out his senses and realized that there was no connection to Zero. Perhaps the boy had gone into town on an errand for the Chairman. He bathed, dressed and left to attend night class. He expected to see Zero in his role as guardian but only Yuki was herding the day class to their dorm. He felt waves of concern and worry rolling off her. "Yuki what is amiss?" "Zero is missing, he has be gone all day, I'm afraid he has run away. He has been so sad lately."

"I am sure Kiryu will return Yuki, try not to worry, I will look for him."

Days passed and the boy did not return, Yuki and the Chairman were beside themselves with worry. Kaname kept up a stoic front but he was frantic, where was Zero, what would happen when he needed to feed? Guilt tore at him; he had driven away the boy he loved. How had been so blind as to not see the descent in hopelessness that had led the boy to run away? Why had he not be honest and told Zero of his feelings and begged for forgiveness. Instead he had tried to communicate with his actions hoping the silver haired boy would realize that he cared and had deep regret for his actions. He promised Yuki and the Chairman that he would employ all his resources to locate Zero and bring him home.

END FLASHBACK

Zero's mind and body slowly healed, he felt warm arms holding him often and knew he was being fed and cared for, he felt safe? He could never tell if he was dreaming or awake, was he really in Kaname's room, his bed? Was he dead and in hell? If so hell had a really comfortable bed.

Kaname helped Zero over to the bathroom, the enormous tub was already filled with steaming water and the smell of sweet healing herbs was in the air. Zero was able to walk with assistance, Kaname made a mental note to get the boy up and walking more to keep his muscles active.

As they stood beside the tub Kaname spoke soothingly to Zero, his lilac eyes were still dull an unfocused. The both wore only soft pajama bottoms. "Zero you will feel better after having a bath, and I will wash your hair for you. I'm not going to hurt you, we need to take off our sleeping pants before getting in the water, I will have to get in with you so I can help you bathe and wash your hair. I have fresh sleeping pants for you, you will feel much better" There was a minute nod of the head but the eyes still remained a cold silvery violet color.

Kaname undressed them both and lifted Zero into the tub and then sat beside him. The water was warm and soothing, the scent of herbs relaxing and intoxicating. The vampire took a sponge and gently wiped the boys face, moving down to his neck, shoulders, chest and tummy. He could not deny he was aroused by the close proximity of the boy, in the back of his mind he wanted this moment as he prepared the bath. He could see that Zero was somewhat aroused as well do to the soothing water and touch as he was bathed.

Kaname stopped and sat the boy up and washed his back. He poured some shampoo in his hand and gently massaged the silvery locks, gratified as Zero relaxed. He rinsed the boy's hair with some fresh water and leaned back in the tub holding Zero lightly against his chest. For the first time since he had returned the boy's muscles relaxed completely. He leaned against Kaname with his eyes closed, his face look peaceful, even serene. Kaname felt his inner turmoil fall away. He had his beautiful boy in his arms in this steamy world it was just the two of them, no past, no future, just now. He permitted himself to relax, holding Zero, and allowed himself to be at peace, if only for just a little while…..

Zero wondered if he was dreaming or perhaps dead, would he go to heaven? He doubted it but he felt wonderful. Safe, protected, soothed, warm, relaxed… and held by loving arms? He felt too tired to open his eyes and he didn't want this dream to end. He let strong arms hold him and his muscles melted, he felt peaceful for the first time in a long while and decided just to enjoy, he drifted off to sleep a slight smile on his lips.

He woke fully the next day, still tired and weak, but alert and responsive. Warm arms were wrapped around him and he felt comfortable and content, alien feelings for him.

He recalled the strange dreams he had been having, dreams of being safe and loved, tinged with regret and sorrow, and hope? He looked around and realized that he was indeed in Kaname's bed, with Kaname sleeping next to him. This was no dream, but not quite a nightmare. He was cuddled next to the vampire and loving arms surrounded him. He had a sense that this had happened frequently while he was semi conscious and that Kaname had been the source of the loving, reassuring feelings that enveloped him.

He was confused but felt calm and unafraid; he was comforted by the presence of the vampire. How could this have happened? What did his hazy memory hold? He realized that Kaname had found him, saved him, cared for him, loved him? He turned to look at Kaname's face and the movement woke him. The stared into each others eyes, Zero puzzled and confused, Kaname grateful he was finally awake but fearful of the boys emotions. The silver haired boy realized Kaname had been feeding him, begging him to return, he could feel the truth of vampire's emotions, could this be from the constant infusion of his blood? He felt deep regret and sorrow over the past, and desperate hope for the future.

Kaname was afraid Zero hated him? Why didn't he hate the vampire? He had before, loathed and despised him, but also lusted after him with an emotion so deep it had frightened him. In their past times together, when Kaname fed him they had both ignored their feverish attraction for each other. They blamed their intense sexual frenzy on the intimacy of feeding, this frequently led to multiple sexual encounters during a night, and Zero occasionally falling asleep while Kaname held him.

They had never discussed or overtly referred to these acts although they were intense and satisfying. Zero, assuming Kaname only wanted him for sex, had tried to fight back the feelings of wanting something more. The idea of caring relationship was insane, surely this would give the vampire nothing more than sadistic pleasure.

Somehow, Zero was unafraid, he could feel the emotions the vampire felt and projected to him and he knew they were not false. Kaname cared deeply for him and castigated himself constantly for his treatment of the lilac eyed boy. His soul begged for forgiveness, for a chance at a future.

The boy lay quietly in Kaname's arms, and mulled over the intense emotions directed at him, and the memory of feelings he had while semi conscious. He could not bring himself to feel hate or fear. Exhausted he fell asleep once more.

Kaname was exultant, he could sense confusion in Zero but no hate or fear, no self loathing or hopelessness. Could the emotions he had projected in the last weeks have found there way to the boy? Did he realize that Kaname had cared for him, fought for his life and sanity? He could only hope and wait as Zero regained his strength.

Each time the boy awoke, the vampire was by his side, holding him, helping him, loving him. Zero became stronger, he was visited by Yuki and the Chairmen, expressing their great relief that he had returned and was safe, thanking Kaname effusively for helping their adopted family member. Soon he would be well enough to return to school and his duties as a guardian alongside Yuki. What then? What were he and Kaname to each other, could they be friends, lovers, fuck buddies or back to merely tolerating each other? And since when had he become gay? His feelings for the vampire eclipsed any he had before for anyone.

Zero was able be up and around on his own, although he tired easily. Kaname still slept with him and he allowed, even wanted, the vampires arms around him. Sometime soon they were going to have "the discussion", what the hell was going on with them? Kaname still fed him frequently, always letting him drink his fill. This intimate contact left both them incredibly aroused but as yet they had gone no further.

Zero woke once more in Kaname's arms; they lay silently for a bit. "We need to talk Kaname" "Yes I know", the vampire took a deep breath. "Zero I want you to stay here with me in the Moon Dorm; I want to wake up with you every day". The silver haired boy blushed "I….I… think I might want to stay" he said cautiously. "Can you forgive for the past? I will make no demands of you if that's what you wish; I ask only that you allow me to hold you as we sleep. I can only hope that someday I can gain your trust …and your love".

"I want to take this slow, but, for some reason, I believe you when you say you regret the past. I can't make any promises for the future but I am willing to try to move forward." He paused. "…I feel safe with your arms around me, it's not like it was before, I can feel what you feel." "As I can feel you." said Kaname, he relaxed somewhat, Zero was giving him a chance, he could only hope to prove himself someday worthy of the boys love and trust.

Zero turned his face into Kaname's chest "Just this for now, okay?" "Yes, whatever you want, whatever you feel comfortable with, I will wait forever for more if need be." The boy relaxed, maybe this could work. He could feel the vampire's emotions and knew that he felt deeply and passionately about him. Zero also knew Kaname would be an incredible lover if he chose to take that step with him. He drifted back to sleep cradled in loving arms.

So did ya like it? Hate it? Bored by it? Please review or I will remain clueless, OK I may remain clueless anyway………but I love to hear from you!

There is a part 2 coming, and yeah it has a juicy lemon in it.

Hanamaru