Disclaimer: I don't Harry Potter or 'Before The Worst' by The Script.
I changed the song a bit, to suit the story more.
Songfic about Severus and Lily. I thought it was a good song and applied to them. If anyone's already made something like this, please tell me and I'll take it down.
"I don't want your help, you filthy little mudblood!"
\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/
"I'm sorry."
"I'm not interested."
"I'm sorry!"
"Save your breath."
'I am sorry' thought Severus glumly. 'I shouldn't have said what I did, but I can't take it back' He directed his attention to Lily, she was speaking again.
"I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here"
"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just –"
"Slipped out?" "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious Death Eater friends – you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?
"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."
"No – listen, I didn't mean – "
"– to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"
\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/
Severus and Lily where walking the grounds at night, Severus had cast a Disillusion Charm to avoid detection. Lily was leaning into Severus, the picture of two lovers. "See? Look how beautiful the grounds are at night." Lily nodded and looked up at him "You're right, Sev, we should have done this a long time ago."
Severus looked at her, his friend, the person he loved, though she didn't know it. Her red hair reflected the moonlight, giving her an angelic appearance. He looked down again "I didn't think you would approve of the rule-breaking, Lil."
She smiled 'God, she looks so beautiful' he thought. "Is that what you think of me?" She laughed "Stuck up, teachers pet, Lily Evans?"
"No, you are not stuck up, and you suck at Transfiguration". "Aww, that's not nice!" She said, mock-offended. They resumed walking in silence. After about a minute or two, Severus looked down at Lily again. "Lily – I – I think I love you" She looked up at him in shock. He looked at her beautiful emerald eyes, and kissed her.
He didn't even realise he had done it until he was staring directly at her shocked eyes. Then she slowly relaxed and leaned in to deepen the kiss. After a minute, they broke apart for air.
"I love you too Sev. I love you too."
\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/
Severus was alone in his manor, looking at a framed picture of Lily Evans and thinking about everything that had happened since he said that horrible word. A year had passed, she was engaged to James Potter and Severus had stayed alone. It was the day of the wedding, and he had received an invitation to the ceremony. He was surprised to be invited, he had assumed that Lily had moved on, and never wanted to even look at him again. He realized that he was wrong, and with that realization came hope. Hope that she might still love him, he certainly still loved her.
He looked at the clock on the wall, it was five minutes to the wedding, if he was going to go, he had to go now. He hesitated, and then made up his mind, walked outside of his manor and Disapparated to the wedding.
It's been a while since the two of us talked
About a year since the day you walked
Knowing things would never be the same
With your empty heart and mine full of pain
So explain to me, how it came to this
Take it back to the night we kissed
It was on the grounds on a Friday night
He appeared with a CRACK at the front of the church. He walked in and looked around, spotting the priest, he walked over to him. "Where is the bride?" He asked. "Through that door" the priest indicated the door on his left. Severus strode over to it and walked to a room that appeared to be a preparation area for the bride. Lily didn't look at him, but continued to applying her earrings.
"James, look, I told you before, I made all the plans, I spent two hours shopping for the cake, and I chose the guest list." She said crossly "That means that I get to invite who I want, and I want to invite Sev! I don't care about some stupid schoolboy rivalry, Severus used to be my friend, and if I want to invite him, I will! If he wants to come, he can, but he probably won't, so what are you so angry about?" She finally turned around "and anyway, you shouldn't even be seeing me before the – "She stopped. So she had seen him. "What are you doing here?" she asked.
We were sitting with our backs against the world
Saying things that we thought would never hurt
Who would have thought it would end up like this?
Where everything we talked about is gone
And the only chance we have of moving on
"You invited me" Severus said shrewdly. She rolled her eyes "Yes, I noticed that, but I didn't think you would come."
He arched an eyebrow "And why exactly would you think that?" She took a few tentative steps towards him "Why did you do it, Sev?" She asked quietly "Do what?" He asked, though he knew perfectly well what the answer was. He cast a Silencing Charm on the room; he also knew the shouting that would follow.
"Everything! Why did you come? Why did you call me a mudblood that day? Why were you sorry for it? Why weren't you sorry for it when you called all my friends mudbloods? Why did you become a Death Eater?" She shouted. Lily collapsed onto a chair, tears streaming down her face "Why did you leave me?" She whispered.
Is trying to take it all back
Before it all went wrong
"Lily, I came because I still love you, I always have, and I always will, I want you to be happy, as you would be with Potter, but the happiness that I could never give you" She opened her mouth to speak, but Severus had started again.
"I called you a mudblood because I wasn't thinking; I was suspended upside down, humiliated and angry at Potter for asking you out when I was your boyfriend, when I loved you, when I was right there. I was scared that you would leave me for that arrogant Quidditch star, so I pushed you away to spare myself the hurt later." He had grappled with that for months, arguing to himself on why he did it. He had found an answer, more an excuse that had not satisfied even himself, but was the best he could come up with.
"I said sorry because I was, as soon as I said it I was. I didn't mean it, I never meant it, but I knew it was the right thing to do. Please, listen to me before you say anything more."
"I called everyone else that because I had Lucius telling my father every nicety I gave to a muggle-born. When I came back every summer, he beat it into me to be horrible to every muggle-born I could find. I did the same to everyone else, but for the larger part I was beaten for the relationship I shared with you. I endured it, I had to, I didn't have any other friends, all I had were You-Know-Who's lackeys."At this he drew a breath and waited for Lily to say something, but she just stayed silent and waited for him to finish, so he continued.
"I never joined the Dark Side, I was enticed, for a moment by it, but I discarded the idea when I thought of you. Dumbledore saw opportunity in me though, he called me to his office to ask me to be a spy, I disagreed but he was… forceful… he said that it would show remorse for what I had already done, or thought about doing. I honestly believed him, but I would not give up my friendship with you. So I balanced the Dark Lord with you, but the Dark slowly gained more and more of my time as you got more and more distant because of what I had done"
He prepared himself to answer the final question, the one that has been haunting him for the past year. 'Why did he leave her?' "I left because I loved you, and still do. I believed that you would be better off with Potter. He was wealthy, handsome, charming and good at Quidditch. In short, everything that I was not. He had everything to offer you that I could not, and he knew it." He said bitterly "He met me the night before that day and told me all this, said that you would me better off without me. Potter knew that I was a spy, Dumbledore had told him as an effort to get him and his gang off his back, and he used it to his advantage! He told me that if I called you that word, then you would leave me, you would not feel any pain at the end of the relationship, I would be free to extend my ranking to The Dark Lords inner circle, you would feel no pain when you eventually noticed my participation in the activities of The Dark Lord, you would have him. He arranged the scene that would happen the next day, arranged everything so that he could have the only thing that really mattered to me"
Before the worst, before we mend
Before our hearts decide
It's time to love again
Before too late, before too long
Lets try to take it all back
Before it all went wrong
By now, Severus had finished his tale. The tears had gone from Lily's face, but were replaced with a look of rage. She had a look on her face that could set the room on fire. Severus had mistook the rage to be directed at him, and knowing what Lily was like in a rage, took a few steps back and said "Lily, I know, I deserve–" He realised that her anger was not for him as she had walked right past him to the door. She wrenched it open, and stormed outside. Severus followed behind her with a bemused expression on his face. She walked past the priest to the door on the other side of the room. She tore that door open and walked into what appeared to be the preparation room for the groom. Severus finally understood who she was angry at and walked into the room to stand in the corner, not wanting to get any of Lily's anger directed at him as a grin grew on his face.
There was a time that we'd stay up all night
Best friends talking till the daylight
Took the joys alongside the pain
With not much to loose, but so much to gain
Are you hearing me? Cause I don't wanna miss
Set you adrift on a memory bliss
Potter turned around and saw her. "Did you come here to tell me that you've decided to uninvite Snivellus?" Severus quickly shut the door; cast another Silencing Charm and a spell that he'd been working on for at least a month. "Hey! What's he doing here?" Potter had noticed him, a smile grew on his face "Oh, I see, you've finally decided to let me hex him to hell"
"No!" She roared. James backed away. "What? He's a slimy git! He's a death eater & he called you a mudblood." That word seemed to throw Lily off the edge "You! Severus! You lying cheating scumbag!" Her voice was cracking; she seemed to be unable to even string words together through her rage. "You set up that scene. You tricked me! You took away the one person who cared – and still cares – about me! All so you could have me for yourself! Severus told me everything! Everything!" James seemed to be stunned that she was taking Severus's side. Lily sat down, she seemed to have calmed a bit, but was still angry. "Ok, James, I've already made this mistake once – " She held up her hand, for Potter had shown every sign of interrupting "I have made the mistake of not listening to explanations and letting rage take over – I believe Sev, but I also believe that you might have an explanation" She sighed 'at least I'm being rational' she told herself " James, Sev came to me and said that the scene where he called me a mudblood was set up by you, he said that you told him that I would be happier this way. He told me this, among other things, which have led me to believe that what he claims is true. What do you say to this?"
Potter looked angrily at Severus "You believe him! You believe the slimy Slytherin Death Eater over your fiancé! My answer is simple! He – Is – A – Liar!" Lily took a deep breath "Potter – Yes, It's Potter again, for you are no longer my fiancé – You have hated Sev since the moment you saw him, with no reason other that him being a Slytherin, people are people, and that includes Slytherins. You sought to have me and to take Sev away from me, because I was the only girl in school that wasn't fascinated by your shadow, and because of your stupid schoolboy rivalry against my friend." A single tear fell down her face "I'm sorry, Potter, but you obviously hate Slytherins more than you love me."
With that parting statement, Lily walked out of the room and onto the wedding area. Severus smiled, and ended the spells he had cast. The special charm was a wizard form of a Muggle tape recorder or VCR, much like a pensive, but much easier to use. He followed the former bride-to-be outside the room. She was announcing that the wedding was off; Sev stood behind her and whispered something in her ear. "The groom has been lying to me ever since we met. He caused my best friend to leave me, and for those of you who are friends with him, here is a recording of the conversation we had." Sev waved his wand and a movie of the conversation appeared behind him. He transfigured Lily's wedding gown to normal clothes and both of them walked out of the church.
It was Spinners End on a rainy night
I was down on one knee and you were mine for life
\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/
"I never thought that I could be with you" Sev said. It was two years past Lily & James's wedding and Sev & Lily had been dating for all of that time. They were in the street they grew up on; Sev had wanted to talk to Lily's parents. "So, what did you and my Dad talk about while I was talking to my Mum?"
"This" He answered, getting down on one knee and pulling out a velvet covered box. "Lily Evans, would you marry me?" He opened the box to reveal a ring " Lily looked down at him and smiled "You have to ask?"
\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/
We were thinking we would never be apart,
With your name tattooed across my heart,
Who would have thought it would end up like this?
Where everything we talked about is gone
And the only chance we have of moving on
"Lily! Wait! Lily!" Sev called desperately at her retreating figure. She had caught another girl kissing him, but that was the thing, she was kissing him. He didn't even know her name! The girl wiped her lips " Well, that was interesting, but I was paid to explain so here goes" she chuckled "A dark haired guy paid me to kiss you when a red headed girl walked in, said to tell you it's an anniversary present from J.P and he says 'hope you liked it Snivellus'" Then she Disapparated. "Potter! Why do you keep doing this, Potter!" he shouted to the air as he staggered around the room. Lily and Sev had been married for a year, with constant owls from Potter, asking her to abandon 'Snivellus' and come back to him.
Before the worst, before we mend
Before our hearts decide
It's time to love again
Before too late, before too long
Lets try to take it all back
Before it all went wrong
Sev Apparated to her parents' house, he knew that was where she would go. He ran to Lily and said to her before she got the chance to say anything "Lily, hear me out, she was paid – Not by me – to kiss me, Potter set it up!"
"Oh" was all she could say before kissing him wildly, muttering apologies for doubting him.
\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/`'\/
And if the clouds don't clear
We'll rise above it, we'll rise above it
Heaven's gate is so near
Come walk me through,
Just like we used to, just like we used to
Severus and Lily were apparently in heaven, they were holding hands as they walked through the golden gates just as they used to walk through the doors to the Great Hall, when they were teenagers. They knew now though, that through all the trouble of their lives, they had made it. Together, they had made it.
We'll take it all back
Before it all went wrong
Before the worst, before we mend
Before our hearts decide
It's time to love again
Before too late, before too long
Lets try to take it all back
Before it all went wrong