Title: Visit from the Cat Team* (see endnote)
Author : Stonewar stonewar@alltel.net
Rating : PG
Spoilers: Buffy - Chosen and blatant hints of Angel
finale in the last line.
Keywords Post Chosen vignette
Author's note: As I loathe Kennedy, you will note she
has been written out. That is all.
***
Willow looked up from the laundry she was folding on
the bed when she heared a knock on the door of the
apartment. She, Buffy and Dawn have rented the furnished
apartment to establish a base while the other slayers
scattered to new hellmouths and old homes according to
their preference. Be it ever so humble the two bedroom
with the hide-a-bed is the new Watcher's Council or
whatever they decide to change the name to.
She peaked out the door toward the muffled voices in
the livingroom. Her heart stopped in her chest when to
woman speaking to Buffy looked over at her. Tara!? No
not Tara. She has the same body shape and carriage but
dark haired and eyed and decidedly eastern European
looking. But damn she has the same crooked smile.
'Am I going to see her everywhere now that Kennedy is
gone and I'm alone again. Pesky short-term rebound relationship'
"Miss Rosenberg?" The woman inquires, her voice deep and
melodious. She opens a mammoth day planner so big it has
a shoulder strap and would go with a power suit much better
than the carpenter pants and twin set she is currently
wearing, and pulls out a business card identical to the
one Buffy holds in her hand. "My name is Katy Zalusky.
I'm with W&H Underwriters."
"Insurance?" Willow asks as she walks further into the room
to take the card.
"I was just telling her we really don't have the need for
that kind of stuff just now," Buffy jumped in awkwardly.
"Actually," The woman inserts. "I'm not a salesman. I'm a
claims adjuster. Miss Rosenberg, your parents purchased our
Special Risk Umbrella for their homeowners insurance 4 years ago.
Can we sit?" She gestures toward the kitchen table and chairs just
left of the door.
"I haven't lived in my parents home since high school," Willow
pointed out as they sat at the table.
"That's true but you are a college student under 25 so you can
claim lost possessions."
"I don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth but doesn't that
only apply when I'm living in campus housing. Buffy Dawn...and
I have shared a house full-time for the last two years." Willow
cleared her throat awkwardly hoping Buffy didn't her notice her
stumble over wanting to add Tara to her list of former housemates.
"Normally that is true," She allowed. "Due the total destruction
of the town, the Apocalyptic Catastrophe clause kicked in and
coverage once again extends to you."
Buffy and Willow's eyes widened in surprise, so rarely do they hear
the word apocalypse uttered by someone other than their group or
so casually. They didn't know insurance companies covered apocalypses.
What will they think of next
Ms. Zalusky bent over and pulled forms out of her bulky briefcase.
She laid a large stack in front of Willow. "Don't worry, not all
of this is actually needs to be filled out. This booklet here is
instructions on what is allowable and what is not, how to list
bulk items like CD's and clothes etc. I've given you several copies
of the same form in case of spills and mistakes and such."
"Have you already spoken to my parents?" Willow asked hopefully
not knowing if they had been in town that night. Last time they
had been home for a stopover she didn't even know they had been
there until they mentioned it on the phone the next week in passing.
"Yes, It was difficult to sit them down and go over this with them.
They are always on the go it seems. Luckily the bulk of the house
contents were inventoried when the policy was first purchased.
Which reminds me, your bedroom furniture was included in that
inventory so you don't need to list them."
"This going to be difficult I don't remember what I left behind."
"And you said her person possessions at my house are covered too,"
Buffy said excited at the prospect that her insurance company
might help after all.
Misreading her excitement the Adjuster points out. "Only items
that were brought from her parents home, purchased or gifted to
Miss Rosenberg are covered under the policy and the forms are
bespelled against fraud."
"Bespelled?" The girls gasped.
"You mean this is supernatural insurance?" Willow asked.
"That's why it's called Special Risk. Its only available in
certain areas like LA, Sunnydale, Corpus Christi, Cleveland
and Dover, Delaware to name a few." Ms. Zalusky replied with
a mischievous grin.
"Darn. My insurance won't pay after all." Buffy mumbled.
"That's because you didn't pay the premium. Not because you
closed the hellmouth." Willow pointed out.
"Closed the hellmouth?" Ms Zalusky inquired. " You're that B. Summers?
I have something for you." She bent over to dig through her briefcase
again and pulled out another form and an envelope.
She handed the envelope to Buffy and the form to Willow but addressed
both of them. "This form is not related to the claim. The Parent
Company of W&H Underwriters is in process acquiring the site of
the former city of Sunnydale and will commission a dig to retrieve
lost artifacts and texts. So we would like you to disclose what
you can about what was left behind that is of supernatural importance.
In that envelope is a contract to purchase your right of return
since the property you owned is no longer there and has no real
value at the moment."
She rose from the table and shook both their hands. "Miss Rosenberg,
please call if you have any questions and Miss Summers your case is
being handle special. There is a business card in the packet I gave
you. Good Afternoon." She smiled and let herself out of the apartment.
Buffy opened the envelope and pulled out the business card.
------------------------------
WOLFRAM & HART - Los Angeles
10940 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90024-3915
Phone:(310)555-8282
Angel
President & CEO
-----------------------------
The end.
As I do not write sequels unless previously stated in header all
my fics are up for adoption as long as I get a copy of any
derivative works to archive with the original.
ENDNOTE
*A Cat Team is a group of insurance adjusters who are temporarily pulled off all their other cases and
assigned to natural disasters such as blizzards, hailstorms, earthquakes and tornados.
But not floods. Floods are not a covered loss. :)
Would you like to buy some auto insurance? I have a card around here somewhere...
(this fic was inspired by one line from someone else's fic I don't remember who wrote it or the title but to
paraphrase "I should have purchased that Wolfram & Hart insurance when I had the chance," Anya muttered.)
Author : Stonewar stonewar@alltel.net
Rating : PG
Spoilers: Buffy - Chosen and blatant hints of Angel
finale in the last line.
Keywords Post Chosen vignette
Author's note: As I loathe Kennedy, you will note she
has been written out. That is all.
***
Willow looked up from the laundry she was folding on
the bed when she heared a knock on the door of the
apartment. She, Buffy and Dawn have rented the furnished
apartment to establish a base while the other slayers
scattered to new hellmouths and old homes according to
their preference. Be it ever so humble the two bedroom
with the hide-a-bed is the new Watcher's Council or
whatever they decide to change the name to.
She peaked out the door toward the muffled voices in
the livingroom. Her heart stopped in her chest when to
woman speaking to Buffy looked over at her. Tara!? No
not Tara. She has the same body shape and carriage but
dark haired and eyed and decidedly eastern European
looking. But damn she has the same crooked smile.
'Am I going to see her everywhere now that Kennedy is
gone and I'm alone again. Pesky short-term rebound relationship'
"Miss Rosenberg?" The woman inquires, her voice deep and
melodious. She opens a mammoth day planner so big it has
a shoulder strap and would go with a power suit much better
than the carpenter pants and twin set she is currently
wearing, and pulls out a business card identical to the
one Buffy holds in her hand. "My name is Katy Zalusky.
I'm with W&H Underwriters."
"Insurance?" Willow asks as she walks further into the room
to take the card.
"I was just telling her we really don't have the need for
that kind of stuff just now," Buffy jumped in awkwardly.
"Actually," The woman inserts. "I'm not a salesman. I'm a
claims adjuster. Miss Rosenberg, your parents purchased our
Special Risk Umbrella for their homeowners insurance 4 years ago.
Can we sit?" She gestures toward the kitchen table and chairs just
left of the door.
"I haven't lived in my parents home since high school," Willow
pointed out as they sat at the table.
"That's true but you are a college student under 25 so you can
claim lost possessions."
"I don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth but doesn't that
only apply when I'm living in campus housing. Buffy Dawn...and
I have shared a house full-time for the last two years." Willow
cleared her throat awkwardly hoping Buffy didn't her notice her
stumble over wanting to add Tara to her list of former housemates.
"Normally that is true," She allowed. "Due the total destruction
of the town, the Apocalyptic Catastrophe clause kicked in and
coverage once again extends to you."
Buffy and Willow's eyes widened in surprise, so rarely do they hear
the word apocalypse uttered by someone other than their group or
so casually. They didn't know insurance companies covered apocalypses.
What will they think of next
Ms. Zalusky bent over and pulled forms out of her bulky briefcase.
She laid a large stack in front of Willow. "Don't worry, not all
of this is actually needs to be filled out. This booklet here is
instructions on what is allowable and what is not, how to list
bulk items like CD's and clothes etc. I've given you several copies
of the same form in case of spills and mistakes and such."
"Have you already spoken to my parents?" Willow asked hopefully
not knowing if they had been in town that night. Last time they
had been home for a stopover she didn't even know they had been
there until they mentioned it on the phone the next week in passing.
"Yes, It was difficult to sit them down and go over this with them.
They are always on the go it seems. Luckily the bulk of the house
contents were inventoried when the policy was first purchased.
Which reminds me, your bedroom furniture was included in that
inventory so you don't need to list them."
"This going to be difficult I don't remember what I left behind."
"And you said her person possessions at my house are covered too,"
Buffy said excited at the prospect that her insurance company
might help after all.
Misreading her excitement the Adjuster points out. "Only items
that were brought from her parents home, purchased or gifted to
Miss Rosenberg are covered under the policy and the forms are
bespelled against fraud."
"Bespelled?" The girls gasped.
"You mean this is supernatural insurance?" Willow asked.
"That's why it's called Special Risk. Its only available in
certain areas like LA, Sunnydale, Corpus Christi, Cleveland
and Dover, Delaware to name a few." Ms. Zalusky replied with
a mischievous grin.
"Darn. My insurance won't pay after all." Buffy mumbled.
"That's because you didn't pay the premium. Not because you
closed the hellmouth." Willow pointed out.
"Closed the hellmouth?" Ms Zalusky inquired. " You're that B. Summers?
I have something for you." She bent over to dig through her briefcase
again and pulled out another form and an envelope.
She handed the envelope to Buffy and the form to Willow but addressed
both of them. "This form is not related to the claim. The Parent
Company of W&H Underwriters is in process acquiring the site of
the former city of Sunnydale and will commission a dig to retrieve
lost artifacts and texts. So we would like you to disclose what
you can about what was left behind that is of supernatural importance.
In that envelope is a contract to purchase your right of return
since the property you owned is no longer there and has no real
value at the moment."
She rose from the table and shook both their hands. "Miss Rosenberg,
please call if you have any questions and Miss Summers your case is
being handle special. There is a business card in the packet I gave
you. Good Afternoon." She smiled and let herself out of the apartment.
Buffy opened the envelope and pulled out the business card.
------------------------------
WOLFRAM & HART - Los Angeles
10940 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90024-3915
Phone:(310)555-8282
Angel
President & CEO
-----------------------------
The end.
As I do not write sequels unless previously stated in header all
my fics are up for adoption as long as I get a copy of any
derivative works to archive with the original.
ENDNOTE
*A Cat Team is a group of insurance adjusters who are temporarily pulled off all their other cases and
assigned to natural disasters such as blizzards, hailstorms, earthquakes and tornados.
But not floods. Floods are not a covered loss. :)
Would you like to buy some auto insurance? I have a card around here somewhere...
(this fic was inspired by one line from someone else's fic I don't remember who wrote it or the title but to
paraphrase "I should have purchased that Wolfram & Hart insurance when I had the chance," Anya muttered.)