Alone?
When I'm alone I wonder why
Sometimes the pain of it makes me cry
I sit here shut up in the room,
feeling dark depression and dire gloom
When had I last been happy, laughing in the sun?
Of course I can remember
Those days with dear Sayoran
But were those moments just a dream,
A memory of a past life, clear as glass, smooth as cream?
We've grown apart so much of late
Sometimes his coldness seems to overflow with hate
I wonder at myself so much
Why do I bother,
Why must I care like such?
I care so much it sometimes hurts
Even though they're only words
A wound so painful
it stabs and bleeds
I wish it would stop,
For relief is what I need
Alone, unloved, that's how I feel
The excruciating pain is very real
The knife edges closer to my chest
After it's over I'll have eternal rest
But then I think of my Sayoran
How will he feel when it's all done?
I can see him now,
And how chilling and cold the vision is!
I feel cold sweat drip down my brow
Sayoran is cold and distant,
But I know what's in his heart
He'd be agonized the instant
He saw my dead body and stilled heart
He'd blame himself, and cry in shame
He'd think it's his fault indeed
His life would never be the same
Because of my selfish greed
Yet how am I to know for sure?
What proof do I bear?
Nothing but a feeling in my heart
That tells me he still cares
I put down the knife and hurl myself on my bed
Sobbing wildly and passionately
My conscience heavy, my mind blurred, beyond sad
He'll never tell say he loves me
He'll never tell me his feelings, he'll hide behind his cold façade
Forever will I live like this, unhappy
Never equipped with love's soft wings to freely glide
My tears finally dry as I fall into a troubled sleep
And in my dreams I see someone special
With wood-brown eyes and a voice so sad and deep
Soothing my pain as I lay my head in his lap and softly, quietly, wearily weep
Author's notes:
I am so bored! Please read and review! Please! Please?