I didn't choose this life, I just got stuck in it…by genes. Why did it have to be me? There are so many people out there that would kill for the gift I have, why couldn't they get it? I hate this part of my life, but there's absolutely nothing I can do to change it. But how the hell am I supposed to live with myself after what I just did? She'll probably never speak to me again. Those scars will remain on her body for the rest of her life. Maybe I should go after her-no she won't even look at me, let alone talk to me. But now she knows my secret-the secret I can't tell anyone. People would freak if they found out what I was, but I don't see how that can be avoided now. Rain starts to descend from the clouds and hit me like an annoying little kid poking you in the face. I absolutely despise the rain-yea I know, weird-so I take off running with the speed of a bullet, but faster, not giving a crap who sees me. That's not going to matter when Maria gets to the hospital and exposes me for what I really am.

My Papi's going to be so pissed. My papi, the lucky one, who got to skip this horrible disease and be normal. What I wouldn't give to be normal and never have the power to hurt someone like that ever again. Well, at least not any girls-and especially not my girlfriend. I surrender myself to these thoughts of anger, hatred, guiltiness, and self-pity as I run all the way home, barely noticing any of my surroundings. Luckily, when I get home, my dad isn't home; I don't want him to see me like this and I definitely don't want to have to tell him what happened. That reaction is not something I'm looking forward to. I take a seat on the couch in the living room in an attempt to calm myself-I'm shaking so much, it'll only be a matter of time before I change again and I can't allow that. Not right now, maybe not ever. It's just so hard to believe that I was stupid enough to let myself get angry to the point I couldn't control myself and I had to change. So what if she was getting on my nerves, harassing me about some girl she claimed to see me with-that was no reason to do what I did. It's just that I haven't really been stable lately-and that's not something you can afford when you have my condition. My cousin, Makano, recently died from an 'animal attack', but I know the truth. He was attacked by those damn vampires! Sure, he was probably being all cocky, thinking he could take it and wanting to protect his home, but he was just no match for those flippin blood suckers. When I saw his body at the funeral it filled me with so much anger I thought I was going to explode right then and there. From that moment I vowed I would have my revenge, I just don't know when and where, but I'll have it. I promise you, Makano, I will avenge you.

After taking a cool shower-which did calm me down quite a bit-I decided just to relax on my bed. Probably not a good idea, since that gurantees thoughts will begin to flow in my mind and I'll probably get all upset again, but it's too late…they have already started pouring. These aren't angry thoughts, though, just self-pity and depressing thoughts. My Maria, my beautiful Maria, who I've scarred for life. The only girl in my whole freaking school, who understands me, who knows me-well not my secret part until today-who doesn't make fun of me because I'm Mexican-well half Mexican. Then again, since she's Mexican, too that wouldn't make much sense. She means the world to me and I love her with all of my heart; she's all I have at that school, well, her and my friend, Skylark. I think it's so cool how he doesn't judge me like all the others, and even though hanging out with me downs his popularity, he still does it. He's definitely my best friend-my only friend here-and without him and Maria I don't know how I could survive being stuck here in California. Don't get me wrong, Cali's nice, but it's not my home, it's not Mexico. Plus, all the people here-well mostly at my school- are so stuck up and so concerned with fashion and popularity it's ridiculous. I just wanna go back home to where I get treated with respect, where my family and friends are, and where I belong.

A few reminiscent images of the past flash in my head and fill my body with temporary joy-temporary because I know what I'm going to have to deal with soon is catastrophically major. After a few more minutes of just thinking about my home and the beach I used to go to all the time, I decide I have to call Maria. Even if she won't talk to me, I have to at least know she's okay. After I dial the number, it rings for a while, and just when I am about to give up, she answers. I never thought I could feel so relieved to hear someone's voice before in my life.

"Maria, estás bien(are you okay)?" Please don't hang up. "Oh it's you." The way she said it, wasn't really angry or irritated, just sort of casual and expectant. That's weird, I expected her to be furious with me. "Yea, what's going on? Have they done surgery yet?...Did you tell them?" I was spitting out the questions like a cannon, except for the last one, the one that I really didn't want to know the answer to. "They've already cleaned me up, and they're going to stitch me up in a few minutes-they're setting up everything now. And if you mean about the freak thing you turned into, no." Huh? Then what did she tell them? "I told them I was attacked by a bear…They don't need to know everything." She added in a whisper, not too much lower than she'd already been talking, but you could tell the difference…well I could. I can't believe she didn't rat me out. I mean, here I am, the whole time freaking out, when she didn't even say anything. But this sounds a little too good to be true. "Why?..Why didn't you tell them the truth?" I ask, matching her whispering tone. "Is that what you wanted me to do? Because if that's what you want, I'll tell them right now!" she threatened, raising her voice level extremely. I definitely wasn't expecting that reaction, but I guess she had to get mad at some point after the damage I did to her. "No, no! I just expected you to…well tell them what you really saw, what really happened." What am I doing? Do I want her to tell the truth? "Yea, well. It's not like they would've believed me anyway." I guess she has a point there. What was she supposed to tell them, her boyfriend turned into a monster and attacked her. They'd probably just laugh at her, and seriously recommend she visit a mental health clinic. "You're right…Lo siento mucho(I'm so sorry), Maria!" For some reason emotion suddenly hit me like a wrecking ball as everything finally set it, making my voice break and I am on the verge of crying. It's just becoming too much for me to handle. The whole death thing-with my mom and recently my cousin- my school, my life in Cali, and now hurting someone so near to my heart. I know am strong enough to deal with this, but it's still so hard. "I never meant to do that. And I know I can never make it up to you, but I'm gonna try…I'm gonna try my hardest! I don't want to-I can't lose you. You are my whole world, and there's no way I could get through my life without you." By now, tears are starting to make their way down my face, starting from my eyelids as they slowly roll down my cheeks, lingering briefly, before they travel down to my chin and finally fall off. The fact that I'm crying only worsens this emotional breakdown I'm having-I'm supposed to be a man, but I'm crying like a little kid. How pathetic! I continue to murmur incessant 'I'm sorry's', until she finally stops me. "Oye, está bien(Hey, it's okay). I'll get through this. Mira, tengo que ir( I have to go) but before I do I want to let you know Skylark's in here too." NO, not him too. "Qué(What)?! Por qué(Why)?" "No lo sé(I don't know)-tengo que ir." And before I can get another word out she clicks off. I want to tell her I love her and do so even though she can no longer hear me. Okay, enough of this crying! I have to help the people that I love.