After the Hurricane
By: Nicole Lopez
Summary: Takes place after Edward and Bella's wedding. Jake never split the pack or imprinted Reneesme, but instead tried to move on without Bella...
(A/N: I do not own the characters and haven't actually finished the book, but I got inspired to start this. It was supposed to be a one shot song fic, but it's still in progress. Comment and review. Luv. --NL)
Leah stood staring at me with her eyes that always seemed to be watching, judging, mocking me. I turned away in disgust. I was afraid to let her see my eyes, afraid to let her see how much I was hurting inside because it made me look weak.
So what if I had finally lost Bella for good? She married Edward, she made her choice right? I needed to get over it, I knew that I did but I wanted to do it on my own time, where Leah wasn't peering around every corner and where I wouldn't be surrounded Seth who could read into the deepest corners of my mind.
Being a werewolf had its disadvantages. Right now, Leah Clearwater was pain number one.
"What do you want?" I grumbled, my fingers turning into fists and my fists covering up the inner torture that was burning me apart from the inside.
"Whatever you need oh great alpha." She muttered sarcastically, closing the gap between us and placing her body dangerously close to mine.
"Leah. Don't."
"What's your excuse now Jacob? You don't have Bella to worry about. No one is going to see us and if they do, who cares?" She looked up at me, expecting me to make the first move as usual. Not so deep down I knew that Leah was with me to make Sam jealous.
And I had used her to make Bella jealous only … Bella didn't care who I slept with. It didn't matter because she had still married Edward and she was still going to let him turn her.
"She's out of my life … can you give me a sec?" I wondered, trying to figure out what to do. Leah watched me patiently as I began to wonder if this thing was more complicated than our pseudo-relationship which was really based on comfort and sex … a lot of it.
"Whatever you're feeling, I can relate too, which means I'm hurting just as much as you are." Leah responded candidly, sliding her hands around my waist and creeping up on me from the back. "Don't make yourself miserable." She added, kissing the top of my shoulder blade carefully. That was a high as she could reach.
By now I was 6'3 and still growing. At least she could kiss me more easily than Bella. Bella …
Silently, I stripped off my clothing as Leah smiled, victorious. Even through her smile, I could see the pain, the hurt, the—Feeling of her lips pressed against mine, of her nude breasts tickling my body and beckoning me closer. I didn't deny either of us the little solace that we had left.
After we had drank our share of each other and engaged in an intimacy I would have never have shared with any other girl, in fear of accidently losing control and killing her, Leah lay next to me cold and silent as usual.
I reached for her, pulling the wolf girl's body closer and closer to mine until our temperatures merged and burned into the sheets under us. "Shh." I whispered as I felt wet tears on the pillow next to me. "We'll figure out a way." I promised, kissing behind her neck as a gesture of being loving.
"Maybe there isn't. If this hasn't freed me … I don't know if anything can." Leah's voice broke as I allowed her to turn and face me, still wrapped in my arms.
"I promise I'll figure it out." I replied, wondering why my attempt at imprinting her hadn't worked. I still didn't really understand how it worked, mostly because I had never felt an irresistible urge to unearth it, but I thought that maybe my connection with Leah would be enough.
"Hmm." She muttered her eye lashes fluttering down and then back up at me. "At least you've gotten better."
"What does that mean? I've always been good." I answered, loving Leah's way of bouncing back from nearly every emotion. Only anger and bitterness permeated with her always.
"Before you were with me you couldn't kiss. You couldn't …" She made the hand gestures for what we just did, which made me grin big time.
"I was good and you know it."
"This time … eh." Leah shrugged with a hint of lightheartedness in her voice.
"I can do better than that and I'll prove it." I played along, kissing Leah with such force and passion that I allowed her to see visions of her future, a future free of being defined as the rejected ex-lover of the community's head werewolf.
"Better." She moaned, placing her lips onto mine once more and temporarily tapping into my power to show me how she saw things.
I saw Leah, free from Sam's imprint, happy and carefree with … me by her side. When she finally came up for air, I gasped.
"Relax. It's just a vision." She curled herself close to me and I wrapped my arms around her to shield her from the outer forces when it was the inner demons that were tearing her down. It was because of this, my lack of other options and genuinely looking out for myself and the lessening of my own heartache that I began 'seeing' Leah for real.
"Sam's calling us." Leah burst into my house informing me of the latest news. This she did before looking down at her hands as her body started to tremble. After all this time, she still couldn't control her rage.
"I guess we have to go, don't we?" I sighed, running my hands through my hair and not bothering to throw on a shirt.
"We don't." Leah explained, rushing up to me. "You should be alpha. Your bloodline is--"
"Stop it." I demanded as she narrowed her eyes at me.
"When are you going to grow some balls and step up to the plate?" She growled. I knew what this was about. She was afraid to turn into a werewolf around the guys because then they would know … they would know about what was going on with us.
If I saw her naked in front of everyone again, I wouldn't be able to control my thoughts, and even though Sam was completely in love with Emily, what I was doing felt a little too backstabbing.
"You don't understand Leah. I just--"
"Just shut up Jake." She shook her head in disgust. "I'll tell the guys that I can't find you, that you went off." Leah offered as I nodded. This could work. She glared at me for a while until I finally sighed.
"I don't want you to lie for me." I held out my hands as she walked into my arms, embracing me without embarrassment. We had gotten over those awkward moments just recently and it felt pretty … nice. "I'll face them." I promised, kissing the top of her head as she looked up.
"I really wish that they didn't know what I was thinking." Leah explained as I nodded, kissing her gently. "I don't want you to know either."
"Why not?" I grinned at her, anxious to hear the answer.
"It's private." She answered back, trying to press her lips together in order not to smile. Her attempt failed once I leaned back down, brushing my lips against hers. Leah placed her hands in the back pockets of my jean shorts, resting her head on my chest.
I held her close to me, feeling a line of wet tears stream down from the top of my chest. "Are you okay babe?" I held her face in my hands, unable to stop myself from kissing her again.
"I will be…" Leah responded, wiping her tears quickly before I could blink. She kissed me back forcefully, backing me into the wall so roughly that it left a crack. I grinned at her aggressiveness, which was refreshing since I was normally the one who chased after the girl.
Leah quickly ripped her shirt over her head, removing her bra quickly after. I loved the feel of her small, bare, smooth back. I loved being the only one that could see her so intimately, both on a physical and emotional level. I loved that she continuously challenged me.
In a fit of laughter and mutually shared smiles, she helped me to remove my pants as I felt a burst of happiness. I was almost giddy and it was because I didn't care about Bella at this moment. I didn't care about the fact that she was the first girl I used to think about when I woke up, or the thing that I went to sleep to.
Leah had a different energy to her that was so wild, unrestrained, and never left something to be desired. With Leah hovering over me, I asked her how'd she'd gone from crying to smiling so quickly. "Bi-polar much?"
"No." She looked at me with a twinkle in her eyes. Then, she recounted her idea about what we could do today in lieu of following Sam's orders. It seemed so cathartic, so just free of everything. Something I really needed. And I was looking forward to deepening my connection with Leah and figuring out if it really was healthier than my ongoing obsession with Bella.
"I was just thinking that maybe we could try something new. Maybe if we do it while we're in wolf form--"
"Do you hear yourself?" I growled, disgruntled by how she had taken the idea of us sequestering ourselves somewhere in the wild where no one could find us and sullied it by alluding to its sexual undertones. It was like everything else that went on between us didn't happen. "Is sex all you care about?" I struggled to move, but she had pinned me down.
"No. It's not." Leah looked at me both tearfully and bitterly at the same time. "If you were hopelessly in love with and drawn to a guy that used to love you back just as much, but left you because he found someone better, you'd do everything you could to forget about him. I'm trying.
"But I've done as much as I can to get over it. I have to find a way to undo this imprint, to not be this unhappy and pissed all the time." She released me suddenly.
"So, you're just using me?" I accused, clinching my jaw while sitting up.
"Everyone uses everyone else." Leah barely looked at me as she said the words. "Come on. Let's go." She reached for my hand.
"No."
"No?"
"You ruined it." I responded, hopping out of the bed and starting to put my jean shorts back on.
"Don't be mad."
"I can't … be with you and the pack right now."
"Where are you going?"
"I don't know." I muttered softly, not even knowing if I was going to come back.
As soon as I allowed the distance between Leah and I to widen, I felt so alone. And when I felt alone, I thought about Bella more than ever. She was probably a bloodsucker now, ready to kill whatever was in her view.