I do not own The Vampire Diaries, no copyright infringement is intended.

Elena sighed as she sat at her dressing table with earrings in her hand. They had been picked out and arranged by Caroline and Bonnie- just like her dress had and her necklace, and well the whole party to be honest. Elena had no intention of celebrating her birthday, especially after losing so many people she had loved, but they had insisted.

'Elena we know how hard it's been for you but you need to move on. You need to let yourself live again' cried Caroline the week before when her idea of a birthday party was rejected.

'I can't Car, I just can't. A party now? It would just seem wrong' Elena had replied as she glowered into the distance.

'Elena don't have one for yourself. Have it for the rest of us- we all need a break and some fun. Look at Alaric, he's been depressed ever since…' faltered Bonnie as she looked pleadingly at Caroline for help.

'Bonnie's right about that. Think about Jeremy- he hasn't been himself lately. Elena, you don't want him going into one of his 'phases' do you? He's taking all this much harder than you are. And you're the only one that can help him. We need something to tell us all that everything is alright and that we will get through this' spoke Caroline, much to Bonnie's relief.

Elena considered all that was said before shakily murmuring agreement to the idea of a party.

Caroline beamed and turned to Bonnie, 'Great! Don't worry about a thing Elena- me and Bonnie will handle it. Um… we'll only have a few close friends…. Jeremy and Alaric and Tyler of course….We'll see if we can get any others… but probably not on such short notice…. Hmmm and oh we have to invite Damon', spoke Caroline animatedly.

And that was how the idea of a party came out. Elena was not excited for it- she couldn't have cared less for it, but she had put a fake mask of happiness and enthusiasm whenever asked about it. She had to for everyone, so that they could all get on with their lives.

Elena groaned as she snapped out of her reverie and thoughts of Damon came to her. Since that night, the one where they thought he would die, things had changed between them. Sure they talked, but it wasn't the same as before. They had of course never talked about the kiss, it was a taboo topic between them, but for that matter they hadn't mentioned that night once to each other really. When they did meet, they would strictly talk of Stefan and where they could find him and would ponder about what the hell happened to him.

And then there was Stefan. Not one day went by where she wouldn't think about him. She missed him and ached for him more and more each day. She loved him and missed him, but at certain times she felt certain other emotions for him. Anger- for leaving her at a time when she needed him. Sadness- for never being able to give a proper goodbye. But mostly despair, due to the fact that she perhaps would never see him again and also that she had no idea of what condition he would be in if she ever did find him.

She wished for her parents more than ever- for her father to hug her and her mother to stroke her hair again and advise her on what to do. She thought of Isobel sometimes too and even John. Sure they were horrible to her for the most part, but even they themselves died for her. Elena didn't think about Jenna, she avoided that entirely, at this stage thinking about Jenna would have been too much for her to handle.

'Elena! Everyone's here' called out Jeremy from downstairs, breaking Elena from her thoughts. Elena checked herself in the mirror before placing a fake smile on her lips that didn't quite reach her eyes.

She got up and made her way down to her friends and family. Everyone was there. Bonnie was smiling easily at her with a present in her hand. Jeremy was next to her, with a forced grin plastered on his face. Jeremy had been acting strange lately but Elena hadn't quite talked to Bonnie about that yet. It would have to wait till later. Caroline rushed over and hugged Elena whilst dragging Tyler over with her. Elena and him broke into laughter over Caroline's antics. Alaric was seated in the corner with a drink in his hand. Damon had been talking to him but at Elena's arrival he turned to her. Their eyes met searchingly before they both smiled at each other. It was the first real smile from Elena for a long time.

Suddenly a tall brunette made her way over to Damon, planting a kiss on his cheek. Elena recognised her as Andie Starr. 'When had they started dating? Was she even invited to this thing?' thought Elena irritably.

Elena went around and mingled with the guests, before Andie finally came up to her.

'Elena? Hi, happy birthday! I'm very sorry about Jenna….oh sorry I shouldn't have mentioned that…' spoke Andie as Elena's face drooped.

'Um sorry, I have to go…' Elena muttered before making her way to the door. The breeze outside was calming but did nothing to relax Elena. She was flooded with thoughts that she had worked hard to avoid thinking about.

'Where was Jenna? Where was Stefan? They should have been here with her… They should never have left her! Where was her family?' thought Elena with tears forming in her eyes.

She was pacing across the porch, when she accidently kicked over something. Curious, she bent over and picked it up. It was a present, wrapped neatly, with 'Elena' written on its tag. She opened it up, only to find a folded piece of paper. Reading it, she gasped out loud.

At that moment Damon walked out with a worried expression, 'Elena are you alright? Andie told me what happened… Wait what's wrong? '.

Wordlessly Elena handed him the paper with a frightened look.

Damon read it and looked up at Elena, his mouth hanging open.

'Because I owe you one, I'll tell you this:

Stefan is back to his old ways.

There's no point trying to find him now.

Rippers after all don't want to be 'saved' do they?'