Disclaimer: Burn Notice and its character's still don't belong to me. I'm just borrowing them for a while.
A/N This is a really short one shot that just came to me a couple of days ago. I've often wondered if Nate was ever jealous of the things his brother achieved.
This takes place pre-season 1 up to present day.
Huge thanks as always to Purdy's pal for having a look at the first draft and to Daisy Day for the encouragement.
Brother's
Nate had never been jealous of his brother, not really. There were times, yes when he envied him. When Michael left to join the military and left him behind, he resented the fact that he wasn't old enough to join up too. Nate wanted to escape from the life they had both endured on a daily basis. With Michael gone, his whole world collapsed around him.
Time went on and silence followed. Michael disappeared from their lives and Nate was left to deal with the aftermath alone. Life went on in the same usual mundane way and the envy slowly withered, leaving behind the bitter aftertaste of abandonment. But he still loved his brother even though he had left him behind.
Then one day out of the blue, long after their father had died, Nate's long distant brother returned. He looked so much older than he had before he left. His eyes held a maturity way beyond his years, and Nate began to wonder if the fading bruises and scars adorning Michael's body had anything to do with it. But he didn't ask, he was happy to have his brother home.
That night they had stayed up late, catching up with family news, but Nate could already see that Michael was only half involved in the conversation. His eyes drifted off to somewhere, loosing himself in his thoughts. When Nate's voice brought him back from his memories, Michael offered soft apologies and fake smiles. But his younger brother never asked him where his mind had taken him.
It was in the early hours of the morning that Michael unknowingly revealed a secret. He was laid on the couch in a deep feverish sleep, mumbling loud enough to wake Nate from where he had dosed off in the chair.. Michael tossed and turned, grasping his hands at an invisible foe with an unrecognisable name slipping from his lips.
Nate debated on waking him, but his brother seemed to settle down, and the thrashing of arms and legs died down. He settled back into the chair and watched his older brother for a few more minutes before he closed his own eyes, listening to the clock ticking on the mantle.
A peaceful hush filled the room until Michael moved again, turning onto his side with a soft groan. He sighed in his sleep and shifted again. Nate opened his eyes and looked at his brother's sleeping form, surprised to see a smile gracing his face. He spoke again, his voice so soft that Nate had to strain to hear him, but this time there was no mistaking the name that escape his sleep drench mumbling.
The younger Westen sat up in his chair and watched his brother with such intensity, unsure if he'd only imagined it.
"Fiona…"
That one word slipped from Michael's sleeping form once more, causing Nate to wonder who this woman was and why she was haunting his brother's dreams. In all the years they had been living under the same roof, Nate couldn't ever remember his brother talking in his sleep. Making a mental note he decided he would ask about the mysterious woman in the morning.
"Who's Fiona?" he'd asked with a wide smile while they were chewing on their mother's overcooked bacon and eggs. "You talk in your sleep bro!"
Michael's eyes shot to his brothers and his face flushed slightly. He didn't supply an answer, instead he continued to eat and Nate knew there was no use asking him again. Whoever this woman was, she was someone his brother wanted to keep to himself. He never spoke of her again and he was gone the following day.
It had been over five years since Michael's night time admission, but Nate had never forgotten. He had spent the last few years hoping that he could find a woman who brought that kind of emotion out in him like this mysterious Fiona had brought out in his brother.
When Michael returned looking dishevelled and worse for wear, he'd brought an air of defiance with him. He wasn't happy to be back and he avoided their mother as often as he could, but Nate knew he was just trying to escape the memories associated with Miami. But one day everything changed when Michael appeared with a woman by his side. She was petite and fiery, but the way they looked at each other caused Nate's envy to resurface once again.
The woman beside his brother seemed to bring out a fire in Michael's eyes that Nate thought had died so long ago. The pair of them drew sparks just by being in the same room and he couldn't help but swallow down the hint of jealousy that ate away at him. Michael had escaped Miami, lived his life and managed to find a woman who looked at him with such devotion. Nate wanted that too. He wanted the life, the love, the money…he wanted everything that his brother had.
When Nate met the young woman face to face, everything suddenly became clear to him. It was an innocent conversation, a few words passed between his brother and her, but it told him everything, more than Michael would ever openly admit. His brother loved this woman in the most deepest, most intense way, even though he probably hadn't even realised it yet.
"It's just one day, Michael," she'd told him, her voice as smooth as velvet when she'd leaned into his brother's side.
They had looked at each other with so much adoration that Nate couldn't help but gasp out a breath. He hoped that one day he would have a woman look at him that way.
Michael leaned against her, touching his forehead to hers as she smiled.
"Okay," he'd whispered. "But only one day, no more…"
"Of course," she'd laughed and jumped up to spring around in front of him to grab his hand.
Nate watched them curiously. He had no idea what they were planning, or why he was so intrigued until Michael spoke her name.
"Fiona…"
Nate's mouth hung open when he watched them walk away, her arm tucked in his as she bounced alongside him. Was this the same Fiona? The same woman whose name his brother had uttered in his sleep all those years ago? As time went on he came to realise that she was indeed the same Fiona and when he saw them together he realised why Michael had been so drawn to her.
Five years on and Nate still marvelled at the past ten years. So many things had changed for both of the Westen brothers. Shifting his baby son in his arms, Nate watched the exchange between Fiona and Michael as the came walking into his mother's house. They still ignited a fire when they were together and the smouldering looks they gave each other made his envy flare, but only for a second.
His son gurgled up at him and Nate looked down into bright innocent eyes. He smiled down at the infant with a burst of fatherly pride…his life wasn't perfect but it was good. But this single moment proved one thing to him, something that eased the past away.
He had never been jealous of his brother, not really….
end
