Author's Note: This author's note sucks. There is a better one at the bottom.

DISCLAIMER: All characters and franchises are the intellectual property of Nintendo, Sega, and others. I own nothing. I'm not just talking about copyright – I literally do not own anything. If you see me, please give me some food. I am typing this buck naked in the public library.

You have to start somewhere.

Every story needs a beginning, no matter how arbitrary. So – why not? – I'll give this one a running start. The setting is the Green Hill Zone of the planet Mobius. A blue blur ran across the green, bizarrely curvy landscape at damn near the speed of sound. No, not Sonic; it was one of his evil, robotic counterparts. It was also our target. There was a big bounty for the capture of this Metal Sonic, and Manny didn't want to miss out on it.

By Manny I am referring to the gray, muscly, four-armed fellow chasing the blue blur at a much, much slower pace. Manny Tasby was a Machamp. A talking Machamp. It's… complicated. There's this thing called Oscelon, you see, and… well, the details aren't important right now. You can go read my report on the Pocketian Space Pirate War if you want them, but that really isn't necessary. All you need to know is that Manny is a Machamp with an almost-human mind. His failure to fit in with either humans or Pokémon is, in part, what led him to choose this life.

A few weeks ago Manny had left his home planet, Pocket, to become a spacefaring bounty hunter. So far he hadn't had much success. Okay, any success. "But I have a good feeling about this time!" he'd told me on the way to Mobius. Idiot.

Back to the chase. One character's still missing from this picture: me. You know that new sleek, white model of R.O.B.-brand robots? That was me, following Manny, alternately rolling and hovering. I'm Dexter, Manny's… well, technically, I'm his spaceship. That's where my CPU is located. From there, I can remotely control a R.O.B. – and I often do, especially when Manny's on a mission. Lord knows he can't do anything without my help.

In fact, he has enough trouble doing anything with my help. Hence, our current mess. As I'd warned, capturing Metal Sonic would require near-perfect reflexes. Manny had jumped out of the bush a fraction of a second too late. Now he faced the impossible task of chasing down Dr. Eggman's supersonic robot.

"Man, this thing is fast!" Manny whined. "To hell with the fatass who built it!"

I didn't say it, but frankly, I think that Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik gets a bad rap. The number of scientific and technological breakthroughs he's made is astounding, and his industries reach so far that if he were to die now, the entire Mobius economy would collapse. And you'd be surprised how many orphanages he's founded. Sure, he tries to conquer the world every now and then, but if you shared his level of intellect, you'd get pretty bored too. I can relate.

But things are the way they are, so there we were, trying to destroy a magnificent piece of scientific progress in the name of pea-brained common folk everywhere. Okay, as a robot myself, maybe I'm a little bitter. Can you blame me? For every new technological advancement nowadays it's "oooh, scary evil robot, we must destroy it!" All it took was a few measly robot uprisings and already the meatbags have it out for us.

So, yes, I was a little hesitant about this mission; but despite how much I mocked Manny, I wanted above all other things to see him succeed. Sometimes though, he really tests my faith in him. For example: during the chase, a loop-the-loop stood in our path. Manny tried to run up it. He'd barely run up a few meters before he fell and slid back down. Stupidly, he tried again, with the same result. "You can go around the loop, moron," I kindly informed him.

"Yeah, but I wanted to…" Manny looked disappointed. "Fine, whatever. Who the hell designed this crazy planet, anyway?"

"Actually, the loop-like structures of Mobius are the result of a very interesting natural phenomenon in which…"

A loud explosion interrupted me. It came from far in front of us – right where Metal Sonic ought to be.

"What was that?" Manny asked, but I saw his sad, defeated expression. He knew exactly what that was. The same thing had happened twice before.

Nonetheless, Manny held on to a spark of hope as he anxiously ran toward the explosion.

We got to the top of the hill. There, on a stretch of flat land, I saw more or less what I had expected. Metal Sonic was tied up and non-functioning. Above him stood his triumphant captor: a human figure covered in red, yellow, and purple armor. Samus Aran had beaten us to the prize again.

Samus took off her helmet, revealing her slender face and blonde hair tied back in a ponytail. She half-smiled at Manny and me with a mix of pleasant surprise and smug satisfaction. I think she was about to say something, but Manny didn't give her the chance.

"Now, before you say anything," said an agitated Manny, "I'll have you know that you wouldn't have even caught Bionic the Hedgebot or whatever if it weren't for me. I scared him over to you. Get it? I chased him over to right where you wanted him, and I think I ought to take 50% of the bounty for my help."

"Fifty percent?" Samus barely even looked mad – mostly, she seemed concerned. "Manny, that's absurd, and you know it. Your 'help' didn't mean anything to me."

"Fine," Manny said, crossing his lower arms. "Forty percent."

Samus rolled her eyes. Then she sighed, and she softly replied. "Manny, I know that you've been having a hard time ever since you left Pocket. Believe it or not, I know what that's like – all bounty hunters have some trouble adjusting at first. Listen: if you're really as desperate as you sound, I'm willing to let you have twenty-five percent of Metal Sonic's bounty. As an act of charity."

"Charity?" Manny clenched his fists; he had wild eyes. "You know what, take the bounty! All of it! And you can take that twenty-five percent 'charity' and stick it where the sun don't shine! How's that for a deal?"

"You drive a hard bargain," Samus deadpanned.

As she spoke, Manny was already walking away. He was still in a huff; he practically dug his feet into the ground with each step. "Well, you certainly showed her," I said to him.

)(

I suppose that some more background information is warranted.

Believe it or not, Samus was a friend of ours. There was a Space Pirate invasion on Pocket that lasted about a month, and Samus was there the whole time, helping us fight them off. Samus and Manny worked together to kill the Space Pirates' Phazon-infused leader, Mewtwo. Well, Samus did most of the work, and other Pokémon helped, but Manny delivered the final blow. Unfortunately, I think it sort of went to his head, and now he was convinced that he could do just about anything. Anyways, Samus had remained a friend, but now she was a friend and a rival bounty hunter.

Back to Mobius. By the time Manny got to his gray, round ship, he'd cooled off considerably. Now he just seemed depressed. I turned off my R.O.B. unit; now I could interact with Manny as the ship. I turned on my engines. "Looks like we're blasting off again," Manny sighed as I initiated launch.

I waited until we were above the stratosphere before asking the obvious question. "Blasting off to where, exactly?"

"I dunno, Dex. You're the brains guy, you figure it out."

"I don't strive to be the only one with any brains. You were stupid not to accept Samus's offer. The money we brought with us from Pocket is almost gone, and that's despite the fact that you've been eating nothing but stale Pokébites for weeks. If we don't find some money soon you'll have no choice but to file for unemployment."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," said Manny as he opened an expired can of Pokébites. He sounded tired and unmotivated.

"Is that food some sort of IQ-dampener?" I asked. "Because I could swear that you weren't this big an idiot back on Pocket."

Manny swallowed his food. Then he nodded. "It's true," he admitted. "I've really been slippin'. I think… I think it's about Tom. Back on Pocket, y'know, he was almost as new to training as I was to battling, and then the Space Pirates came and that kept a big chunk of our minds occupied… I dunno how to put it, really, but I felt like I had to stay strong for him. I mean, the kid was just fourteen. I had to keep it together. Otherwise, with the war on and all… what would've happened to him?

"I guess now that he's gone, there just ain't anything holding me together. So yeah, Dex, you're right; I can't do anything right lately."

Tom Tasby was Manny's Pokémon trainer. He was my owner as well – I was his Pokédex. That's how I got my name. Tom was a good trainer, but an awful namer. Anyway, he had captured Manny as a mere Machop in Mt. Moon and had trained him all the way to his evolution into a Machamp and beyond.

"Man, I don't get it," said Manny. "When I took up this job I thought I'd kick ass at it by default. All I did was save the friggin' universe from the most powerful Pokémon ever, and now I can't catch a single damn criminal to save my life."

"We've gone over this before," I said. "You're very strong, yes, but bounty hunting isn't a mere muscle-flexing contest. This is a new realm for you, and you need experience to learn your strengths and weaknesses so that you can properly utilize your strengths and work around your weaknesses."

"Blah, blah, just need experience," Manny grumbled. "I gotta wonder where I'll get my experience from once we're broke."

"Yes, if only we had a friend willing to offer us money and delay that problem."

Manny snorted, but otherwise didn't respond. "I'm just tired," he said. "I'm gonna go nap for a while."

)(

Manny was considerably more chipper after his nap. "If it's experience I need, then let's get on it!" he said. "C'mon, let's get back to the 'Wanted' list. Time to pick my next victim."

"You mean first victim."

"Blah, whatever! Let's just pick up where we left off. Use shuffle mode, like you always do."

"In that case, some of the targets may be well above your caliber. Perhaps we should filter the list to include only targets with a smaller bounty."

"Nah, just show me all of them."

I made a mid-size screen descend from the ceiling until Manny could see it from his seat. Then I turned the screen on. A certain government-run site on the Database contained pictures of many wanted criminals accompanied by the reward (or "bounty") for capturing them. Manny and I sometimes went through these pictures in search of a target.

The first picture was of a Jigglypuff. "Oh, don't tell me this cwute wittle cwitter is wanted for mass murder or somethin'," said Manny.

"Not quite. Actually, it's not unusual for Jigglypuff to be part of a heist – their ability to 'Sing' and make others fall asleep, including guards and potential witnesses, is very useful in the crime world. This individual is wanted for assistance in a variety of crimes."

"Yeesh, really? This fuzzy ball of adorableness?"

"Cuteness does not equal innocence. Haven't you heard of the Pikmin Race Wars?"

"Okay, okay, no need to bring that up. Just show me the next picture."

With a click, the picture on the screen changed. (The click wasn't really necessary, but I liked to add it for emphasis.) "Who's this Funkeh Monkeh?" asked Manny.

"He's an ape."

"Oh. Well, who's this funkeh… ape?"

"This is Funky Kong, of the Kong Islands on the Mushroom World. He's wanted for selling some rather 'funkeh' bananas, and possibly balloons filled with illegal narcotics as well."

Click.

"Hey, wait a moment, that's Luigi!"

"No," I explained, "that's Weegee, and he's not to be underestimated. He's wanted for impersonating a Mario Brother."

"Lemme guess – for impersonating Luigi."

"No, actually, for impersonating Mario. Nobody's really sure how he got away with that one."

"Now you're just screwing with me."

"For once, I'm not."

Click.

"Yikes, what's up with the creeper in the pajamas?"

"That's Tingle, of the planet Hyrule. He's wanted for crimes against humanity. I'd just move on if I were you."

"Yeah, let's do that."

Click.

"What's this guy wanted for?"

"Using copyrighted characters in his own stories."

"Sounds pretty heinous."

"Indeed. Shall I move on?"

"Actually, you know what? I think I found my new target. Give me all the information you've got on this 'Weegee' fellow."

Oh boy. "Manny, you're doing that thing again."

"That thing?"

"Yes, that thing where you act like a complete goddamn idiot. I know you have a brain, so use it for a moment. Do you really think that the price on Weegee's head would be so high if he were easy to catch? Did you not consider that countless bounty hunters, all of them more experienced than you, have gone for the same target before? That every single one of these hunters failed? The smart ones gave up before encountering him. The rest… they were victims of his Weegee Stare."

"Sounds like a tough catch," said Manny. But I could see that twinkle in his eye. The "I'm totally gonna go for this guy, no matter what Dexter says" twinkle. I knew it well, and I knew there was no way to extinguish it. Still, I had to try.

"Manny, you must understand – impersonation is merely the only crime Weegee has been caught committing. Everything around him is shrouded in mystery. He turns up, he disappears, and he can leave entire villages rambling mad in the time between. His origin is the subject of myths and legends; some say Weegee has existed since the beginning of time. Scientists are puzzled by him. Some of his victims still scream at the mention of his name. I hope I've made myself clear: pick another target."

I can't say I didn't warn him.

Author's Note: So this is sort of a sequel to Poketroid, but it's completely different and stands on its own. It's more of a spin-off, really. As I try to make clear, you do not have to have read Poketroid to understand The Adventures of Manny Tasby.

This isn't a typical Super Smash Bros. fan fiction - or a typical fan fiction of any type, really. It takes place in an original universe where various Nintendo franchises have come to life. But what is Super Smash Bros, ultimately, other than a way to bring all of Nintendo's worlds into one place? So I think that Manny Tasby's story fits into this section just fine. As more characters appear, that will become clearer.

If you're curious, Poketroid is a Pokemon/Metroid crossover epic adventure... thing that I wrote a while back. You can go find it if you want to learn more about Manny and Dexter's origins - but, again, it's not required.