Disclaimer—I do not own (the stories and/or characters) from any of the following shows (hold onto your seats, people! It's a long list and this will be the only location within the story were all the crossovers will be mentioned) Harry Potter, Deadpool, The Avengers, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, The Librarian, Dead Like me, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Warehouse 13, The Dark Hunter Series, and Wolverine/X-Men. Wow, what a list. And sadly I do not earn moneys from the posting of this story.
Hello, everyone! Long time, no author's note. Hope everyone is doing well. Here's a new adventure. Enjoy!
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Prologue
Hermione walked into Deadpool's apartment, dropping down to sit on his sofa. He blinked at her, looking over to the door before looking over to where the writer was sitting. Shaking his head, he went over to where the British witch was just sitting.
"Whatchya doing here, Sweet Cheeks?" he asked casually. "I thought with the last of those Hermione Meets Marvel stories we'd never see each other again."
"I thought the very same," she said. "But after a series of bad story ideas, the writer's computer crashing, and a long period of writer's block the author has decided that you and I would make for a good comedy romance story idea."
He thought that over, asking, "Is she aware that I'm a rude, crude man with far more personality than should be legal—meaning that I have several personalities because I'm nuttier than a fruitcake?"
"Yes, she's aware of that," Hermione replied.
"And does she know that I'm a mass of cancerous tumors that have me looking worse than a two day old dried up turd?"
"Apparently she's going to be changing that part of your backstory," she informed him.
"Whatever happened to respect for cannon I ask you?!" he demanded of no one in particular.
"If she had stayed with cannon, I would be married to Ronald Weasley."
Deadpool thought that over. "And that wouldn't be good?"
"Not even the author of the books we were in thinks Ronald and I would have been a good match and said as much years after the fact."
"Oh," he breathed, but then he straightened up and inquired, "Does she know that I am in love with the personification of death herself?"
She nodded to this, adding, "She even has an answer to that too." Getting to her feet. "This isn't a part of the Hermione Meets Marvel universe. It's a completely different realm so none of the others are going to know who I am." She worried her lower lip. "Some might, but seeing as they aren't going to be in the story it doesn't matter."
"So you and I will end up together? We're going to do the nasty, bumpin' uglies, and all those other things that mean we're having sex?"
Hermione turned to glare at the writer, muttering, "With this one, you never know. She either writes me as a sexual submissive that requires a firm hand or I'm a right fine detective who ends up with my soulmate as if by fate."
"Oooh!" Deadpool leered at the author. "Sexual submissive that likes spanking? Kinky."
"More like bondage rather than spanking." Hermione rolled her eyes, adding, "But that isn't important."
"What is?" he inquired.
"Honestly, I haven't a clue anymore," she said in a resigned voice. "The point I was trying to make was to let you know that I am basically Death in this story."
He blinked at her. "You are?"
She nodded. "But the reasons and everything will be explained later on in the first chapter of the story."
Deadpool thought this over and looked over to the writer. "Haven't a clue yet, huh?"
(Blushing the author shakes her head)
He looked back over to Hermione. "Well, I don't have anything better to do. What about you?"
"Seeing as the writer's been coming up with some of the most ridiculous crossovers imaginable, no, I guess I don't."
"Like what?" he asked.
She went over to him, whispering what the writer had attempted to write.
"No!" Deadpool gasped in horror. Pulling out his .9 mm he aimed it at the writer only to have Hermione jump in the way.
"She deleted it!" she exclaimed. "And swore never to attempt to write another fanfiction with that idea as a crossover again." He tried to aim around Hermione. Rolling her eyes she added, "She's fixing your tumor issue so that you look normal and she's currently giving you a love interest—something a lot of fanfiction writers out there aren't doing!"
Pulling back the gun, he said, "Okay, but if I hear one word about her going back to writing a Green Lantern fanfiction staring Ryan Reynolds, she's as good as dead!"
They were silent for a few minutes, as Deadpool took the time to calm down. It wasn't until then that he asked what she was doing there at his apartment at all.
"We've done other stories," he said casually. "Why does this one require a home visit first?"
"She was hoping that by me asking, you'd do her a favor," she told him.
"What favor?"
"She would very much appreciate it if you would not break the fourth wall during the duration of this story," Hermione said to him. "The readers who've never read any of your comic books don't understand that's something you do all the time."
He nodded to this and asked, "Same deal as with the last two Hermione Meets Marvel stories?"
Hermione nodded. "A refrigerator constantly full of chimichangas for the duration of the story with a bonus at the end."
He thought that over. "Okay. She has herself a deal."
Hermione studied him a moment. "You ran out of the last batch I left here, didn't you?"
"Of course I did," he drawled. "See ya later, Sweet Cheeks. I have some work to do before getting all up into your lady parts."
Hermione went back out to the taxi, wishing not for the first time that she wasn't one of three main female characters in a male saturated story. She sat down, sighing heavily. Well, she thought, it could be worse. The writer could be switching her gender like more than a few other fanfiction writers did all the time to Harry or even Blaise Zabini. Shuddering she wrapped her arms around herself, as the cab drove her away.
TBC…
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So there's the prologue! What do you think of it so far? Review to let me know. Thank you, as always, for taking time out of your day for reading and I hope that all of you are having a spectacular day.
