Title: Fur ball
Rating: K
Category: Harry verse, Richard/Camille, Established relationship, humour
Summary: Apparently, having pets is good for children – or so Camille insists. Follows on from Family Tree.
A/N: Just a short addition to the series. I am actually working on a longer fic for this series at the moment, but realised this idea would come before it chronologically.
"But having a pet will be good for the children! It will teach them about responsibility and, um, animal welfare!" Camille was at a complete loss to why Richard objected to them buying a pet, acting like he was completely adverse to the idea. That, of course, was not true. He was completely adverse to the pet he knew she wished to purchase. In a rare display of manipulation was hoping that when he eventually conceded to perhaps being amenable to the creature of his choice, she would jump on the suggestion.
"Why on earth do we require an animal to teach them those things? We can take them to the animal sanctuary for visits." Camille didn't look impressed by his suggestion.
"That is not the same," she whined, sounding rather like Harry when he wanted something badly.
"Camille, animals cost a lot of money, shouldn't we spend that on our children rather than something that only loves us because we feed it?"
She sighed aggressively, and Richard started to question if he wasn't pushing her a little bit further than he actually intended, "Richard, as I have been trying to explain, a pet would be for the children."
"Surely Alex is still too little to appreciate it, though? The girl's only just dragged herself to her feet." And, much to his surprise, was capable of reaching speeds Richard did not think should be possible in one so young. He would often have to hare after her at the park, and normally only caught up because she lost her balance and fell on her bum. She was certainly good at keeping his fitness levels up.
"Well I didn't exactly plan on buying something that will expire in the next 6 months!" She huffed.
"Well," he began, drawing it out as if the whole thing was a bloody inconvenience and he hoped she realised how terribly generous he was being. "I suppose we could get a dog. But a proper one mind, some sort of gun dog. I don't want a little yappy thing, it would be embarrassing."
She narrowed her eyes at him and Richard knew the game was up instantly, "Oh I knew you didn't object to a pet really! Honestly, Richard, that was very underhand." Damn, she knew him far too well. He shot her a guilty look, and knew now that she would get whatever she wanted. "A dog is not practical, Richard, though I know it's what you'd like. I am trying to get back to work full time and it isn't possible to leave a dog alone all day – it wouldn't be fair on the poor thing."
"We could train him as a sniffer dog and bring him to work with us!" He suggested brightly, though he knew it was a ridiculous idea. So did Camille, who simply raised both eyebrows and levelled him with a look. He shrugged, "Worth a try."
"No, we need an animal with a little more…independence."
Richard knew what she was going to suggest, had from the very start, so hurried to supply an alternative idea, "Like a lizard?"
"Well, I think Harry is probably old enough to appreciate a lizard but I really don't think Alex would be very impressed. You know how much that girl loves her cuddly toys." Yes, yes he did – at the moment they were forced to set an extra place at the table for her stuffed elephant called Snoof, a name whose origin was a complete mystery to the pair of them.
"Oh fine, what are we getting then?" He asked, finally conceded defeat.
"I think we should get a cat." At least Camille pretended it was just a suggestion.
He was unable to keep the distaste off his face, which caused Camille to roll her eyes, "Why do you object so much to cats?"
"Well, they're just fur balls really. They aren't smart or loyal like dogs, and they won't catch insects like the lizard would. Before you say it, we don't have any vermin for it to control, the blasted thing will probably just end up decimating the local bird population!" He felt all of his complaints so far were valid, even though Camille clearly didn't. He wasn't finished yet either, "Plus they have claws and they aren't shy about using them! A cat could hurt the children, Camille."
"They are not just fur balls, Richard. They like sitting in your lap and purring, it's like having a free hot water bottle!" He gave her a look to remind her that nobody needed a hot water bottle on Saint Marie. "We can get her - or him - a little collar with a bell on so that birds are forewarned. And I am sure I will be able to locate a cat of suitable temperament to be around small children."
Richard was a detective, a good one, and he spotted what was going on immediately, "You've already found a cat, haven't you?"
She looked suitable chastised, "Maybe…"
He sighed, "You're cleaning out the litter tray!" Camille gave a squeak of pleasure and threw her arms around him. The gesture made Richard feel like perhaps it wouldn't be so bad. After all, he had learned a long time ago it was always better to be in Camille's good books.
Camille was currently only doing 3 days a week at work, trying to get Alex into the routine of day care. She was hoping to work up to doing school hours 5 days a week. Richard knew she was actually guilt ridden about the entire thing, but being a police officer was an essential part of who she was and he supported her return to work entirely. If she changed her mind tomorrow and decided to stay at home full time, he would also support that – but he didn't think that would happen. When he left for work Thursday morning she had informed him that she and Alex would be going to pick up the fur ball that afternoon.
When he walked in that evening, he could hear both his children giggling with a hysterical sort of joy in the living room, and decided putting up with a cat was definitely going to be worth it. He peered in the living room, saw Camille waving what looked like some sort of fake bird on the end of a stick, clearly intended to entertain the cat. It was the most ridiculous thing he had ever seen.
But then he saw the cat.
The thing was a mass of fur, with alarmingly yellow eyes that Richard thought gave it a really rather sinister appearance. Instead of a tale, some sort of short stubby furry thing stuck out of its back end. He was certain that Camille had not brought home a cat, but some aberration of nature.
"What is that?" He cried, causing both his children to stare up in alarm.
"Poofs!" Alex said helpfully, pointing to the creature. He could tell she had been allowed to name the accursed thing.
"Mrs Poofs," Harry clarified. The boy had a slightly strange obsession with titles.
The title worked to distract Richard for a moment, "Mrs? Who is she married too?"
"Snoof," Harry told him, as if the answer was obvious. Richard was relieved there was not another monstrosity hiding somewhere in the living room.
"Well, she's, uh, unique looking?"
"She is a Cymric, it is a longhaired breed of Manx cat," Camille told him, a warning note in her voice. She was probably worried he would pass on his distaste for the creature to the children.
"Ah, that explains the lack of tail."
Camille tickled the fur ball under the chin, and it obliged her by purring at a volume he didn't know was possible, "Yes, poor thing. I got her from the animal sanctuary. She belonged to an elderly lady who passed away, and nobody seemed to want her because she is a little odd looking." Typical Camille, feeling sorry for a creature that doesn't quite fit in. Not that Richard minded that quality, without it she might not ever have fallen in love with him. "And she had a very good temperament," she added.
Alex decided to prove this point, gathering up her new friend really rather roughly and awkwardly toddling over to Richard to let him have a closer look. Richard thought he could detect a resigned look in the cat's features, and for a moment almost emphasised with the creature. He, too, spent a lot of time being physically dragged about by his children.
"Poofs, Da!" Alex's language skills weren't quite up to formal introductions yet.
"Oh yes! She is quite wonderful, darling! Thank you," Alex was far too young to detect the sarcasm in his tone, and smiled brightly at his apparent approval. Camille could though, and gave him another warning look. He stooped to pat to fur ball briefly on the head in an attempt to be conciliatory, and then hastily retreated.
Later that evening he was trying to finish an Agatha Christie when a large, warm, furry lump leapt into his lap, successfully startling him enough that he dropped the book. Sat back on her haunches, she thrashed what was supposed to be her tail and stared at him expectantly.
Richard stared straight back.
She gave a soft, plaintive meow. Richard told her, equally plaintively, "Shoo!"
She head butted his hand. Richard shifted his legs a little, hoping the movement would dislodge her without the need for him to get any more aggressive.
Instead, she stood up and began to rub herself against any part of his body she could reach in a manner he could only describe as wanton. Sighing, he tentatively reached out a hand and tickled her under the chin as he had seen Camille do earlier. The purring started instantaneously, so he must be doing something right. Actually, it was rather a relaxing noise actually, not nearly as annoying as he had thought it earlier.
"There we go! I knew you too would get along!" Camille's voice held a very definite smug tone to it, and when he looked at her she wore an evil little grin to match.
His wife's ability to sneak up on him was something that would always be annoying.