My Special Angel, a glee fanfic

A/N: I upped how far along Quinn is in her pregnancy so my story could be more accurate.

"Can I see her?" Quinn asked hoarsely.

"I'll have to take you to her, sugar", replied the nurse.

Quinn shuddered as she was lead from her room down to the private nursery where her baby was hanging onto life by a flimsy thread. Once she reached she reached her daughter tears began to fall freely from her eyes as she recalled the events of the previous days.

Her school day had just begun and the former head of the Cheerios was sitting silently in the Glee room trying to find solace. Quinn Fabray was pondering absently about her current situation. Glee had just won sectionals a few weeks ago, which was great, but she just couldn't feel good about it.

Finn didn't kick her out, but she couldn't stay there. So she'd been floating around from different friends houses, not really staying anywhere. She'd gotten a part time job and started saving up her money so she could get a place of her own, but she didn't even have a quarter of the amount she needed to achieve this goal, and on top of this doctor bills kept piling on.

Plus she also needed to save for the baby needs. Sure, Puck kept slipping her money, which she couldn't really refuse anymore, but it wasn't enough. In less than four months she would be a mother. Since Mr. Shue had left his wife, there was no one to take her baby anymore.

She was completely alone and very stressed out. Life just seemed impossible at that moment.

"Hey, Quinn." said a voice from the door.

She raised her eyes to find Rachel Berry, the girl who had messed up her entire situation. Yet, she couldn't hate her; Rachel had lifted the monkey from her back. She was free of her lie, but still carried the shame.

"What do you want?" Quinn asked not in annoyance, but with a tired voice.

"Well, I was just coming here to do some early morning warm ups and I saw you sitting there… I just wanted to make sure you were alright." Rachel said biting her lip.

"I'm fine, thanks for your concern." Quinn replied gathering her things and heading for the door. She wasn't sure why she just couldn't open up and accept help, maybe it was pride. At any rate she couldn't stand pity.

The day went on as normal. Classes she was falling behind in because of work. Having to pee every ten minutes. People whispering about her and the baby bump she could no longer hide. Seeing Puck. Seeing Finn. Guilt. So much guilt eating at her. The world was just too heavy on her shoulders.

So when she reached Glee that day, it was just about time for her life to completely crumble.

After school, the only part of her week she looked forward to, was Glee. The club went through its routines. Practicing numbers, suggesting new ones, banter between everyone, etc. Only the pit of her stomach was churning. Finn would not even look at her, Puck kept his distance from her, and everyone else was awkward around. No one knew what to say to her or how to approach her. She was the Glee club leper.

After it was over she lingered. Finn and Puck got into a spout when the accidentally collided during one of their numbers.

"Watch it asshole," Finn had snapped.

"Fuck you, Finn," Puck had replied viciously.

And then they began to fight. This time Mr. Shue had laid down the law. Anymore fights between the two of them, they would be out of Glee. Quinn felt completely responsible and she hated herself.

Before leaving Puck had asked if she was alright, she seemed a bit pale. Quinn told him she was fine and he left her at that. She really admired Puck for wanting to be there for her and the baby. But she couldn't reciprocate the feelings he had for her. She was in love with Finn. He was lost to her though and her heart was broken because of it.

Walking from the school she began to feel light headed. She passed people in the parking lot and began seeing spots. She could hear people call her name, but all she could pay attention to is the worst pain she'd ever felt physically in her life. Something was wrong, her baby…. She felt someone pick her up. Someone was calling 911, and someone was screaming. She realized she was the one screaming.

"It's going to be okay." She heard someone say as she was being lifted onto a stretcher. She then let out one last blood chortling scream and lost consciousness.

The next hours were complete agony. Quinn had gone into premature labor. She heard a nurse mention a possible miscarriage. The girl who had once had the entire world at her feet, was about to loose everything completely. An emergency C section had been given to her and her baby, born three months premature, was placed in a plastic box, fighting for her life.

The next day she was being looked after, no one but family could see her. Quinn's parents had been notified, but no one came. She had asked and asked to see her child, but she wasn't well enough to get out of bed. The doctor had told her that labor had been induced because of all the stress Quinn had been unsuccessfully been dealing with. When she asked about her daughter's survival, the reply was grim.

So that night when the nurse had come to check on her she asked again:

"Can I see her?"

"I'll have to take you to her, sugar", replied the nurse.

"Am I allowed to touch her?" she whispered through her tears.

"You'll have to use these" the nurse said indicating the holes with built in gloves.

"Okay… do you mind if I have some time alone with her?" Quinn cried.

"Sure sugar, you can stay with her as long as you like." The nurse said sadly.

"Thank you." She replied softly.

When she was left alone with her baby for the first time, Quinn broke down. She pulled up a chair and reached her arm through the hole and gently stroked a tiny arm. Looking over her baby she noticed how small it was, how it was barely breathing, and how beautiful she was.

She had dark hair like Puck and her skin tone matched Quinn's. Though it was tiny, Quinn decided the baby had her nose. She didn't know what color her daughter's eyes were though, they were closed.

For what seemed like hours, Quinn held that tiny hand and cried. Then when she could cry no more she began talking to her daughter.

"I know you probably can't hear me and I know you don't understand me, but I love you. I don't know you, but I love you. You were the light at the end of my tunnel. Even though my life seemed really hard and at times I felt like giving up, I really did want to be your mom. I wanted to give you everything. I wanted you to feel all the love I have for you. I wanted to see you grow, go to school, take you to swim lessons, maybe even see you become a cheerleader, or join the Glee, or both" Quinn smiled sadly, "But most of all, I wanted to be there for you. I wanted you to know that I'd never abandon you the way my parents have. I just… I want you to pull through this. But I'm trying to make peace with the fact that you probably won't."

Tears welling in her eyes again she said, "I always wanted to be one of those moms who sang their kids to sleep. So I'm going to sing to you right now. Because you are my 'special angel'…"

And then with a heart and voice full of love and sorrow she began to sing to her baby.

(Angel, angel, whoa-oh-oh-oh, ooh)
(Angel, angel, whoa-oh-oh-oh, ooh)

You are my special angel
Sent from up above
The Lord smiled down on me
And sent an angel to love (to love)
You are my special angel
Right from paradise
I know that you're an angel
Heaven is in your eyes

A smile from your lips
Bring the summer sunshine
The tears from your eyes bring the rain
I feel your touch, your warm embrace
And I'm in heaven again

You are my special angel
Through eternity
I'll have my special angel
Here to watch over me

(A smile from your lips)
(Brings the summer sunshine)
(The tears from your eyes bring the rain)
I feel your touch
Your warm embrace
And I'm in heaven again

You are my special angel
Through eternity
I'll have my special angel
Here to watch over me (watch over me)
Here to watch over me
(Angel, angel)
(Whoa-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oooooh)

When she finished the baby stirred slightly. And for a moment Quinn felt hopeful. But then the monitor showed the baby's heart slowing down. She realized there was no chance that she'd ever get to raise her baby. She stayed the entire night with her child and awoke the next morning to a knock at the door.

"Ms. Fabray?" a different nurse called quietly.

"Yes?" she said reluctantly looking away from her child.

"A young man named, Noah Puckerman, is claiming to be the child's father and would like to see her. I need you to confirm that he is the father and we can send him in." the nurse stated matter of fact way.

"Yes he is her father, please send him in."

A few minutes later Puck entered hesitantly. When he saw Quinn his eyes darkened with sadness and he rushed to her side. After being explained the situation and the likelihood of the baby surviving, Puck also began to cry. Pulling away from the child Quinn went to embrace him and they stayed that way for awhile.

After collecting himself, Puck went to his daughter as Quinn had, and touched her hand.

Fifteen minutes later, their baby died. They both were devastated. Puck and Quinn comforted each other. Eventually she was escorted to her room where she was allowed visitors. Puck stayed with her mostly because he couldn't move. Mr. Shue and Ms. Pillsbury visited and gave condolences. The entire Glee club, minus Finn, came to offer support. Even Coach Sue stopped by. Puck left when his mother came and then Quinn was left alone.

Her parents had stopped by earlier in the day; her father apologized as did her mother, and they told her how much they had missed her. At the end of the visit she was set to come home the next day.

It was twenty minutes before visiting hours were over and Quinn felt completely empty. She began to cry when a wave of relief and depression overwhelmed her. She had lost her first child, whom she named, Angel.

A knock at the door startled her.

"Come in."

Her heart swelled when she saw Finn walk through the door.

"Hi." Finn said looking down and shuffling his feet.

"Hey," she said also looking down.

"Sorry, I wasn't here earlier; I got caught up in some things." He looked up at her.

"I didn't think you'd stop by anyway," she admitted quietly.

"I was here yesterday, but they weren't letting you have visitors, I stayed with you until the ambulance came…" he started.

"Wait, you called the ambulance?" she looked at him surprised.

"I saw you walking in the parking lot and then I saw you fall. I knew something was wrong and I couldn't just leave you." He was beside her bed now.

"Thank you, Finn," she was crying again.

"Listen," he began, "I was hurt by you. Pretty bad, actually. But I still felt that love for the baby, you know? I couldn't just drop that feeling. Quinn, I still care about you. And I want to be here for you right now. I know you must be in so much pain right now. So if you need a shoulder or a just a friend in general, call me."

"I don't deserve this, Finn." She looked at him through fresh tears.

"You just went through hell, so don't tell me that you couldn't use a break." He smiled slightly.

An announcement came over stating that visitors had five minutes.

"I'd better go, how about I stop by tomorrow when you get home? See how you are?" he asked earnestly.

"I'd like that." She gave him a half smile.

"Later, Q."

"Goodbye, Finn."

When the door closed Quinn had no more tears left. She knew the world hadn't ended, but a piece of hers had. She felt as though part of her had died, maybe it had. While some hope had been given to her, she couldn't help but to feel hopeless. Her child was dead and she blamed herself for being over stressed. But when sleep found her that night, she dreamed of a tiny angel. A special angel. One who she knew would be with her forever.

A/N: Very depressing and sad. Sorry!! The song is by Bobby Helms called, My Special Angel. I don't own that or Glee sadly.