I've known for awhile now. I just never said anything. I didn't want it to be true so I just pushed it to the back of my mind never to resurface. I had hoped it wouldn't come to this but now here I am crying on our bed. The one that still smelled like him, the only part of him that hadn't changed. The one we used to cuddle together in. The one that's no longer his but only mine. It's not fair. Here I am curled into a ball sobbing my eyes out because of him while he banged on the door telling me to come out. Why? Well let me tell you what happened.
It started out as a regular day for the both of us. We ate breakfast, goofed around a bit, and he kissed me goodbye when I left for work like he always did. I thought I would've had more time with him but when I got home from work there he was sitting on the couch nervously fidgeting. I also noticed that the house had been cleaned but I knew for a fact that he had work today.
Besides the fidgeting that was the first sign that something was wrong. I could tell he hadn't left the house which means he either skipped or he called in sick. I took off my jacket and my shoes then threw my keys on the counter before walking over to him.
As soon as I got close to him he jumped off the couch and motioned for me to sit so I did. I was really nervous I hoped it wasn't about what I thought it was because I wasn't ready yet. I didn't want to discuss it.
He turned his back to me and began speaking.
"K-karkat I um-god thith ith harder than I thought it wath going to be. Fuck um..." he sighed.
I gulped. "Sollux? What is it? Just tell me" I said looking at my lap. I could feel my stomach doing flips and my throat tightened. This was about what I thought it was I could tel by the way he was acting.
"Oh god I-I did thomething that I thouldn't have." He turned to face me now and I looked up to see tears falling from his one red and one blue eyes. It broke my heart. I couldn't say anything there wasn't anything to say.
"Karkat I cheated on you with...with Eridan..." Silence complete and utter silence ascended through the room as we stared into each others eyes. I couldn't speak, hearing it out loud spoken from those lips the ones I loved made everything more real.
He looked at me with pleading eyes. "Karkat thay thomething. Pleathe..." he spoke in such a sad way that I felt my heart shatter again. I let the tears I had been holding back fall as I buried my face in my hands.
"I know" I whispered looking up at him to see his reaction. He looked shocked.
"Wait you you knew?" his voice was shaky.
"Yes I knew. I mean how could I not!?," I ask throwing my arms up in the air, standing up and staring him down. "You-god you've never avoided me as much as you did the day it happened. You were a little back to yourself the day after but it still wasn't you! I know how you act! We've been best friends since we were ten and we've been boyfriends since we were eighteen and now were twenty-two! I fucking know you Sollux! You're still not the same..." I sighed rubbing my temples "You're not the same because I know you've been seeing him since it first happened...Sollux I know okay? I know you like him. You've liked him since you guys met two years ago. I just I wished we could move past this but you hardly come near me anymore..." My voice wavered as more tears fell. "I can tell you're only tolerating me. I just I didn't want to end it because I still love you. I love you so much even though you've been cheating." I fell to my knees and sobbed. Sollux sat down and pulled me into a hug.
"Kk I-I'm thorry. I don't I don't l-" I reached around and covered his mouth.
"N-no just don't don't fucking say it." I didn't want to hear those words I didn't want him to say he didn't love me anymore. He pried my hand off his mouth.
"Karkat I have to. I need you to know. I don't love you anymore. I only love you ath a friend. I think I might love Eridan." That was it. There went my heart. There went everything. I pushed him away and stood up.
"NO! YOU'RE LYING! PLEASE! TELL ME YOU'RE LYING! SOLLUX PLEASE! Oh god why? Why is this happening to me?"
"Kk I'm thorry. I-" he started but I cut him off.
"No! Don't call me that! You don't have the right! Okay you can't not anymore! A real friend wouldn't do this!" I yelled running into our-my room. I slammed the door and locked it throwing myself onto the bed which brings us back to the present. Me sobbing my eyes out. I didn't think it would go this way. I thought we could've maybe patched it up but he said he doesn't love me anymore. He loves that stupid fuckass Eridan. I didn't think it would come to this. None of it was fair.
"Karkat! Karkat come out of there! Pleathe! I'm thorry! I'm thorry for everything! Pleathe jutht let'th talk." I could hear him slump to the floor but I didn't move. What was there to talk about?
"Karkat all I want you to know ith that I really did love you. It'th jutht when I met Eridan we jutht thort of clicked. It wath like we were meant for each other." I moved over to the door and sat against it as quietly as I could before speaking. "I thought that we were meant to be. I thought we were perfect for each other. I thought all these things but I guess I was wrong." I chuckled bemusedly. "I guess I was wrong about a lot of things huh. I'm just a stupid pathetic loser that you took pity on because I could never do anything for myself. You never liked me let alone loved me. How could I be so dumb?"
"Karkat why? Why would you thay that? I did love you that'th what I thaid I wouldn't ever lie about that. We were never right together well no that'th a lie. For the first two yearth we were. But Kk I think we've alwayth been better ath friendth. I with it wathn't true but that'th jutht the way it ith. I hope you can forgive me. I really am thorry" I could hear him get up. A few minutes later I heard the front door close.
I brought my knees to my chest burying my face in them and crying for the last time. I had just lost my boyfriend and possibly my best friend. I didn't know what to do so all I did was cry.
I didn't think I could ever forgive him for breaking my heart like that. If I ever did though and we were friends again I don't think our friendship would ever be the same. I wouldn't fully trust him anymore and that killed me inside but I knew it was the truth.
He took a piece of me that day. I don't think I'll ever love again.
I'm Karkat Vantas And My Heart Has Just Been Shattered By None Other Than My Best-friend/Boyfriend
I Don't Know If I'll Ever Be The Same.
A/N: Here's a little something I did. I may continue this depending on whether or not you guys like it. :) Review and let me know.