FINAL FANTASY VII
A Countdown To Religion
(Sector 7 Slums. Cloud and Aeris are walking through the street)
CLOUD: Man alive! What a borin' day!
AERIS: Cloud, you didn't *have* to come, you know? I said you could've stayed at home.
CLOUD: When? When did you say that?! You told me that I had to come, otherwise you'd give all my materia to charity!
AERIS: Yes, and don't you think she deserved it?
CLOUD: Huh? You've lost me now.
AERIS: Charity has done so much for me since I joined the Jenova's Witnesses. I'm eternally grateful to her.
CLOUD: Oh, you were talking about that weird religious chick who you've been hanging around with? I thought you were talking about giving my materia to the poor or something.
AERIS: Charity is *not* weird! She has taught me so many things and helped me to live a better life. Religion is great, huh?
CLOUD: Oh puh-lease! Gimmie a break! Religion is a crock!
(A flashback begins. Aeris is walking through the city of Midgar, when a young woman approaches her from behind)
WOMAN: Hello there! Are you fed up of being unenlightened and unfulfilled? Do you yearn to break free from ordinary life and accept Jenova as your lord and saviour?
AERIS: Pardon? Who the heck are you?
WOMAN: Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Charity, and I'm a member of the Jenova's Witnesses. Perhaps you are familiar with our work?
AERIS: I'm familiar with nothing!
CHARITY: Okay, I apologise for wasting your time.
(The young woman turns to walk away, when Aeris experiences a sudden change of heart)
AERIS: Wait! You're a religious organisation, right?
CHARITY: Yes, we certainly are.
AERIS: ...Then sign me up, lady. Sign me up.
(The flashback ends. Cloud and Aeris both walk into 7th Heaven, where Tifa is behind the bar)
AERIS: We're back!
TIFA: You were gone a long time. How'd the seminar go?
AERIS: It went-
CLOUD: (Interrupting) Terrible! We had to all sit in a circle and recite poetry for three hours! I thought I was gonna go insane! And those wacko Jenova's Witnesses; they're just *so* annoying!
AERIS: Oh, you're just upset because they wouldn't let you eat cake! I thought it went really well!
CLOUD: Yeah, whatever you say. I'm going to the crawl space.
(Cloud walks off)
VOICE: (Offscreen) Aeris? Aeris, are you here?
AERIS: Charity! Come on in!
(The young woman from the flashback walks into the bar. She and Aeris both hug, while Tifa looks on in awe)
AERIS: (Giggles) How've you been?
CHARITY: I'm great! Did you enjoy the seminar earlier?
AERIS: Oh, yes! Very much! Best seminar ever!
CHARITY: I'm glad! I'm just so sorry we couldn't convert your friend Cloud.
TIFA: Excuse me?!
CHARITY: (Surprised) Oh! Who's this?
AERIS: Oh, sorry. Charity, this is my best friend in the whole wide world, Tifa Lockheart.
CHARITY: I-I thought I was your best friend...
AERIS: ...Huh? Uh, sure, you're both good friends.
CHARITY: B-But that girl is your *bestest* friend, right?
TIFA: (Groan) I'll be in the crawl space with Cloud.
(Tifa walks off)
CHARITY: So Aeris, are you looking forward to the Annual Jenova Meeting this Sunday?
AERIS: You mean the one in Midgar Church?
CHARITY: Y-Yeah... Midgar Church...
AERIS: (Giggles) I sure am!
(The scene cuts to the crawl space (don't ask). Cloud is tucked up inside, when Tifa comes in to join him)
TIFA: Hi Cloud, mind if I hang out here with you for a while?
CLOUD: Sure, come on in.
TIFA: I'm sorry, but I just had to get away from that weird Charity woman.
CLOUD: What?! That girl from the Jenova's Witnesses is here?!
TIFA: Yeah, she just came in to talk with Aeris. I'm worried about her. This new religion thing is kinda creepy. There's something about it that doesn't seem... kosher.
CLOUD: Yeah, and I heard they're all planning to commit suicide tomorrow.
TIFA: What?!
CLOUD: Oh, relax. It's just a rumor that's been goin' around. Don't worry about it.
(The scene cuts back to the bar. Aeris and Charity are talking with Barrett)
BARRETT: An' another thin' I'd like to know about you type of people... How come you don't celebrate the birth of Christ, even though you're supposed to be religious?
CHARITY: Oh, well it's sort of complicated.
BARRETT: So, if you don't believe in God, then who do ya believe in?
CHARITY: Jenova will one day lead us to the Promised Land. We live for her.
BARRETT: Promised Land? Oh, no! That's jus' a myth, lady.
AERIS: (Quietly) Shh, Barrett! That isn't good!
BARRETT: Whoa, sorry!
CHARITY: So would you be interested in joining us, Barrett?
BARRETT: Hell no!
AERIS: (To Charity) He's a non-believer!
CHARITY: (Angry) I see!
(Cloud and Tifa appear)
CLOUD: What's going on here?
CHARITY: Oh, hello again Cloud. How are you?
CLOUD: Stop being so damn nice all the time! Aeris, I want your weird friend out of here!
AERIS: What?!
TIFA: I agree. You're not welcome here, Ms. Charity.
CHARITY: Fine. Come, Aeris.
AERIS: Huh?
CHARITY: You can stay with me for the night.
TIFA: No, you misunderstand. Aeris doesn't have to leave.
CHARITY: Aeris?
AERIS: ...
CHARITY: Aeris, if you choose to stay with these... savages, then you will no longer be affiliated with the Jenova's Witnesses.
AERIS: ...
TIFA: Don't do it, Aeris!
BARRETT: Yeah, we're your true friends!
CLOUD: Go if you want. Is that what you want me to say? Well I can't let that. Cause if you die, then I'm gonna have nightmares.
AERIS: ...
CHARITY: Come on, Aeris!
AERIS: ...I-I can't.
CHARITY: What?! You stupid woman!
BARRETT: (To Charity) I think you better leave, ma'am.
CHARITY: Jenova! Take her down!
CLOUD: ...? What the...?
(Suddenly, Jenova appears out of nowhere. The whole party stare up at her in horror. Jenova breathes on Aeris, who then melts)
TIFA: Oh my God! They killed Aeris!
CLOUD: You beasts!
(Both Jenova and Charity disappear into thin air)
BARRETT: Well, ya don't see that every day!
CLOUD: Religion is bad...
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THE END__________
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A Countdown To Religion
(Sector 7 Slums. Cloud and Aeris are walking through the street)
CLOUD: Man alive! What a borin' day!
AERIS: Cloud, you didn't *have* to come, you know? I said you could've stayed at home.
CLOUD: When? When did you say that?! You told me that I had to come, otherwise you'd give all my materia to charity!
AERIS: Yes, and don't you think she deserved it?
CLOUD: Huh? You've lost me now.
AERIS: Charity has done so much for me since I joined the Jenova's Witnesses. I'm eternally grateful to her.
CLOUD: Oh, you were talking about that weird religious chick who you've been hanging around with? I thought you were talking about giving my materia to the poor or something.
AERIS: Charity is *not* weird! She has taught me so many things and helped me to live a better life. Religion is great, huh?
CLOUD: Oh puh-lease! Gimmie a break! Religion is a crock!
(A flashback begins. Aeris is walking through the city of Midgar, when a young woman approaches her from behind)
WOMAN: Hello there! Are you fed up of being unenlightened and unfulfilled? Do you yearn to break free from ordinary life and accept Jenova as your lord and saviour?
AERIS: Pardon? Who the heck are you?
WOMAN: Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Charity, and I'm a member of the Jenova's Witnesses. Perhaps you are familiar with our work?
AERIS: I'm familiar with nothing!
CHARITY: Okay, I apologise for wasting your time.
(The young woman turns to walk away, when Aeris experiences a sudden change of heart)
AERIS: Wait! You're a religious organisation, right?
CHARITY: Yes, we certainly are.
AERIS: ...Then sign me up, lady. Sign me up.
(The flashback ends. Cloud and Aeris both walk into 7th Heaven, where Tifa is behind the bar)
AERIS: We're back!
TIFA: You were gone a long time. How'd the seminar go?
AERIS: It went-
CLOUD: (Interrupting) Terrible! We had to all sit in a circle and recite poetry for three hours! I thought I was gonna go insane! And those wacko Jenova's Witnesses; they're just *so* annoying!
AERIS: Oh, you're just upset because they wouldn't let you eat cake! I thought it went really well!
CLOUD: Yeah, whatever you say. I'm going to the crawl space.
(Cloud walks off)
VOICE: (Offscreen) Aeris? Aeris, are you here?
AERIS: Charity! Come on in!
(The young woman from the flashback walks into the bar. She and Aeris both hug, while Tifa looks on in awe)
AERIS: (Giggles) How've you been?
CHARITY: I'm great! Did you enjoy the seminar earlier?
AERIS: Oh, yes! Very much! Best seminar ever!
CHARITY: I'm glad! I'm just so sorry we couldn't convert your friend Cloud.
TIFA: Excuse me?!
CHARITY: (Surprised) Oh! Who's this?
AERIS: Oh, sorry. Charity, this is my best friend in the whole wide world, Tifa Lockheart.
CHARITY: I-I thought I was your best friend...
AERIS: ...Huh? Uh, sure, you're both good friends.
CHARITY: B-But that girl is your *bestest* friend, right?
TIFA: (Groan) I'll be in the crawl space with Cloud.
(Tifa walks off)
CHARITY: So Aeris, are you looking forward to the Annual Jenova Meeting this Sunday?
AERIS: You mean the one in Midgar Church?
CHARITY: Y-Yeah... Midgar Church...
AERIS: (Giggles) I sure am!
(The scene cuts to the crawl space (don't ask). Cloud is tucked up inside, when Tifa comes in to join him)
TIFA: Hi Cloud, mind if I hang out here with you for a while?
CLOUD: Sure, come on in.
TIFA: I'm sorry, but I just had to get away from that weird Charity woman.
CLOUD: What?! That girl from the Jenova's Witnesses is here?!
TIFA: Yeah, she just came in to talk with Aeris. I'm worried about her. This new religion thing is kinda creepy. There's something about it that doesn't seem... kosher.
CLOUD: Yeah, and I heard they're all planning to commit suicide tomorrow.
TIFA: What?!
CLOUD: Oh, relax. It's just a rumor that's been goin' around. Don't worry about it.
(The scene cuts back to the bar. Aeris and Charity are talking with Barrett)
BARRETT: An' another thin' I'd like to know about you type of people... How come you don't celebrate the birth of Christ, even though you're supposed to be religious?
CHARITY: Oh, well it's sort of complicated.
BARRETT: So, if you don't believe in God, then who do ya believe in?
CHARITY: Jenova will one day lead us to the Promised Land. We live for her.
BARRETT: Promised Land? Oh, no! That's jus' a myth, lady.
AERIS: (Quietly) Shh, Barrett! That isn't good!
BARRETT: Whoa, sorry!
CHARITY: So would you be interested in joining us, Barrett?
BARRETT: Hell no!
AERIS: (To Charity) He's a non-believer!
CHARITY: (Angry) I see!
(Cloud and Tifa appear)
CLOUD: What's going on here?
CHARITY: Oh, hello again Cloud. How are you?
CLOUD: Stop being so damn nice all the time! Aeris, I want your weird friend out of here!
AERIS: What?!
TIFA: I agree. You're not welcome here, Ms. Charity.
CHARITY: Fine. Come, Aeris.
AERIS: Huh?
CHARITY: You can stay with me for the night.
TIFA: No, you misunderstand. Aeris doesn't have to leave.
CHARITY: Aeris?
AERIS: ...
CHARITY: Aeris, if you choose to stay with these... savages, then you will no longer be affiliated with the Jenova's Witnesses.
AERIS: ...
TIFA: Don't do it, Aeris!
BARRETT: Yeah, we're your true friends!
CLOUD: Go if you want. Is that what you want me to say? Well I can't let that. Cause if you die, then I'm gonna have nightmares.
AERIS: ...
CHARITY: Come on, Aeris!
AERIS: ...I-I can't.
CHARITY: What?! You stupid woman!
BARRETT: (To Charity) I think you better leave, ma'am.
CHARITY: Jenova! Take her down!
CLOUD: ...? What the...?
(Suddenly, Jenova appears out of nowhere. The whole party stare up at her in horror. Jenova breathes on Aeris, who then melts)
TIFA: Oh my God! They killed Aeris!
CLOUD: You beasts!
(Both Jenova and Charity disappear into thin air)
BARRETT: Well, ya don't see that every day!
CLOUD: Religion is bad...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE END__________
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